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Wallets too maybe.

Yep, that is one of the things OW found so attractive in my FWH. OW wanted to step in to my life and take all that I had, including my kids as OW couldn't have any. When it found out I had cancer OW told its first ex-husband that MisterSister "needed" her. This was before the affair started but when it started its manipulations to get FWH.

This has been a big issue for me. I have gone to counceling sessions for this matter alone and I cant get over it. It hurts and my self esteem will forever br shattered.

Brief syopsis of my M.

Been with my WWF 14 years. Married 7 years. We have an 11 year old son. House, cars, careers, and so on.

Betrayal:

9 months ago was D-day. She was having an A for a year. It cobtinued for 6 months during "R". I was in limbo 7 months of hell. I moved out 2 months ago.

The issue:

Being that this thread is about penises, I mean they play a major roll in an A, I need to talk about this. Sorry.

I am exactly average size based on the million google searches I did.

I was my WWF's fist and only (that I know of) sexual partner until the A. When she was deep in the fog, she almost bragged about the OP when questioned.

She told me his was longer and thicker. She said "it felt the same". This did not make me feel better because her actions during the A and after D-day did not match.

She could not get enough sex from him. Based on their confessions to me, they screwed everywhere. Car, side of the road in bushes, u nane it. She did sexual things with him that she never did with me. Mainly oral things.

Any advice?

No advice.

I too am part of that club. You know the one where we were eachother's only sexual partners, EVER...until she gets drunk and lies down for another man when I'm out of town.

That's like the back room you never want to go into in a club you never want to belong (SI). Truthfully, there's alot of "back rooms" at club SI I'm happy to have not seen.

But I think if his prick was the size of your big toe, you still woudn't want to be part of this club.

It does sound like you're doing what's best for you. Take care.

You know I'm not sure if he "competed" with me in those areas as a man. Yes it crossed my mind initially I must say and I did say something to my WW at the time asking about it (probably due to the shock and pain at the time). Not sure why I even did that. But I believe it strikes at every man's (WS) self-esteem no different than a woman's.

We all have our shortcomings (or what we perceive them to be) and just have to learn to accept them. The woman I've been seeing in this time recently got breast implants (no I did not pay for them!) and frankly I told her straight out that I really didn't think she needed them and I meant it. She was growing older gracefully and I was 100% fine with the way she was. But she had been saving for it for a long time before I even met her and I guess she felt the time was right. In talking to her about it I can see her insecurities. She seemed upset afterwards that I didn't "like" them so much. Yes a lot of men think they are great and fun I guess. But I see it as more of a turnoff sometimes. I can't explain it. I guess just knowing they aren't real and that someone's been playing around there with scalpels or something (yeah I could never be a doctor for sure). Maybe I'm just getting older and could care less about those things. But one thing I did tell her was I know many women can change after having that done. They might get more self confidence (and not the good kind either) and begin flirting with more men, etc. I told her that if I even sense that going on I would be out of here in two seconds. Anyhow after all the pain and complications she went through I would never go through that as a woman. I don't see where it's worth it. Sometimes I think a woman's concern over her breasts are their version of men's concern over their junk.

Size mattered in my situation.

His dick was definitely bigger than mine.

But Im ok with that.

Sometimes I think a woman's concern over her breasts are their version of men's concern over their junk.

Maybe… some of us are pretty concerned about our junk too! Maybe it's a well-kept secret because boobies are somehow more acceptable to talk about? No idea...

[This message edited by silverhopes at 1:21 PM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

I've been lurking and laughing here!

My two cents. These discussions often came up with girlfriends. Most said size doesn't matter, to include me. Once in a great while, there was that really odd woman that actually got off on getting an anaconda. But those women were rare.

My STBXH is the biggest I've ever been with. It was a turn off and we almost didn't get to homebase because of it.

There was one man that was bigger. Boy did he teach me to do a quick size check before disrobing. I was young and relatively inexperienced. He was gorgeous, tall, built like a Greek god. We had about 3 dates, he was on fire hot, and we were both shedding clothes as fast as we could. And......wait for it....

Then he showed me his monty python. I remember squeeking, not quite a shriek.

I grabbed my clothes, was only in panties, and ran out the door down the first flight of stairs, then dressed before proceeding down the rest of the stairs and to my car.

The best physical, no emotions attached, sex I ever had was with a man that was probably almost 2 inches smaller than my STBXH. My love for my STBXH is what made lovemaking so great. He was actually an unselfish lover in the early years.

ETA: I've been around men and their "manly" comparison conversations numerous times on those long deployments. I was usually in one of the units where the men outnumbered the females by about 40:1. So I've heard what some of those morons had to say. It always tickled me to hear the stupid ones bragging about how big they were. Size truly doesn't matter for about 98% of women, and I felt like butting into their stupid comparisons and bursting their bubbles. Should have...but then I wouldn't have gotten any comedic relief on those boring long nights after guard duty!

[This message edited by StillLivin at 2:12 PM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

Size mattered in my situation.

His dick was definitely bigger than mine.

But Im ok with that.

Oh wait, I laughed first and then I realized you might not be going for humor here. Confused, I apologize if you weren't trying to be funny.

