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cmego (original poster member #30346) posted at 10:50 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Kinda strange, actually. 4 years since d-day, 3+ years from S, I have a completely different life…I finally pushed the D through. I've been trying since March to finish, lots of back and forth again.
Ex finally just gave up and gave me everything I financially wanted and it was filed in court today. I hope the judge doesn't snag it since I requested spousal to be paid even if I remarry, but my L worded it so it shouldn't.
I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy either. Just, kinda…heavy. It is also, oddly, almost exactly 20 years to the day I met him, I filed for divorce. 20 years of my life, this man has fucked with me. From the moment he met me, until yesterday when he was posturing over a minor surgical procedure for ds. 20 years.
Onward.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 11:02 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
((Cmego))
Onward and upward, for sure.
While it does piss you off they they took 20 years of our lives, at least we can make something awesome from what's left.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
stungbytravel ( member #37225) posted at 11:06 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
(((CMego)))
Onward is right!
cayc ( member #21964) posted at 11:41 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
It's going to feel good having that legal tie severed. A weight off your shoulders for sure.
Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 11:50 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 12:07 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
((((cmego))))
I thought you were already D. Or I should say I assumed. I am sorry you still have this chapter of your life to close.
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine
cmego (original poster member #30346) posted at 12:26 AM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
If I didn't have two papers due by Sunday, I'd be having a drink tonight.
(My new favorite…Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon mixed with lemonade. YUM.)
Due to financial reasons, primarily COBRA cost, we've remained separated for over 3 years. But, this past 6 months I have been pulling everything apart financially. He had no motivation. I sold the car in our name and leased a new one, sold the house that had his name on it and bought one in my name only…and finally just pushed hard enough to get it done. He will have to start paying my COBRA and he isn't happy…but such is life.
Really wish I could have a drink tonight. Gotta go write a paper on the constitutionality of blah, blah, blah. Sigh. I keep procrastinating and hanging out on SI 
[This message edited by cmego at 2:33 PM, June 6th (Friday)]
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 8:03 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
Onward.
Yes. This. (((cmego)))
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 8:25 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 9:31 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
(((cmego)))
Look forward only after this point. Only time to look back is to pull up a lesson learned or a great memory!
Hope your future is a bright one moving forward!
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:39 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
((((Cmego))))) How long do you expect it to take to finalize, hon?
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 4:13 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
cmego (original poster member #30346) posted at 5:05 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Two to three weeks, it should finalize. I'm still kinda numb, but OK. I don't feel like celebrating, as much as my friends want me to. It is hard for them to understand that I never wanted the divorce, so this isn't a celebration for me. This is something I had to do.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 5:31 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
(((cmego)))
I didn't celebrate the divorce. I understand. It is a necessary step. I hope that it frees you to move "onward" in the ways you want to. It is symbolic at this point, but a powerful piece of symbolism.
Paper writing mojo!
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
itainteasy ( member #31094) posted at 5:42 PM on Saturday, June 7th, 2014
((cmego))
A hard step to take, but a necessary one. Your story is one that broke my heart in a million pieces.
You are truly an inspiration. You have handled yourself with grace and dignity in the most painful and harsh circumstances.
I wish you the very best in this next chapter of your life.
How are your kids? Do they know you filed? I know they have held out hope that you and their dad could get back together.
You're in my thoughts.
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