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Babette2008 (original poster member #69126) posted at 1:58 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
I see alot of SAH BSs here, or folks who don't have alot of financial experience or confidence and financial concerns/fears seem to be driving alot of fears about what to do. I know that there is alot of collective wisdom here so I thought folks could share financial tips, resources and ideas to help others.
My first one:
If you haven't, establish a credit history in your own name, independent of your spouse. Get your own credit card, make some charges on it and pay it off. A good credit history will help you when you want to rent an apartment or buy a house or a car.
Marie2792 ( member #44958) posted at 2:41 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
I haven’t needed this but many BS’ take half the value of all bank accounts and move it to a separate account in their name only. Move your direct deposit paycheck into the new account also if it is currently going into a a joint marital account.
Me: BS,48 (41 at dday)Him: WS, 56 (49 at dday)Married 27 years, together 30 Dday : 9/9/14 3 week PA
Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 3:00 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
Work to pay off debt so you don’t have it hanging over your head if you decide to leave.
Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:09 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
These are all great tips.
I think every person needs to have “safety money” just in case.
I had the pleasure 
of my H telling me he wanted a D and was pretty much planning on leaving shortly after that.
I had no money - not enough to pay the mortgage or expenses for one month. That will never happen again!
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Babette2008 (original poster member #69126) posted at 3:50 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
My workplace allows me to allocate my paycheck to up to 3 bank accounts, I now send a fixed amount to our joint household account and all the rest goes to my retirement account and a personal account. This way I have more control over savings, but still send an adequate amount to cover reasonable household expenses.
realitybites ( member #6908) posted at 7:58 PM on Sunday, June 2nd, 2019
Open up a savings account in your name only, whether it is a local credit union or something thru your work or even if you open up something online, do it for you. Start slow if need be, put $20 one week and maybe $15 the next, have it auto taken out of your check if you feel it is hard for you to physically do it, but just start something that is just in your name. It might not seem like much at first but it will slowly build up while you are undecided about what you want to do. It does not hurt and is there for a rainy day.
Stop expecting loyalty from people who cannot even give you honesty.
He stopped being my husband the first time he cheated. It took me awhile to understand that I was no longer his wife.
NEPAlady ( new member #66411) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, June 6th, 2019
When you open any account, don’t forget to opt out of having the statements sent to your home.
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