SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Posted the other day about wanting to be friends, and he cares about me and the baby. But, yesterday he said he'd call, he asked ME if he could call. No call ever came. So, I tried to call him to tell him don't waste your time anymore I am done. No answer. So I text it to him, a good paragraph. His response: "Whaaat? Slow down". Haha. So I decide to do some digging about the girl. I find her facebook finally, it was under a different name because SHES A STRIPPER. She posts millions of posts a day asking people to fuck her, posting about people trying to get back with her, many explicit memes about sex and other stuff. She posts a picture about BDSM, the picture is making fun a BDSM newbie someone who doesn't know how to do it, and she captions it, "I know this guy, he's 28, balding and has erectile dysfunction". She was tlkaing about my boyfriend. First of all, he's 27 so either she doesn't know his age, or he lied. And I know it's him because he is balding and he told me in his confession that he couldn't get it up with her at times because of his guilt. This person is such a slut I don't know if all her posts are of him, but there are ones where she says people are constantly asking her back because she's a good woman. And then the next post will be about getting fucked in the ass or making someone cum. She also made a post 4 days after I found out about everything saying, "I asked God to send me a good man and he sent me a 28 yr old with 2 kids, a wife, whose balding, with erectile dysfunction". I was so filled with rage that I texted my ex and said I know everything and I said I am done, you don't get shit from me, ever again. You don't get this baby, you get fucking nothing. You're disgusting, a pervert and she's a random whore pulled off the street, literally. He's out at the bar clearly, because he sends a text at 2 am saying "Wtf". That's all he can say. Go fuck yourself you disgusting piece of shit. You are finally out of my life. And blocked. He will find out later the imstake he made Disgusting. I will never be option 2 to anyone. Especially not a prostitute/stripper/whore.

Oh my. What a mess. I am so very sorry for you.

Call your ob/gyn immediately and see if you need more tests. I am assuming you have already had standard STD test?

Post as much as you need Sweetie!

[This message edited by Odonna at 10:45 AM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

That's it. Use that anger. You've earned it. Fuck. That. Guy.

Keep posting. We are listening.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Get STD tested asap. Please take care of yourself and post all you need to. You deserve so much more. Remember that! (((BeenBetrayed5)))

It should be some consolation that she has so little respect for him. That isn't going to last.

That's it. Use that anger. You've earned it. Fuck. That. Guy.

Amen!

((((BeenBetrayed))))

Stay strong, mamma...he was just giving you bullshit lip service before. Post here when you want to contact him.

Yeah, he's gross. It's hard to believe that a person you planned to share a life with is just plain nasty, but it happens all the time.

Been there. I'm absolutely shocked that I don't have HIV.

Thanks guys!

I have been tested since I found out already. He showed me test results from his last full panel that was dated on the paper, and that he was cleared for everything too. So, we are all good on that front. She is an absolute nightmare, and this makes me feel a teensy weensy bit better. He is now texting and saying "she is a disgusting whore I want nothing to do with her", and the first one said "This is all because I didn't call you yesterday? This is what I have been afraid of our whole relationship, your hateful tendencies". now its my fault you fucked a stripper! Get the fuck out of here, little boy.

This is what I have been afraid of our whole relationship, your hateful tendencies".

Blame-shifting. He can't be an honorable man who commits himself to his children and his mate, but hey... you've got "hateful tendencies" so what else could he do?

I hope you'll remember this feeling the next time you wobble. And yeah, feeling wobbly from time to time is NORMAL. Feelings are fluid, not static, so you just ride it out until your resolve returns. Try making a list of all the reasons why this guy is no good for you, so you can whip it out next time.

I am ready to get back to myself. I used to always be laughing, smiling, generally content. I have a great sense of humor and make people laugh, and I am just ready to get back to being that girl. He's sucked out my life/spirit and I am ready to gain that back. I will be 27 on July 10th, and I am going to celebrate and stop letting him hold me back.

Should have told him he was right, had nothing to do with the A, and all of the trauma he has caused in your life. The only reason you are upset is because he missed a phone call.

I guess in his mind, that might be logical. Seeing as he thought it was logical to have the A. I really cannot relate to the way that waywards think.

Did he see the Facebook posts? My God, these people are train wrecks.

Getting back to yourself and living your best life is the greatest revenge :)

This is what I have been afraid of our whole relationship, your hateful tendencies". now its my fault you fucked a stripper! Get the fuck out of here, little boy.

This was my favorite part. I'm glad you told him to get the fuck on. The arrogance of these assholes. My WS tries to throw the 'hateful' attitude at me all the time. They can eat d**k

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:49 PM, July 3rd (Wednesday)]

He showed me test results from his last full panel that was dated on the paper, and that he was cleared for everything too.

FYI, he can't be tested for HPV. They don't have a test for that for men. Given her history, I wouldn't risk it.

Good for you! Now, focus on yourself and your baby.

I told my husband after dday, that I couldn’t respect him again because he was trying so hard to sleep with a gutter whore. He didn’t get it - couldn’t understand why that mattered - why I cared who the OW was. So I asked him how he’d feel if he found out I was trying to fuck a goat - or any other farm animal. Would he be eager to be with me? He got it.

Is your incredibly wayward husband aware of the things she’s posting on FB? Damn - I’d either tag him in her posts or send him screen shots. My god - so much for ego kibbles...he may never get it up again!!

Stay strong girl. You deserve better.

Now he’s sending me weird mysterious texts like the last one I got, “Calm Down Taylor Swift” referring to Taylor Swifts new single, “You Need to Calm Down”, he knows I love Taylor and he’s nicely trying to tell me to calm down. What a fucking moron. No response. He’s not getting a single one.

Block him. In every way.

File for child support as soon as you can.

Get a lawyer if necessary.

He’s a train wreck and you need to get off his track.

Now he’s sending me weird mysterious texts like the last one I got, “Calm Down Taylor Swift” referring to Taylor Swifts new single, “You Need to Calm Down”, he knows I love Taylor and he’s nicely trying to tell me to calm down.

This is not a "nice" way of telling you to calm down. That is passive aggressive AF. He's baiting you, hoping that if he pisses you off enough you will say something.

You are right in not responding. If you respond, you will teach him that the combination of obnoxious and persistent works to get him what he wants - your attention.

When I was in a similar position as you with my XH trying to get my attention, an SI member - phmh - told me to google "extinction burst."

I think that might be helpful to you here.

This is not a "nice" way of telling you to calm down. That is passive aggressive AF. He's baiting you, hoping that if he pisses you off enough you will say something.

^^^ I agree with the above. My WS used to like to manipulate me like that until I caught onto the game. It's a Narc's wet-dream to get you to react.