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Reconciliation :
Should I move to be with my husband after he cheated, abandoned me, and suddenly changed his mind?

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 Alicia2026 (original poster new member #87673) posted at 5:52 AM on Thursday, August 20th, 2026

My husband cheated on me with someone local, another city of my country, and abruptly left me in mid-July to go back to his home country. For more than a month, 27June, when they started the affair, I struggled with painful imagery of them together and the text messages I discovered. At first, he was extremely rude and insisted I stay away—he didn't want me coming with him anywhere and seemed to be running away from me.

I worked hard to pull myself out of that nightmare. I started focusing on my fitness, running my digital business, and rebuilding my independence. I am honestly much happier on my own now than I was taking care of everything for him.

Last night, after another argument where he was rude and I blocked him, he reached out on a different app asking me to move and stay with him. He even promised extra financial support, and because my business is fully digital, I technically could relocate.

However, I am deeply conflicted:

1. Am I just a backup option? He previously claimed he "found peace" with the other woman. Since she isn't in the UK with him, I suspect things fell apart or she moved on, leaving me as his second choice.

2. Am I just being asked back for convenience? I noticed from his search history (which he doesn't know I can see) that he has been searching for someone to cook for him. I worry he wants a housekeeper, not a partner.

3. Loss of self-respect: Jumping the moment he waves his hand feels unfair to everything I've built. If I go now, he won't cherish or respect me.

I still have feelings for him, but I'm hesitant to give up the peaceful, successful life I've created just to be on his terms again.

What are your strategic opinions on this? Should I stay focused on my own life, or is there any valid reason to consider waiting or renegotiating this relationship?

[This message edited by Alicia2026 at 5:56 AM, Thursday, August 20th]

Seeking the wisdom to build a love that outlasts the shadows, and understanding the heart of true partnership.

posts: 8   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2026   ·   location: China
id 8903304
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