Wonderinghome (original poster new member #87063) posted at 11:58 AM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026
I made a post on just finding out. Its been a bout a week or so since then & she is basically trying to get the kids schedule to match up with th guys schedule so that she can see him more..... hurts but im honestly working on myself in al aspects but still hold on to hope that the new version of ourselves eventually meet at some point again. Would you guys question the partner and if shes using the separation to truly work on herself or would you just accept her behavior as her telling you its completely over ?
Fiance had an affair after telling she was checked out.
maise ( member #69516) posted at 12:22 PM on Wednesday, February 25th, 2026
Im so sorry you’re hurting. Holding on to hope was something I found to be very painful. The longer I held onto it the longer the pain remained. I found that letting go of hope and paying attention to people’s actions tells me a lot about who they are and where they are with themselves.
If your former partner is taking this time to pursue the AP instead of working on themselves, well, that tells me they are not focused on doing the necessary work to heal. That’s their choice. Anything you say won’t change that. They have to want to change and want to do the work. And they have to want to do it for themselves, if they do it for any other reason it won’t work.
I’m really glad to hear you’re focusing on yourself. That’s a powerful place to put your energy. The more you turn toward your own healing and growth, the more steady and grounded you’ll likely start to feel. That part is within your control.
BW (SSM) D-Day: 6/9/2018 Status: Divorced
"Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
— Rumi
