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Emotionalhell (original poster member #39902) posted at 6:42 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
I said something to wayward in regards to him working on himself and the timeline I have given him. He responded with anger. Of course to deflect and try to put things back on me. This seems to be a cycle of his then it will be followed by doing extra for me like opening doors etc.
So tired of this cycle. Time is running out. And he is to “little” to realize it.
Ugh
But this is how he responds most the time when I mention something followed by love bombing of sorts
[This message edited by Emotionalhell at 12:43 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]
Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
Anger as manipulation and love bombing to "soften the blow"
What are you going to do to break the cycle [when you are ready]?
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 7:15 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
People apply the same strategies over and over.
When the strategy fails to work, they often apply it twice as hard to push you back in to line.
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 7:55 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
ITA with Chaos. It's all manipulation.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 8:03 PM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2019
When the strategy fails to work, they often apply it twice as hard to push you back in to line.
Agree! I started to detach due to my STBX not helping me feel safe or work on himself. This led to him stonewalling, weeks of intermittent silent treatment, and withdraw from the M. Of course when I finally asked for a separation the lovebombing went into effect again. Since I'm mostly NC he will ignore then try to be happy in front of me & kids and engage me in conversations.
Once I recognized the cycle I knew I had to do something. I felt like I was dying a slow death or I was going to die if I stayed.
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 2:17 PM, November 19th (Tuesday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
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