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WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 9:37 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Today I was cleaning out a file cabinet and found this. It was written in about February of "05 and was to my now ex. It sounds dramatic--but that's the way I felt at the time.
Please do not bother giving me anything for my birthday You have given me so much since September 12th anyway.
You have given me the ability to see that you are a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, and very deceitful.
You have given me the ability to see that I can never trust you again.
You have given me the ability to see the that you are morally flawed.
You have given me the ability to see how truly selfish you are.
You have given me the ability to see that you really don't care about me.
You have given me the ability to feel pain and heartache that I did not deserve.
You have given me the ability to see that 34 years of being together means nothing to you.
You have given me the ability to see that that you would rather divorce me than to face reality and work it out or face your own demons.
But most of all--you have given me the ability to see who you really are. And that may be the best gift of all. I can't thank you enough.
Don't know if this will help anyone--but I hope so.
whg 
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 9:45 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
I don't feel it is dramatic, WHG. It sounds very rational and logical. Thanks for sharing.
p.s. I do understand how looking back on your past writings/posts can seem a bit dramatic. I know I feel that way sometimes when I look back at something I wrote. But I realize, at the time, that is how I felt.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 9:49 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Sister,
I never thought I would find this today. It just happened. Actually it kind of messed with my head.
whg
[This message edited by WarehouseGuy at 3:52 PM, May 14th (Wednesday)]
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 9:50 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Dramatic? Not to me, I still feel all of that. I look forward to the day when it seems dramatic.
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
WHG, I always thought you were some young whippersnapper. I hadn't realized you had been married for 34 years! (or together for 34 years) I was really shocked at that line. 
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 10:00 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
I'm far from a young whippersnapper SisterM. 59 yrs old is not a spring chicken 
I'm just hoping that this just might help someone else in some way.
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 10:08 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
59 yrs old is not a spring chicken
Hey, wait a minute, I resemble that remark!
I am sure your post will help someone to see their situation in yours.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
needfriendshere ( member #43350) posted at 10:13 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
It's not dramatic. It's really good. And honest. I have days when I write things down too - not as eloquently as you, I'm afraid. But I am keeping them in a folder, hoping that someday I can tear them up because I will no longer feel that way. Do you still feel those things after 9 years?
Me: early 50'sWH: early 50'sMarried: 23 yearsDS: 21 years oldOther DS: 18 years oldD-day: 2/14/2014H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.
WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 10:30 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
I don't feel those things anymore. It just kind of hit me today after all these years after finding it today. Kind of surprised in a way that it was even there in an old file file.
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
OakStreet ( member #41193) posted at 10:43 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
I enjoyed your post. May use it with some modifications.
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016
WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 11:07 PM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014
Oakstreet,
Use whatever you need if it works for you. I think it speaks for a lot of us here.
whg
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
somanyyears ( member #26970) posted at 12:33 AM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014
..whg...
..you were given a great gift.. the gift of sight, insight and hind-sight..
..she took your blinders off and let you see her for who she really was, although I'm sure she never wanted to let you 'see' anything..
..this new-found wisdom will protect you from her and others like her who would try to hurt and deceive you..
..I think we all got an education in what people are capable of doing to their fellow man..
..in the lyrics of The Who... "we won't get fooled again"... we hope!!!
We are better off and wiser now.. certainly hard lessons to learn in life.
Waywards can learn a lot from your old post about the true impact of their actions as seen by BS's..
..thanks for posting.
smy
trust no other human- love only your pets. Reconciled I think! Me 77 Her 74 Married 52 yrs. 18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer. Little fucker died at 57.Brain tumour!
TS68 ( member #40211) posted at 3:39 AM on Thursday, May 15th, 2014
Incredibly put whg. Hopefully you have found happiness since writing this. I know you have been a huge support to others here at SI. HER LOSS!!! She didn't deserve you.
Hugs to you from across town. You are a good man.
((((Whg))))
Me: 48
Him: 50
Married 22 years too many
DS19, DS17, DD10
Divorced
Know your worth.
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