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MultiplePain (original poster member #54608) posted at 12:58 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
This poetry may seem negative... but is one of the best ways I have found to cope..... originally wrote this around the 1 year antiversary in 2016... I HAVE COME SO FAR from this person most days....
The Deafening Silence
Silence is golden
Or so it is said
Silence is golden
But not in my head
Silence is killing
Me slowly it seems
Silence is killing me
Along with my dreams
Silence is cutting
As deep as a knife
Silence will kill me
Without all the strife
Talking and sharing
Is all that I crave
Talking and sharing
Is all that might save
Save this mess
That my mind has become
Save me from being
Nothing but numb
ETA.... MORE
9/20/16
More of the Silence
I sit alone and can't cope
More of the Silence
Doesn't leave me much hope
Watching the progress
Steps forward, steps back
Watching the progress
he went so far off the track
And the pain that was rendered doesn't give him much slack
Watching and wondering
and filled with despair
Watching and wondering
Are we beyond all repair?
[This message edited by MultiplePain at 6:59 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
BS:46
STBXSAWH:41 (lostinthewoods12)
3 kids,2 angel babies
3 PAs, Too many OEAP (with Sexting) to count... from 2011-17
long version in my profile
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 1:42 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
MultiplePain (original poster member #54608) posted at 1:58 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
DEC 2017
I just can't do it
I can no longer see
the person I loved
that person
Who was me
she died,
she is gone....
She tries to fight her way out of the pain and despair
but most days now she doesn't even care
not about anything
there's no love,
no joy,
NO HOPE.
How can anyone expect her to cope?
NO HOPE
just dead.... that's what she wishes...DEATH.....
it would make her pain go away, but she can't give That pain to those she holds dear
Because deep down inside she still loves, her children, her parents, and friends that are true.
the PAIN ... The pain is so strong
It is dragging her down like an alligator pulling her toward death
She's Kicking and Screaming deep in her head
but maybe to others
she's already dead?
The person they loved
The person who loved
she is gone
Gone
GONE
and so f****** tired
tired of the lies
the lie that is love
the lie that is marriage
the lie that anyone cares whether she lives or dies
BS:46
STBXSAWH:41 (lostinthewoods12)
3 kids,2 angel babies
3 PAs, Too many OEAP (with Sexting) to count... from 2011-17
long version in my profile
MultiplePain (original poster member #54608) posted at 2:07 AM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
April 2018...
Hope is a blessing
Hope is a curse
Hope makes you see
That things could be worse
Shouldn't hope heal?
And show us potential?
Shouldn't hope feel
Like we aren't Inconsequential?
Hope may just kill me
As I sit here and wonder
Hope may just be
What sends me deep under
My love feels so foolish
And yet I still cope
My love I still cherish
You have killed most my Hope
Loving feels stupid
Loving feels wrong
Why did I ever
Think it made me feel strong?
It has made me so weak
And scared and afraid
I am such a mess
There's nothing left here to save
I sit here and sob
As he lies there and snores
I'm drowning in pain
And he only seems bored
[This message edited by MultiplePain at 8:08 PM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
BS:46
STBXSAWH:41 (lostinthewoods12)
3 kids,2 angel babies
3 PAs, Too many OEAP (with Sexting) to count... from 2011-17
long version in my profile
Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 12:06 PM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
Thank you for sharing. I can relate to your words. Some of it hit so close that I teared up. Somedays I wonder if this will ever be completely behind me.
Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:03 PM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
Wow .... I usually don't get poems, but I think I get these. Therapeutic for you, and for at least some readers, including me.
(signed) sisoon, who may be too prosaic
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 6:53 PM on Thursday, May 2nd, 2019
Wow! Well done. So relate-able. I feel the raw pain coming through.
Good for you that you have found such a wonderful outlet for you. And such an empowering one. I thank you for sharing.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
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