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jrc1963 (original poster member #26531) posted at 2:55 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
I have found that as I age and my hormones change I have developed a problem with tearing in that sensitive lady area.
It seems to happen even when FWSO and I haven't had intercourse.
How have you dealt with this situation?
It's interfering with my life and it's annoying.
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 3:17 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
Estrogen cream. Let your doctor know.
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 3:57 AM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
jrc...
I have no advice except to second PJ...definitely talk to your doctor 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 2:57 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
Yep. Estrogen cream or it comes in vaginal tablets which is less messy.
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:50 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
As we age, and our hormone levels drop off we produce less of our natural lubricants for intercourse. Blah Blah Blah. However if you want to go a hormone free way of dealing with this issue, there are other choices.
1. Olive oil. This has been used for Centuries as a lubricant for sex, and does amazing things for you skin. It only takes a drop or two.
2. Synthetic lubes are amazing in this day and age. Try out some of these. Wet Platinum is one of my favorites. Some are water based, and wash right off, they tend not to be as long lasting, and certainly don't provide any healing quality after.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 9:18 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
I think coconut oil is great too. It has anti-fungal properties which is good for fighting off yeast overgrowths.
Vitamin E comes in suppositories too for this purpose.
You can make your own coconut oil/vitamin E supposititories by mixing coconut oil and drops of vitamin E and then putting a teaspoonful on a plate in the freezer. A little chilly, but solid and easier to get up there than liquid oils.
Blue Poppy makes some chinese herb oils for this purpose too.
Vitamin C is a good idea since it helps to create collagen which make tissues stronger.
Do you eat a lot of sugar? That would make the tearing more likely.
BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 10:11 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
Ok, maybe more info than you want, but coconut oil is great. It smells good, good for your skin, good for private area massage, very soluble, and is food grade so safe for consuming :)
Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:18 PM on Tuesday, February 11th, 2014
Thank you inner and lady. I knew I was forgetting something earlier. Coconut oil is awesome.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
jrc1963 (original poster member #26531) posted at 12:28 AM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
Thank you guys.... I was thinking estrogen cream, but was hoping for some non-hormonal options.
I'll try the olive oil/coconut oil before I see the Dr.
Thank you Dr PJ for your input as well.
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:56 PM on Wednesday, February 12th, 2014
I actually use olive oil and have for a long time. We had a little old Italian lady that lived next door, and one time as a kid I developed a urethritis from bubble bath, she told my mom about the magic of olive oil.
I keep a small travel sized bottle of it in my night stand.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
JustDesserts ( member #39665) posted at 3:52 AM on Thursday, February 13th, 2014
Organic coconut oil. Amazon or health food section.
Previous posters touched upon the exceptional properties.
Best...lube...ever. My BW & I use it exclusively. From a man's perspective, exceptional stuff. From both our perspectives, well, positive TMI to the max applies. She's had micro tearing issue, too.
We've told a few friends and they've thought we're...(coco) nuts!
2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 51. Her: BW, 50. Married 20 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.
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