I should clarify some details: The A took place a few years ago and lasted a year, according to him. Again, not naive, but since I didn't catch him and he confessed it on his own, Im not sure why he would change those details. But I am sure it has happened. I do not know, however if they are still in contact with each other, which I intend to find out. So far everything I have had a chance to ask has been answered. He knows I want and need more details and he says he is willing to respond, but not while he is at work.
Also, he stayed at the motel because I needed him to go. I had the kids to worry about and he asked me what I wanted him to do, leave or stay?
He is currently at work, something I can verify, not currently with her, although that doesn't mean he isn't in contact with her via text. Again, I have my eyes wide open, but the post suggesting that he has already left the marriage I think was a bit premature and I admit that some details were missing from my original post. I was just trying to get it all out.
All I do know is he sent me the details of the therapist he is hoping to meet with. She covers all variables (IC, MC, etc...) This is so he can see her in IC while keeping the option for MC open.
Im just going crazy as I wait for THE conversation. I have questions, that he wont answer while at work. He knows, so far, what I expect, and seems to be ready to do what I ask, but again, actions will determine how sincere he is.
Remember, this is just 3 days in. He isn't getting in to see a therapist on a Saturday or Sunday no matter how invested he may or may not be in working this out.
His not being here for a few days has actually helped me gain some of my composure. Not having a daily reminder of what he did. I also needed time to adjust to avoid breaking down in from of my kids, which I know I wouldn't have been able to do had he been in the house the whole time.
I already had a standing appt. with my GYN and will ask for an STD test. It was the first question I asked him and he says he used protection, but I obviously don't believe him. Not for an entire year!
My next goal is to see an attorney. I have a referral handy. He will speak to me initially without a retainer, so that is good.
Again, I am still in limbo because I don't have much in the way of details. That first night all I could do was weep. Now that I am a tiny bit less emotional and have been on this site and done a little reading, I have my list of questions and my demands ready.
I know this will be hard, but the NOT knowing is making it harder.