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Off Topic :
heart broken and angry as hell at the same time

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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 11:54 PM on Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

Oh hell!

I had this whole long story typed out but decided to delete it.

Long story short...

One of my dogs stayed with XSO when I left because I could only have 2 dogs in an apartment. Oscar had health issues that needed medication and follow up vet care. XSO did not follow through but did not bother to tell me he was not compliant and whenever I asked he said Oscar was doing well.

I saw Oscar last Wednesday, he was not doing well at all. I took Oscar from XSO straight to the vet. From the best I can tell Oscar had bloody diarrhea for at least a month with no medical attention. It turned out to be intestinal cancer.

Yesterday I held my little boo boo in my arms at the vets office and wept as he crossed to the other side.

What kind of heartless, selfish person watches a 19# dog drop down to 13# and doesn't even bother to seek medical attention?

I get it, Oscar was such a good boy he never had an accident in the house, it was because XSO has doggy doors. But there is no way anyone will ever convince me that POS didn't notice the lack of appetite and extreme weight loss.

I'm just so

My emotions are all over the place today.

Thanks for letting me vent.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6822933
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 12:05 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I am so, so sorry hun. That must have been awful for you. Poor Oscar

(((Oscar & Luvbug)))

XSO can rot in hell

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6822947
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 12:33 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I just feel so guilty. I can only imagine how much pain my little boy was in, and to think it was going on for at least a month.

I'm thankful I was able to intervene and end his suffering but I'd like to string XSO up and torture him.

Hey sadcat, I'll take all those awful names you offered for XSO last month!

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6822976
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jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 1:11 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I am sorry about Oscar and I hope Karma pays a visit to your EX in a big way

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6823010
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lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 2:47 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I just feel so guilty.

Don't...you were there for him in the end, holding him as he crossed that bridge. Because of you, he won't suffer anymore. That was the most loving thing you could do for him.

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22643   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 6823108
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 3:03 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

(((oscar and luvbug)))

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6823134
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 3:04 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Me too, jjsr!

Lieshurt, I will try to move past the guilt of leaving Oscar behind and not physically checking in more often. I was so naive to trust someone I knew to be irresponsible, I just didn't think he was THAT irresponsible.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6823136
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fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 3:10 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Luvbug- I am so sorry! I just don't understand because it is heartless of your SO unless he is that clueless which means you dodged a huge bullet.

He is in a better place and I am glad you were there to comfort him. Just like people I believe animals know when you are there.

Sending a hug and grieve. Don't waste any energy on your exSO which is most likely why he is your exSO. He isn't worth it.

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2012
id 6823141
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 3:33 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Thanks for the hugs moo. Cyber hugs from SI are the best.

Fireproof, thank you for your words. You are so right, he isn't worth it. Any residual warm feelings or longing I had for him is gone. I think I can finally put him in the rear view mirror.

Oscar, on the other hand, will have a permanent place in my heart and on my bookcase with his brothers that have passed before him.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6823162
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 6:45 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I am so sorry.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6823285
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 7:11 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

((((luvbug)))) RIP Oscar. I'm so glad you were with him at the end, honey, as hard as that must have been.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6823294
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 1:06 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Thank you gonnabe and nik.

Oscar is in a better place and free from pain. As hard as it was, I'm blessed to have been the one holding him, rocking him, and comforting him. He was such a sweet dog and although he didn't live with me the last 6 months, I feel his absence and he is greatly missed.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6823434
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 1:29 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

(((luvbug0915))) (((Oscar)))

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6823468
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:48 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

(((Luvbug)))

Try not to guilt yourself. You didn't know.

Dogs have an amazing ability to deal with pain, and he may not have shown much as far as that goes, and intestinal cancer is not painful, until it is too late usually, because mammals have no pain sensors in their gut. Just stretch receptors.

There is a special place in hell for your X though. You can't be mean to animals, and not go there.

((((and strength)))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6823580
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Hannah25 ( member #42198) posted at 2:56 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

RIP Oscar...

ME: 35
WBF: 44
Together 11 years
DDay: 1/12/14
DDay2: 3/28/14

posts: 65   ·   registered: Jan. 24th, 2014   ·   location: Ohio
id 6823593
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knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 3:22 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I'm so sorry luvbug.

I'm glad you were able to be there for your boy and he felt your love while he was able to peacefully cross the bridge.

(((Luvbug)))

fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.

I edit often to fix stuff ☺️

Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.

posts: 1840   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Deep South, USA
id 6823627
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

I'm so sorry, luvbug. Being there for him at the end was the most loving thing you could do.

(((luvbug))) (((oscar)))

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 6823805
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itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 5:02 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

((((((((((luvbug)))))))))))

I'm so sorry about Oscar. But I'm so happy that in his last moments he had his mommy with him who loved him so much.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2011   ·   location: NWPA
id 6823827
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 5:53 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

((((luvbug))))

I am soo sorry

I am also soo soo angry at your x!! Not noticing or not caring when a dog loses that much body weight is negligent in the most selfish way. He lost over 1/4 of his body weight, how is it that no one in that household noticed??!!

With the type of "care" that your xso gives, I am surprised either of his kids is still alive

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
id 6823898
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kiki1 ( member #37184) posted at 6:11 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

(((luvbug and oscar)))

He's in a much better place and oh so happy now,

thanks to you.

posts: 1246   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2012   ·   location: new york
id 6823924
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