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Skan (original poster member #35812) posted at 10:12 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
I had been thinking about this for some time so, a couple of weeks ago, when we were at my cousin’s huge wedding reception, I pulled my FWH off to the side and said to him, that I would like to have (and was ready for) a recommitment ceremony with him and what did he think? He said, today? (which is what I said, but in a slightly more harassed tone, when he first proposed to me in the middle of a crazy event that I was running at the time) We agreed that we would set up a time to discuss it when we got back, and earlier last week, we set the time as last Friday. I asked him to think about what he wanted, what he didn’t want, and what things were an absolute need, vice a want. We tossed a few ideas back and forth and also sat down and did a written discussion about why we wanted to have this ceremony and how that made us feel.
Friday, we opened a bottle of wine, sat next to each other, and talked. It came out that we both wanted a very small, intimate, ceremony, possibly only with the officient, since we felt that we would need to disclose why we were choosing to have this ceremony on a non-significant date and on a non-significant “wedding” year. We both wanted to be on or near the water. We knew what date we would celebrate our new anniversary, but we felt no need to hurry things up so that our ceremony actually fell on that date. We both wanted our MC to officiate he is a Methodist minister. FWH wanted a trip as well, however looking at vacation, he doesn’t have enough during this first year at a new company. So we decided at our 5 year anniversary, which would also be our 25 year antiversary, we would have a bigger, official celebration with friends and family, and we would start saving for that trip to one of three places we’ve always wanted to go to. Also, there were two things that I asked of him. The first, was for a proposal. I wanted him to think about what and why, and propose to me that we begin this second trip together. The second was that we go out and look for and purchase, rings together. He agreed, and then, gods, I can’t remember it all, he went down on his knees next to me, held my hands, and just poured out his heart about how sorry he was, how much he loved me, how special I was, how wonderful our love was, and how much he looked forward to spending the rest of his life with me. And then added, “BTW, this is NOT your proposal!”
Dang, I’m getting all misty-eyed thinking about it. My heart feels really full right now.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
kiki1 ( member #37184) posted at 10:19 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Good for you Skan!
I hope this time around is fantastic for you!!!
hugs,,,,,,,,
RomanticInnocenc ( member #43041) posted at 10:19 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
That's beautiful! I'm so glad the two of you have arrived at this place. Gives me hope that it could be my future too!
Me: BS 34 WH: 32 (theseseatsRtaken)
DS1: 3 DS2: 1 DS3: 2 months
T 13 years, M 5
DD1: 8/1/2014 DD2: 10/1/2014
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you!" H. Jackson Brown
Morhurt ( member #40166) posted at 10:22 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
You brought tears to my eyes. :)
Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.
OnAnIsland ( member #34319) posted at 10:38 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013
Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful sons
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou
confused615 ( member #30826) posted at 10:42 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
LOVE this.
BS(me)44
FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 11:30 PM on Monday, April 14th, 2014
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
ILINIA ( member #39836) posted at 12:35 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 1:45 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
What a wonderful post. I am so glad to read such a positive story. May your joy continue to overflow. Thanks for posting and giving us all hope.
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
beautytoashes5 ( member #41900) posted at 2:21 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Thanks for sharing. So beautiful! Inspiring! Hopeful!
LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 2:28 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
That is wonderful. Thanks for sharing that, Skan.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:31 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Sheesh, you had to go and make me cry, Skan? 
So happy for you. You and FWH.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
AML04 ( member #39682) posted at 2:53 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Love this!! I hope we get there some day. Thank you so much for sharing.
Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R
918Mama ( member #37756) posted at 9:59 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Love this!!!! Yay for happy and full hearts!
Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 10:35 AM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Beautiful!
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:28 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Wonderful, now aren't you glad you played the hard ass a few times early on?
Congrats. Enjoy your new beginning.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:56 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
I'm divorced, cynical, and battle hardened. Your post made me cry for you. 
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
SeaBillowsRoll ( new member #42460) posted at 4:49 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
There is hope! Congratulations on prayers answered!
Me-BS 53 Him-WS 55
M-32 yrs
D Day Oct 18, 2012 3 Yr LTA
It is well with my soul
Reconciling
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:55 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
I just love it, Skan. It's so wonderful that you both have grown together like this. I'm sure you will have a beautiful ceremony.
(((Skan & Mr.Skan)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
NoGoodUsername ( member #40181) posted at 5:27 PM on Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Go on and make me cry, why don't you?
Good for you guys. That is happy news.
Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."
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