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littlefoggy (original poster member #41429) posted at 3:45 AM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
So, where is your husband?
I dunno... with his girlfriend? 
I have been asked this question by at least 3 different people while out and about with DD. I think at least one was trying to do the "is she attached?" (not-so) subtle question. But OMG is that freaking awkward?
Way to assume, guys. I am never going to figure out this new world order.
I reply "No... no husband" and hold up my un-ringed left hand.
I wear NO rings on any finger. No mistakes. Just do a (not-so) subtle glance at my left hand. I don't mind.
But please, for the love of God, don't make me answer awkward questions about my kid's sperm contributor.
Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing
newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 6:36 AM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
I proudly say "I don't have one". 
BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13
latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 7:03 AM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
Or, as one SI member used to have in her signature-
"I dumped him because I didn't like his girlfriend."
(Maybe not in front of DD) 
Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 8:42 AM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
I get asked this a lot too. I think they think it's a cute way of asking if we are single. I don't like it either.
I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.
It illicits a rather nervous laugh.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
luv2swim ( member #13154) posted at 8:48 AM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
My answer:
"You know, I loved my husband. But honestly, I did not love his mistress. So... we are now divorced. Comprende?"
Me: BS
Him: WS
Married 24 years -
2 fantastic kids!
divorced 2009
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married and still together (as far as I know).
ImEnoughForMe ( member #41869) posted at 1:56 PM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
I've got this too. I don't know if it's a good thing for me or not, but my ex used to "fish" for information - I got real good at recognizing it AND ignoring it. It's continued on without him.
Ask me straight out or you don't get an answer.
Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou
littlefoggy (original poster member #41429) posted at 6:27 PM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.
Maybe if I want the person to go away
I do like the ignore it unless you ask directly approach.
Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 7:38 PM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.
We think alike, SBB. I have been known to say, "Dying by the side of the road somewhere, if there is any justice."
Once this prompted a lecture on how horrible I would feel if she really did die. I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.
Seriously, they expect a warm, mature response from someone who is divorcing?
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 7:54 PM on Sunday, June 29th, 2014
"Flew de coup".
People can do what they will with the response.
Often said with baby in hand.
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 1:45 AM on Monday, June 30th, 2014
I haven't been asked this yet, so I'm taking notes for future reference.
I'd like to humbly suggest the following..
"I don't know. Where's your wife?" or "With your wife."
"Don't know, don't care."
"I invoke my 5th amendment right not to incriminate myself."
DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:45 AM on Monday, June 30th, 2014
I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.
After the nervous laughter I have been scolded for incriminating myself in case something bad does happen to him. I laughed and said I'll be suspect Número Uno no matter what I do so why not have a laugh?
I don't actually wish him death. But if it happens and magpies are involved at least he'll have an ironic death. I'd also be more careful with this superpower in future.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
Plinker77 ( new member #43901) posted at 3:20 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014
I know it's awkward. Hope it gets better.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 6:35 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014
On the positive side....at least they are checking to see if there is a husband before hitting on you.
libertyrocks ( member #38924) posted at 10:35 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014
It depends, if it's a friend I haven't seen in a while, I tell them we've been seperated. If they inquire more, I just tell them straight out. If it's his extended family, I just tell them "he's at work." haha Because there's really no difference. I used to go to all his family events without him anyways.
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 4:36 PM, June 30th (Monday)]
Me-37 Ws-37
2 kids
Dday Nov 2012, TT for a year.
Reconciling for the third time in 4 years.
PhantomLimb ( member #39668) posted at 3:37 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
I keep getting hit on by boys in their 20s for some reason. Three this week. They always say the same two things: "I didn't realize you are in your 30s" (mid-30s at that!) and then "How is it that you're not married?" 
It's the first time I've been getting that last question. It really has shocked me! All I've been able to answer is "I was. It didn't work out." That has usually been a conversation killer, thankfully.
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:43 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
PL, I am fond of rolling my eyes and saying, "Oh god, I used to be, thank GOODNESS I got rid of him!" when I get asked why I'm not married by someone whose business it's not.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
Sadmumma ( member #42192) posted at 3:51 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
I say "he's not with us any more" or "its just me and the girls"
On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 4:31 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014
I wish they would just ask.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
ManBearDivorce ( member #36258) posted at 1:11 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014
For me I think just the way you look and feel tells a lot about yourself. When I first went out I was miserable and most people assumed I was still married. Fast forward 2 years and people don't even bother to ask but assume I am single because I have a nice big smile on my stinking face!!!!
Sleepingbeauty ( member #43792) posted at 1:25 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014
This hasn't happened yet. I am still trying to tan the line and fatten my finger up so the mark doesn't show anymore. Twenty+years has left a definite mark.
I am looking forward to the first one who asks that question. Still have to think of the answer bu may keep some of these in mind.
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