[This message edited by lieshurt at 2:28 PM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

ETA: I've been around men and their "manly" comparison conversations numerous times on those long deployments.

I always look at those like poop conversations. Just stupid banter. Granted, it was especially brutal to realize I was engaged in joking stuff with the OM for so long.

What's the female equivalent of that, anyway? I can't imagine it's shit like "Well MY vag is so tight, yoda couldn't crack that shit with a force wave!" or anything.

Once in a great while, there was that really odd woman that actually got off on getting an anaconda.

Release the Kraken!

What's the female equivalent of that, anyway? I can't imagine it's shit like "Well MY vag is so tight, yoda couldn't crack that shit with a force wave!" or anything.

Not quite so hilarious!

Release the Kraken!

OMGoodness you guys are so funny!

Ok t/j here. One of the DUMBEST conversation I've been privy to overhear. The male soldiers were asking me and one other female, if it was true that if a woman took a bath in milk, that her va jay jay would tighten like a virgin? These were all married men in their late 20s and early 30s!

..

..let's face it.... if the woman can't or won't take it in, then it's TOO BIG..

..wherever you think you'd like to put it!

..smy

If some posters are determined to think that their WW obsession with big penises was the key factor in the affair then I don’t think anything we can say or do will help with that. It is a bit strange though that as a rule BH don’t believe a word that the WW says – other than those that relate positively to the OM sexual performance…

Interesting note:

There is little (if any) correlation with body size and penis size. So a shorter man is more likely to have a proportionally larger penis than a taller man – despite the chances of both appendages being average in size (that’s why it’s called average). I suggest that those obsessed with worries about being inadequately hung take a look at male porn-stars and compare their height to things like doors, furniture and even the female “co-star”. A typical porn studio might be confused for a casting for Snowwhite and the Seven Dwarfs.

That's the thing, I'm not saying penis size was the key factor for the A. I do believe that it might have been one factor in keeping WSO going back for more and more.

Also, I doubt he was really that big...WSO just said he was a little bigger than me, but I was thicker. I've never had an issue with my size before this. I have a perfectly normal, good looking and functional penis. Have had plenty of sexual experience with the ladies through my life...with no complaints. On the contrary a lot of women have told me I am the best lover they've had, even after having other partners. I am basically bang on the average at 6 inches.

WSO also told me OM had a bent penis, which didn't look the best and made it feel a little weird during intercourse. Whereas mine is nice and straight with a natural penis curve upwards. Text book penis I guess.

The thought that kills me though is...maybe his one could touch her in ways that mine physically can't? Reaching better feeling places inside her?

[This message edited by Jesu at 7:38 PM, January 7th (Tuesday)]

Do u really believe she went back because of the size of his penis?

As a BS, it's hard to know what to believe. Is it totally outside the realm of possibility though? It certainly could have been a contributing factor to her continued desire for him. WSO lusted after him for years after the A, refusing a sexual relationship with me, dreaming of being on the other side of the world with him again. Plus she certainly spoke and has spoken very complimentary regarding his penis size and how good it felt for her.

Either way, the A lasted barely a week, and they had sex basically every day multiple times a day, and he was a complete stranger when she met him. There must have been something about him keeping her going back for more.

The last time she saw him she gave him a blowjob in his car at the airport, before flying home to lie to me, and not be sexual with me. She wanted to be back there with him, and his penis,

Do u really believe that if he had a small one, she wouldn't have gone back at all?

Who knows? The fact is that he didn't have a small one. There's no use in discussing the hypothetical. Let's stick to the facts.

I give up!

So Jesu;

If your suicidal, SA, abusive BPD GF tells you she‘s over OM you don‘t believe her.

If your suicidal, SA, abusive BPD GF tells you OM has a bigger penis you believe her.

Since you insist on sticking to “facts” then do you have anything other than WGF words that OM was bigger. And sticking to facts; did she do a precise measurement on OM and of you for comparison or do you simply have her WORDS that OM was bigger?

Frankly Jesu I doubt I have seen a case here on SI where the quote I use in my tag-line is more apt.

[BTW – I have a rep for being rather direct. I just truly feel that WE – the BS – need to really pick up our act in order to recover. IMHO you seem to be focusing on issues that keep you in infidelity rather than working with FACTS to get out of infidelity – with or without your GF]

Yup! x2

It seems like a lot of discussion to just come around to the obvious: that everybody's different, and like everything else in this world size matters to some and not others. Makes sense to me. I've known women who made an incredibly big deal about it, no pun intended (I was once at a work outting where everyone was trashed and one of the male nurses flashed his enormous parts, and one of the girls in our groups response was something like "I must experience this"...and so far as she implied to us later, she did)...just as the majority out there tend to consider it fairly unimportant. It doesn't seem any different from the fact that some people love Indian food and others hat it, or that my best gal pal insists that she has the best O's when her guy is in her butt...which truly seems insane to me.

Like I said in my other post, everybody's anatomy is different. Not every woman's clitoris has the same sensitivity to it, and I dated one guy who couldn't stand getting oral sex because the underside of his penis was so sensitive that it was unpleasant. Size didn't make a huge difference to me the way my body sat before...since my C-section, that's changed. Why we attack any of these questions like there should be a universal answer is beyond me.