SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

A previous post mentioned that the WS used the phrase, "I swear on the lives of my kids" as "proof" that a certain event, etc. did not happen. My WS used the same phrase (after I confronted him) that he and his ex did not have a physical affair (in real time), just (!) skype sex. A responder said that it was a common phrase used by WS. I'm wondering just how common it is. I understand that WS lie like crazy, but to swear on your kids lives?Could they have that much disregard (for lack of a better word)that they could actually swear such a thing?

The OW used to make her kids swear on their Dad's life. It was how she could tell if they were lying when they were young. When xWH started swearing on our kids, I knew that he was in too deep. I finally told him that the swear didn't mean anything if he didn't believe in it. I feel that it is used for dramatic effect. It's like when you are young and swear on your own life.

My FWS swore on his children's lives, the Bible, his Dad's grave, you name it. And he continued to lie and trickle truth. It really meant nothing to him.

Words....I think that they use this because they know that it does and would mean something to us. They use that against us, because it doesn't mean squat to them.

oh yes....I heard the exact words.

Several times.....

I really think that the words mean nothing to a WS who has already decided to break marriage vows. I don't think any promise is sacred once principles and morals are compromised. Swearing on the lives of one's children only means something if the WS actually believes he/she has the power to affect the lives of one's children with a lie. By the time he/she has justified the affair, even an oath to tell the truth with one hand on the Bible would be meaningless.

Basically, if the words don't add up to what is logically true to you, your spouse is probably lying regardless of how upstanding a person he or she has been in the past. Most of the time, where there is opportunity for a physical relationship, a physical relationship has occurred if everything else in the spouse's behavior indicates that he/she wanted a physical relationship and the attraction was there for both parties.

Tearsoflove's post is spot on, unfortunately. If they can break the vows they made before God, what's a little swearing on the lives if the kids? I think WS's say that a lot.

I know that's not what you want to hear. My WH is still trying to tell me he never met his AP, but I also have to believe TOL's last sentence: "Most of the time, where there is opportunity for a physical relationship, a physical relationship has occurred if everything else in the spouse's behavior indicates that he/she wanted a physical relationship and the attraction was there for both parties."

Mine said it, also she swore on her mother's life-then her mom died within 4 months.

Yep. Heard it. WS swore on my eldest daughter's life that he was not having sex with OW.

Mine swore on the lives of our kids trying to convince me he was telling the truth. Liars!

He also lied directly to them about being truthful with me. Looked into their sad faces and lied.

Makes me want to smash his head in. Don't f with my kids!

[This message edited by BtraydWife at 3:52 PM, February 27th (Thursday)]

WH swore on our children's lives that he hadn't cheated except for a hug. Well, that was a huge mountain of burning crap.

Here's the thing: They're liars, AND they know that this lie won't really kill their kids. It means nothing to them.

[This message edited by pass at 5:03 PM, February 27th, 2014 (Thursday)]

Mine said it too - while looking me straight in the eye. It's in the cheaters handbook, apparently

FWH swore on his beloved deceased mother's soul, one year after she passed away. Bald faced lie.

I think that something they all have in common is some justification program override in their brains that allows them to lie by instantaneously creating a new reality.

In FWH's case, he convinced himself in that millisecond that there was no such thing as a soul and the promise was therefore meaningless. He has since proved trustworthiness by other means, but he has also committed never to swear on our daughter's soul, even if he believes he has told the truth. I'm not going to jeopardize her intangibles with this bullshit.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 5:19 PM, February 27th (Thursday)]

Mine did on DD. Swore on our kids lives he would never speak to ow again, that she meant nothing, and that nothing happened between them except inappropriate texting. Strike 3..all lies. It gives me chills to think he could do that. I wouldnt swear anything on my kids life if I WAS telling the truth.

Yep. My WH swore on our son's life. He also pinky promised.

Oh, yes. WH swore on our kids that he had been NC with her and wanted nothing to do with her. BIG LIE! He was still skyping her, texting with her, facebook, you name it. I have no actual proof if they had physical contact though during this time. This went on for 2 months post DDay.

BUT! Here's the real pain and hurt of the entire sorted A. My youngest son, the apple of his daddy's eye, started becoming increasingly ill. His asthma, which was basically non-existent became very severe, to the point he had to stop all physical activity. (He is a true athlete, plays tournament level tennis, and attends a tennis school. He practices for at least 6 hours daily) Not long after that, about 2 months, he started to complain of severe stomach pains. So much so, that we went to the ER. He later had to have an endoscopy done of his stomach to determine the cause. Turns out he had developed acute gastritis. (not from h-pylori) That was a year ago! My son has since then managed twice to even try to get on the court, and then for only an hour or so. He remains very ill to this day.

My H is from a society that believes very much in Karma, and is quite superstitious. I know he believes that by swearing on his son's life, he has brought this upon him. Well, it may not have been the swear itself, but it was the A that did it. All the doctors agree that his symptoms have been brought on by severe stress.

Bottom line: Your actions have consequences!!!!

[This message edited by jstbreathe at 6:06 PM, February 27th (Thursday)]

Yessirree! My ex swore on the lives of our children. He swore on his sainted mother's grave. He challenged God to strike him dead.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Sure. Okay.

Friggin' liar.

Just a footnote: the day after xWH married OWifetress his best friend since 4th grade died. The following year on their anniversary his step father died. Not sure what kind of karma this is but our entire family feels cursed since he brought her into the picture.

My ex swore on his mother's grave. I had to remind him she wasn't dead yet. Then he swore on her life. I don't play with that kind of thing, I believe words have power. I don't call in sick if I'm not. I just say I can't come in lol. If something happens because he put that out there...