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landclark (original poster member #70659) posted at 4:16 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
I made it through my first Christmas post dday. I definitely had my sad moments, but only one breakdown yesterday morning (over something unrelated). Things were better after that.
I feel like this year has been a blur. I feel like I’m neglecting my son. I feel like I won’t be able to reconcile after ten years of lies.
But, I made it through Christmas, and that’s something....
Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through AugustOne child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5
First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.
4yearsoflies ( new member #63772) posted at 4:26 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Congratulations! Every victory is a step towards your healing... whatever that looks like for you. I wish you all the best as you continue to work your way through the mess that was not created or made by you.
I understand. I had four years in the dark. I understand. It can get better.
Take care of yourself and your child. YOU are so important.
We’re all survivors!
Dragonfly123 ( member #62802) posted at 8:29 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Landclark well done you!!! You rocked it! One breakdown is good going!
Now you’re over the worst day, try to enjoy some holiday spirit with your boy!
You’re doing brilliantly, you matter!
When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where the power is.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:59 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
So what are your plans for the future? What are your next steps?
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Atg100 ( member #66119) posted at 9:22 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Well done.
It’s not easy and we all here know what it means
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 1:29 PM on Thursday, December 26th, 2019
Good Job! I had your thoughts last year during Christmas. I was alone, by myself without my kids for the first time ever. I woke up Christmas morning not having my kids or playing Santa. I remember staring at the wall with all the emotions just numb, screaming fuck you to the world, but I made it through to the next day.
Now a year later, let me tell you it does get better. The pain is less. The emotions aren't as intense. I have my kids here with me and my heart is whole again. You can and will survive this, we all are. The thing I love about SI is we all know the pain and suffering that comes from infidelity. You are not alone and we are here for you. Sometimes it's one day at a time. Day after day and ya know what, it's a year later. Which ever way you decide to go in your life, we'll be here you!
PSTI ( member #53103) posted at 2:38 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2019
I remember my first Christmas was a blur. ExH had left 3 days before, leaving me with a 5 year old. I think- do you realize I'm actually doing math because it's that blurry that I can't remember the number of days? It's insane.
It was so hard to grit my teeth and put on that fake smile and keep going for DS.
But you made it, and it will get better. One day at a time, just keep going and you'll figure out what is right for you.
Me: BW, my xH left me & DS after a 14 year marriage for the AP in 2014.
Happily remarried and in an open/polyamorous relationship. DH (married 5 years) & DBF (dating 4 years). Cohabitating happily all together!! <3
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