Abcd89 (original poster member #82960) posted at 9:10 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
I journaled yesterday and wrote a fair bit about chapters. It seems to have resonated as I woke up this morning and instead of thinking ‘my husbands a cheat’ I thought Part 3 and I felt positive.
Has anyone else had this thought or has anyone else found this helpful?
I’m trying to be positive. Part two ended up as a tear jerker.
Edited to change chapters to parts. Parts are more appropriate.
[This message edited by Abcd89 at 10:03 AM, Tuesday, July 15th]
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:49 AM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
I think this is part of the healing and reconciliation process.
Acceptance.
Acceptance you were betrayed.
Acceptance you have healed.
Acceptance of how you view your future.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Abcd89 (original poster member #82960) posted at 12:52 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
I am creating a music playlist including songs that are post finding out. Music is very important to me and it was tainted. I’m reclaiming my music playlists.
No idea if this will help but it feels right.
Evio ( member #85720) posted at 1:02 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
Sounds like a great idea with the music. My therapist advised me to buy a photo album and print and record photos to create new memories going forward, I'm going to try that.
Abcd89 (original poster member #82960) posted at 2:03 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
Thank you. That is also on my list. I’m massively into photos and my old albums feel tainted.
Abcd89 (original poster member #82960) posted at 2:04 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
Although they shouldn’t feel tainted as I’m true and genuine from beginning to end. Not perfect, annoying at times but I’m real and genuine. I guess I still like that about them.
Evio ( member #85720) posted at 2:16 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
My albums all feel tainted as I found out years after the affair and the AP is even in my wedding pictures (affair started after wedding but my husband has had sex with her years before we got together and never told me as she was his best mates wife).
I know I was real in the photos too and one thing's I've done is when I picture my husband getting down and dirty with the AP I picture myself at home kissing my newborn baby's face and instead of me feeling cheated on I think, I was right where I was meant to be and have the beautiful memories and photos to evidence that....HE cheated himself out of these precious family moments not me so he should feel the shame and regret looking at these photos not me.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:33 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
I have a revenge playlist 😂😂😂
Starting with Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood
Pray For You - jaron and the long road to love.
My favorite part of the Pray For You song:
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
Next favorite line: I pray all your dreams never come true
Always good for a laugh.
[This message edited by The1stWife at 9:34 PM, Tuesday, July 15th]
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Knitaknee ( member #71772) posted at 10:06 PM on Tuesday, July 15th, 2025
First Wife:
Ever hear "Look It Up" by Ashton Shepard?
[This message edited by Knitaknee at 10:06 PM, Tuesday, July 15th]
You can’t lose what you never had, you can’t keep what’s not yours, and you can’t hold on to something that does not want to stay.
