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two2muchpain ( member #29306) posted at 10:17 PM on Monday, July 9th, 2012
Can someone please tell me how to email this to my husband? I don't see any prompt to click on or am I just blind? In layman terms please, I'm very technologically challenged. 
You can PM me if you prefer.
[This message edited by two2muchpain at 4:18 PM, July 9th (Monday)]
Me:49,at time of A
H: 47,at time of A
M: 23 yrs.
OW:27 at time of A
Admitted to EA and other things: 6/16/10
PA (one night stand,sexting and more: 7/15/10
S:19, SS: 30, SD: 26
R: Currently trying to work it out.
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 10:20 PM on Monday, July 9th, 2012
Since its an active thread you should be able to send him the link directly to it.
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 10:25 PM on Monday, July 9th, 2012
two2muchpain...
Please be aware that if you send him this link...your username will show up inquiring about it. So if you don't want him to know you're here or your username, I would caution on you emailing him a link.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
lynnm1947 ( member #15300) posted at 5:13 PM on Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
Copy it and paste it into an e-mail to him.
Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!
"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks
osca ( member #35628) posted at 9:29 PM on Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
... incredible letter.
I hurt so much I often am sad that I wake up still breathing, as my wish when I fall asleep never comes true.
I hurt so much that it paralyzes me from living my life, from feeling anything but the pain and the betrayal.
I hurt so much that I can't live with or without the person who has raped my soul.
Me: BS 32
Him: WS 36
Kids: 3 yr Son
Complication: Expats living abroad
Married: 03/2006, together since 2003
Dday: April 7th 2012, 6 months emotional, 3 months physical
OW: 35, his first gf, daughter of a prostitute (no really!) Apple >> Tree
remorsecode ( new member #35734) posted at 11:40 PM on Tuesday, July 10th, 2012
Thank you for posting this powerful letter. Makes my chest ache to realize how much I've hurt my wife and how she longs for my understanding of that pain - and makes me worry I am not doing enough. Which is a good thing cause it is revealing in a positive way (makes me want to fight harder for us).
I am a male WS; M 6yrs; son 3yrs; A 6 months; DD May 2012
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:59 PM on Sunday, August 12th, 2012
lostone209 ( member #36308) posted at 4:46 PM on Sunday, August 12th, 2012
Thanks for the bump. A lot of the first letter sounds very familiar to me.
me: WH 32
her: BW 29
M 9 years, together 14 years
D-Day: January 2012
LoveHerStill ( member #31504) posted at 10:08 AM on Monday, August 13th, 2012
The shattering raw searing pain was unrelenting for months and months.
I could not believe that I could feel such intense, long-lasting emotion and actually live through it.
A literal living hell for months and months. How was she capable of inflicting such excruciating pain on someone she once cared for?
I do not wish that pain on my worst enemy.
I now trust only in God.
Me BH-45 @ Dday
Her WW-44 @ Dday
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011
It only hurts when I breathe.
momxgbg ( member #35350) posted at 4:08 AM on Friday, August 17th, 2012
Bump
Dday - Jan. 22, 2012
Dday #2 - Apr. 01, 2012 (found out he was still in contact with OW...WHILE we were in MC)
married 17 years
me - bs - 38yrs
him - ws - 36yrs - EA/PA
DD - 15
DS - forever 12 - earned his angel wings 24Nov2013
DD - 10
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 6:43 AM on Thursday, October 11th, 2012
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
mindful ( member #36880) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, October 11th, 2012
Thank you so much for posting that.
For weeks I have been trying to communicate that to my H.
the A has lots its power over me and I feel really ready to heal with him its 14 months since R started.
And I have told him this.
I read both letters to him and explained their source his response was interesting.
I said I was reading them to help him understand why I have mixed days as that throws him.
He said the letters were understandable and it was understandable that I feel that.
I asked him how they made him feel.
He said 'dare I say it I think you want to see great remorse from me like you want a pint of blood from me.
So I calmly explained that I need to know he feels something in himself regarding what it did to me that means he could never do this again.
That it hurts something in him to hear those words.
He also said he knows it would be easier for me if he could show remorse so I am hoping the letters may help us.
Thank you so much for your courage.
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 12:41 AM on Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 1:24 AM on Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
bump
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
empresslingpha ( member #36687) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
I know this post has been up for a long time, but as a relatively new member this is the first time I saw it. It moved me to tears because that's exactly what I want to say to my WH. Thank you so much for posting.
Me: 29
WH: 32
Married: May 2011
DD #1: Sept 2011
Several since then
3 children (mine from previous marriage, age 8, and ours together, ages 2 years and 1 year)
Pregnant, due July 2015
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 3:20 AM on Friday, November 30th, 2012
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
She-Ra ( member #36033) posted at 8:20 PM on Monday, January 7th, 2013
another one that needed to be bumped...
Former story began here July 2012
We were mad-hatters. I was a WW first then a BS. Separated May 2017. 2 kids.
Met my new beginning May 2019 just discovered his EA Oct 2020 4 days after we bought a house
evephoebe1 ( member #36923) posted at 10:23 PM on Saturday, January 12th, 2013
This agony will stop when I draw my last breath. Only then will I find serenity.
Until then, my body painfully awakens to face another day of endless, inner mind games.
Has he cleverly taken his affair(s) underground? Is he truly remorseful or is he simply an articulate manipulator who's enjoying the power he has over me?
Why has my world crumbled so completely, leaving a bleeding gash in my soul that will never heal?
Why has my "being" my "identity" been ripped out of me so savagely, so as to leave behind a shell of my former self?
Now, I'm a person whose entire existence revolves around levels and intensity of pain that I must mask from the rest of the world.
My WH becomes impatient with my lack of progress. He cannot understand why I'm not moving forward faster.
How can I make him understand that my soul is dying? That it wants to give up its' own fight for survival because it hurts too much to face the rest of my life like this.
[This message edited by evephoebe1 at 4:25 PM, January 12th (Saturday)]
Me: Survivor! BS (47)
Him: WH (45)
2 awesome kids, 13 & 16
SandAway ( member #37775) posted at 11:25 PM on Tuesday, January 15th, 2013
another bump
fWW
BH Tred
M 19yrs
DDay Nov. 2011
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people
allouttagas ( member #26380) posted at 3:59 AM on Wednesday, January 16th, 2013
The best post I have ever read on SI. Thanks, I needed it.
BS: 44 - Me
WW: 35
Married in '98
D-Day #1: 2-20-2009
D-Day #2: 4-25-2009
D-Day #3: 6-19-2010
D-Day #4: 9-11-12
D-Day #5: 9-13-12
D-Day #6: 9-15-12
Status: Tryin to "Re-reconcile" but barely hangin on.
Children: Four total
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