SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

What was supposed to be a great vacation will always be reminded as one our family's darkest times.

Our beautiful 5lb yorkie, Sophia, was hit and killed just as we left for vacation.

We tried to do what we thought was right. The last time we put her in a puppy hotel(with her poodle brother), she seemed to have a hard time with it. She is so dependent on my wife---their bond was inseparable. This year, we had relatives stay at our house, so they would have interaction.

The tragedy is non of their fault---it is entirely my wife's and my own. I didn't make our yard secure enough, and my wife made baby so dependent upon her. And when Sophia was let out back to go potty...like normal...she escaped, and found her way to the highway. She has never even left our yard before this day.

We immediately headed back home from driving to our vacation destination, when she was lost. Teams of friends and neighbors looked all night. The following morning, my wife and I hung fliers throughout our town, and as we were driving home from the last posting, I saw her on the side of the road. We are literally crushed.

I am a six foot, 200+ plus guy, and I am crying like a baby. Our older son is special needs, and was so looking forward to this vacation, that we still had to come. I drove for 18 hours yesterday, and today, to get here. But my wife and I are in agony, along with our younger son. We know we have to hide our emotions, and be the stable parents, but all I want to do is crawl into a hole and cry for weeks. God, I miss her so much. I don't know how my wife will get through this.

I am so so sorry for your pain my Kitty died two days ago and I cant stop sobbing. The pain of losing a pet is horrible.

(((jb & family)))

I am sorry for your loss.

((((jb and family)))) I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

((((jb and family)))) Our furbabies become such important and integral parts of our families. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Pets are such a major part of our families.

Sending (((hugs))) and strength.

So sorry ((((jb&family)))).

So sorry

(((hugs)))

(((((hugs))))) to both you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear about Sophia. furry friends are part of the family and their loss is immeasurable. Please take care of yourself while grieving your sudden loss.

we'll all be thinking of you

Thanks, everyone.

This week is going to be brutal. The wife and I are trying to be strong in front of the kids. but it is agony. Our oldest is enjoying himself, and our 16y.o. to a fair extent, but he is hurting, too. I have told him that he should grieve like he needs to, but I am assuming that he is coping in his own way.

I am really concerned for my wife---and I mean seriously concerned. Her bond with Sophia was like one that I have never seen in all my years---and we are pet people. I could see some sort of mini breakdown when we get home. She is forging ahead, and doing well at it, but she is putting all her emotions on temporary hold. She doesn't want to go back in the house. I fear the ride home on Sunday.

I know many of you have been here before. So have we, but never to this level. They really were inseparable....but kind of in a healthy way, if you know what I mean. My wife has really put her life back on track since 6/11---been sober, constantly working on herself, and returning to who she was before alcohol and infidelity entered her life. I am not saying that she will relapse, but she is currently angry---very angry---with God, and even AA. I hope that this is temporary. This little dog was not even 2 years old, and was not a part of her life when it was in a tailspin. In my wife's eyes, this baby was *clean* of all that chaos, and my wife protected that image strongly...even if she won't admit it.

She is still in regular counseling, so at least that is already in place when we get home.

I guess we'll power through another day, and see where we are.

Thanks again for the responses. It helps to just put my thoughts in print.

This will be a very difficult time for everyone. The loss is traumatizing.

And very gently please reconsider 'hiding your emotions' and 'being strong'.

Holding in your grief will not work; it will eventually come out in ways that you would not expect, sometimes years later. That can be worse than working through it right away. I know this because of my own issues I've worked through this year.

I've learned its OK to cry. It's OK to feel your feelings. Its how you heal. That goes for male or female, old or young. Actively ask your boys and wife how they FEEL; not just once but several times. Actively acknowledge how you feel, too.

I don't mean to provide unsolicited advice during your time of grief so I offer my apology but please know that what you are feeling is real. Your grief is real. Your family's grief is real. Talking about it, crying about it, as a family will help heal.

((((((((jb3199))))))))

(((jb and family)))

((((JB and Family))))

We are pet people so I get the pain and overwhelming grief you are feeling.

Try to focus on the fact that you were able to give her a very happy life, and that she will always hold a special place in your heart.

I lost 3 of my fur kids within a year, and it was really hard on my son (he is 16 now was 14-15during that time). We encouraged him to grieve, and he did, but it was in a very silent way, he can now talk about all of them and feel happy that we provided great homes and bonds for all of them.

Wishing you peace, and strength during this time.

((((and strength)))

Jb, first my sincere sympathies. I too had a dog that I can not describe how I felt about that dog. When he died, I too was mad at God. Why do parrots live 80 years and not dogs??

My h said to me, "this is when your faith comes in. You have to lean into your faith not back away. "

That statement was eye opening to me,, which I guess it should not have been. Anyway, it did help me a lot. I will be praying for you and your wife. The loss of a beloved pet leaves a big hole in our heart. It fills in eventually, but it sure does suck in the meantime.

I'm so sorry...

My heart is breaking for you. I lost my dog 3 years ago and believe me I had a special bond. When I would go out of town, he would lie downstairs by the door and howl for me. He was 13 when he left this world and he was truly like my child. I was devastated. My sister kept telling me I needed to get another to help me heal and I wouldn't have anything to do with it. It took 7 years to get over the loss of my other dog. But, after 7 months, I found one to adopt and he truly did heal my heart. I know it's so soon, but they truly help you heal.

hugs to you and your family

((((the whole jb family))))

I'm glad your wife has IC set up.

My BH wanted a puppy about 4 months after d-day and I was hoping the dog would be a comfort to him. It has turned out that she has more saved me than him. I understand what your W means when she says Sophia was clean of all that chaos. Our Gigi is a whole new life untouched by infidelity. Nothing about her is triggering. She is wonderful.

I'm praying for you and your family. I know this is so hard.

My pets are my heart and have been crucial to my survival of S/D. I can't imagine what you are going through.

I am so, so sorry....