SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am in a similar situation . But I am even more messed up . I am feeling like such an idiot . I have been in a relationship with a guy since 2010. It was a very intense intimate relationship considering that we lived 80 miles apart but saw each other every week.he had a very sordid past of reck less cheating but when I met him he was upfront and remorseful and I assumed that he learned his lesson and would do better.we had a good few yrs . But last yr I found out he slept with a ts hooker off of craigslist . I found out by accidentally stumbling on his phone and assumed it was a woman but he came confessed and told me the whole truth . Or as much as he could. How he likes to bottom and be a sub for pre op functional ts women . He made all the right moves , claimed he had done it before he met me but after he met that was the only time.he apologized profusely and said he would commit to rebuilding our relationship.

I tried to make it work for the past yr , but this yr since march my gut instinct was screaming that something we wrong . Being a tech savvy person , I snooped into his heavily guarded phone and found a whole shit load of stuff. He has been meeting random craigslist guys for sexual hook ups, having threesomes with guys or full on bisexual threesomes with other couples . I am not really heartbroken at this point as that was taken care of last yr . But I am just so confused. The relationship is over . I am 3 days post no contact . But I have so many questions . We weren't married , weren't living together , were 2 states apart , no kids or properties in common . He could ve just ended things with me and done as he pleases . Why did he try to have both ? He was pretending to be a loving boyfriend while he spent every moment not spent with me either setting his legion of f buddies or visiting them . Does a predilection for ts escorts automatically mean he is fully into gay sex?why?

Does a predilection for ts escorts automatically mean he is fully into gay sex?

Does it matter if he is fully gay? This guy was sneaking around, having sex with STRANGERS while still having a relationship with you. That is the problem.

Even after you caught him, he lied, he said he wasn't doing it anymore, and then you found him doing it again. All that in less than a year.

Get tested for STDs.

Does it matter if he is fully gay?

It does when you are the BW in this kind of situation. Because, if he is gay, it means there is no hope of R..it means the relationship was a lie from the beginning..it means she never really knew him.

Hi Lucy72. Welcome. You are not the only person dealing with..all of that. If you will start your own thread, you will get more responses. Also, there is a thread in the ICR forum for BS's who have a WS that had an affair..or cheated..with a same gender AP. Im one of them...so I understand where you are coming from. have you been tested for STD's yet?

So it makes it a better chance at R that he was lying for at least a year if he was lying for women? Then when she discovered it the first time, he lied and hid it more.

No. I don't think it matters whether someone is gay, straight, bisexual or anything else. What matters is their ability to harm those they profess to love and cherish. We all feel like we didn't know our partner when it comes to infidelity.

This guy is a cheat and liar whether it is with women, men, transexuals, or both.

So it makes it a better chance at R that he was lying for at least a year if he was lying for women?

Well...yes. There are MANY BS's here who who are dealing with WS's who have lied and cheated multiple times..and they are trying to R...or have R'd with their WS. However...if you have a WS who has lied about their sexual orientation, and is gay, then that pretty much puts an end to any possibility of R.

don't think it matters whether someone is gay, straight, bisexual or anything else.

It may not matter to YOU..but to a BW in this particular situation..it usually does.

What matters is their ability to harm those they profess to love and cherish. We all feel like we didn't know our partner when it comes to infidelity.

This I agree with.

However...when you find out your spouse has been having a same sex affair, it adds a whole other layer to the shit sandwich. There are questions that have to be asked that don't come up in a typical affair situation. The same can be said for all affairs, of course.

This guy is a cheat and liar whether it is with women, men, transexuals, or both.

Agreed. Cheating is cheating. It all hurts the same.

Hi, i'd like to ask for an advice from you if how have you handled this problem. I see that you posted it on april. My bf, i know we are not married, but we are planning to have kids already (adopt, since i cant bear i child and he has accepted that) and right now, marriage is not a good option for a status (i am being petitioned by my fam so i have to stay legally single). We love eavh other dearly and he even left his state to be with in another. The genuine love is undoubtful. But like you, im in a similar situation. He had a huge fight and it was the first time i didnt calm him down, he has a bit of adhd, so he left for the night. I checked the phone bill and seems like he met up with a tranny hooker. Boils down i confronted him about it amd of course he denied. He insists he never cheated on me and i hurt him first (i did started the fight). Even with evidence of unused 3 condoms in his pocket he still denied. He said he wants to break up with me for fighting with him and i said, ok, we're done, so just tell me if you did. Denial again. He is ukrainian/russian and their cultured are known to be extremely homophobics, maybe thus the fear to be ridiculed. Basically now, he has again like always, showed me live and affection, and he has noticed me so stress recently, no appetite. He keeps begging me not to stress that he never cheated with a man or a woman. I know what i want to do. I forgave hum, but the forget part is killing me. Its has only been days since it happened. He even has seen me read articles like these. He just tells me, please babe stop this i did not cheat and everything is goingvto be ok with us.

I am sorry for rambling on. My proofs were the call log coincided to the time he was dropped off by uber at the tranny's place. And i googled the number, it really is a tranny. Andbi texted with him/her and asked for the address. He went down a few houses away. I am not totally shocked for it to be a tranny. I saw a few tranny porn before and he said it was just a pop up. He watches normal porn too. I was just shocked he did go meet one. I mean im not a prude, id watch 2 guys 1 girl or a little rough sex porn but however drunk i am i kjow il never makebit to a teality.

Please help me, its hard to forgive someone of cheating if he doesnt admit to it. He had all the excuses, like he just walked alone that night.

I am not ready to let him go. If i do now i know im goingvto be close to hiring anninvestigator just to find out where he is and what he iscdoing. Our sexlife is great. He always initiates and never forces or asks for anal.

Ps. He was drunk and high on anger when he left that night. Please i need advice how to get past this. I dont believe im weak. But i still believe theres one for evryone, and i believe im the one who'll be there for him. He had serious relationships in the past and 1 even until now are friends with him, but that girl cheated on him and left him to dry.

My message is for womaninshock i hope she gets to read it. Thank you