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lilacs40 (original poster member #31314) posted at 7:49 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
So here I am again. My second DDay was Saturday. Things haven't been good between us and I had hoped that with MC they could be saved. I just told him we needed to talk about going agin 3 days prior to me finding out. Apparently WH did/does not. I so wish I had done things differently the first time this happened. Either we would have already divorced or maybe it would have not happened again. I have learned though (while I have to own things that are mine that made my marriage crumble) that until WH figures out why he keeps having EA our marriage won't
He doesn't believe that IC will help him and I can't do this again. I can't believe my marriage is over. I miss him already and the kids and I haven't even moved out yet.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 7:51 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
I'm so sorry. In my case, the second DDay was painful but it also set me free. Despite the pain, I had clarity over who I had been trying to R with and understood it was all over.
I know you are still in shock but....there is a whole life ahead of you with better possibilities now that you are going to move on.
(((((hugs)))))
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:57 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
(((hugs))) If he doesn't want to try to understand what the heck is wrong with him, then he leaves you little choice. I'm so sorry. Please remember that all of this heartbreak is due to HIS horrible decisions and choices.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
kasp ( new member #42393) posted at 8:00 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
My second dday was Thursday. My post topic was almost the same. Feeling like all the work we did over the last year has been complete bullshit. He's been in therapy for a year working on herself but obviously not on us. I'm totally bummed. Found it good to confide in a close friend which I haven't really done before and then tell a couple of my employees that I'm dealing with some issues as well. It freed me to be Ok to feel what I feel and when. Also called my counselor just to vent a little and hear a calming voice. Just keep talking. Don't try to keep it inside.
kasp ( new member #42393) posted at 8:01 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
Sorry. "She's" been in therapy for a year.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:18 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
(((lilacs)))
It sucks that you are back, and that he is up to the same ole, same ole. But you at least now have your truth, and know that he is incapable of truly committing and doing the work that is required for R to be successful.
(((and strength)))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 9:47 PM on Monday, February 10th, 2014
(((((lilacs))))) I'm so very sorry, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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