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J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 5:18 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
Something that my moms IC told her many years ago after my brothers death was to always have something on the calender for you to look forward to. My mom still does this to this day after 21 years. It's something I have adopted as well. It can be something small if finances are not available at the time or something big when and if they are. Like tonight I'm taking my kids and nephew to a baseball game (Go Giants!!). It's something we all enjoy and another great memory. Going camping is one of my favorite things to do, so I have reservations for a handful of camping trips. We go on hikes when the money isn't there. Movies for Father's Day or go to the beach with the kids? My point being it's nice to have things on my calender besides lawyer meetings and IC appts! My buddy told me in the beginning of this mess to do things that J707 wants to do, what does J707 want?
It took me awhile to get out of isolation but like many of the vets here told me from the start, It does get better! Day by day. I still think about her A everyday but I don't let it consume me like it did before. Part of it was making plans to move on in my life. The hell with her and whatever she is doing because I'm doing what I want to and enjoying all the things that I like. So if your feeling stuck, I know I was, bust out that calender and start making plans. Big or small it doesn't matter. Be you and find yourself, I'm still trying to but I'll be damned if I'll let her cheating get the best of me because I got a lot to give, so do you!
JSS1227 ( member #70150) posted at 5:43 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
Great advice J707! I’m having a really “down” day (week? Month maybe?) so I’m going to take your advice and find something to look forward to this weekend. My weeks are usually jammed packed with work, kid activities, etc, but my IC has also told me this, that I need to get back to doing something just for me. I was great about this a few months ago, but have gotten away from it.
Me:BS Him: WS; early 40s;D-day Dec 2018
2 month EA/PA with MOW
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:44 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
Excellent and sage advice.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:45 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
I love this idea! I've been needing to get out of my rut lately! Thank you for this post!
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 6:25 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
Also as I've been emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted at certain times throughout, I also make plans to not do a damn thing for a day. Nothing but chill at home and be lazy. My body thanks me.
As I was checking my calender I remembered I got tickets for Tenacious D later on this year, one of mine and DS17 favorite bands and it will be his first! I guess Dad is gonna show him how to rock out!!
OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 6:30 PM on Friday, June 14th, 2019
What great advice, J707. I know that bad things happen and we suffer emotionally, but we also only get this one life. I want to enjoy it.
me: BS/WS h: WS/BS
Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.
Smallwonders ( member #39363) posted at 6:00 AM on Saturday, June 15th, 2019
Love how encouraging this post is. I’ve just joined a meet up group. Tomorrow is my first event! I’ve seriously thought about going camping too!
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:44 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2019
That's really good advice, J.
I'll add something else I've finally figured out: if you have trouble keeping your weight down, or if you're on a diet, it might help not to use dining out for celebrations. Just sayin'....
We celebrated Mother's Day with a movie, and that's how we'll celebrate Father's Day, too. (Sometimes I'm a very slow learner.) (Actually, today is rainy. Tomorrow may be good for biking. We celebrate Father's Day today. 
)
Finally, and man, I hope this doesn't come back to bite me ...
A Giants game! How exciting! People usually forget how much fun minor league baseball is!
(signed) Si(my blood runs Dodger blue)soon
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
J707 (original poster member #63778) posted at 6:41 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2019
Sisoon- The only diet I was on was the D diet/infidelity diet. Glad that's done and back to my normal weight finally so no problem!
Well my team won last night! They do have some rebuilding to do. I can't recall, when was the last time the Dodgers won a world series They have have been in the post season a lot but I just can't recall winning 
Half my dad's side are Dodger fans, we have fun with the rivalry! Good luck this year!
ETA: Good one on the minor league team! I was cracking up!
[This message edited by J707 at 1:01 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]
Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 6:42 PM on Saturday, June 15th, 2019
I am in the same rut. Good advice!
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