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nidf,

Where were your kids when she fuckrd OM at your home and you caugth them on tape??

If they were sleeoing under the same roof you can use it (ask your lswyer ) to get ful custody

Before doing ANYTHING ELSE, go SEE A GOOD LAWYER and go buy a VAR!

Best wishes

Nidd,

me and WK suspected AshMAD. It had it written all over it.

I think I also said that what you discovered was only the tip of the iceberg. Now you found out it had been for months.

There is no coming back from what you discovered and you should see an attorney today or tomorrow at the latest and file for divorce.

Blow up the OM by informing his wife. I agree that the affair should be killed off even though you are getting divorced. Go on a tear and destroy both of them.

It will take a lot of courage fighting off her lies and trying to reach into your heart. Remember, mind over heart and as Hobbes said, carry a VAR just in case she tries to file false DV charges to get you out of the house.

I will PM you the name of a good national law firm

who may be able to help.

Those pics show how far gone she is and was and how disgusting she became. This is not the woman you married or she hid it very well.

5 levels of betrayal here

1) Cheating

2) In your house and bed

3) Non disclosure

4) With another married person

5) pre-meditated.

You only have two days before the weekend. Get the VAR at Walmart, see an attorney before the weekend and have papers filed next week. Don't talk to her about anything but finances and the kid. Move your $$ out of the account (at least half) and begin detaching immediately.

She will probably tell you "it's only sex'. That is cheater script and only seeks to minimize the disgusting behavior and betrayal. As wk said, sex is 90% mental and even if it was 0%,it would still be a dealbreaker for people like me and you.

Use this anger constructively. Use it to attack her legally and rid her from your life.

How many months was this going on for ? Obviously it happened multiple times in your house. Ever with the child home ?

Tell the OMW and fuck up his world too. he is a predator and she needs to know about it

and yes expose to family. I wish you hadn't broken the laptop but you need to find copies of those pictures for evidence. Remove some critical documents and valuables off site.

Does she know you are going to divorce ? How is she acting right now ?

Divorce is one of the two realistic paths out of infidelity.

Just be realistic about it. You aren’t divorcing to punish her, you are divorcing because you see a rift in your marital relationship that you don’t think is fixable.

It’s extremely unlikely that her infidelity will make her be considered an unfit mother by the court. You can spend thousands of dollars for sole custody but it’s an unrealistic demand and highly unlikely you can get it. As a rule courts go for joint custody with the parent that’s been the prime caregiver getting prime custody.

It’s more likely that infidelity could impact potential spousal support. But then – since you aren’t going to expose OM then you can’t subpoena him to confirm the infidelity. Definitely seek legal advice on how best to proceed.

Any fantasies about leaving her broke, kicking her out, taking the daughter, not providing WW with (minimal) finances etc are simply fantasy, are unrealistic and can SERIOUSLY impact you in a negative way later on in divorce. For example: kicking her out is basic domestic violence. Do that and any semi-competent divorce lawyer she might hire will have you removed from the house for domestic violence and her placed firmly in there with a restraining order on you.

Look – You have decided to divorce. Go ahead. Talk to an attorney. Try to carry on with your life in as normal a way as you can. No need to argue with your wife, no need to harass her over the infidelity, no need to be confrontational. There are processes and procedures in divorce that should ensure you both get as fair a deal as possible. You could spend thousands to try to get a couple of hundred more than she, but frankly it’s seldom if ever worth it. Just go ahead, get divorced and start detaching.

Finally: You seem fixated on her need to demean you. Well… here is a possible explanation: It’s well known that when you are doing something that’s possibly morally wrong that you dehumanize the person you are doing it to. Bullies might make a victim lick their boots, soldiers make prisoners pose in degrading positions, pictures are defaced… By saying these things about you she’s dehumanizing you because she KNOWS it’s wrong. In that sense it can be seen in a positive view.

Seek out an attorney today, please!

She compartmentalized.

^^^

This

It continues to amaze me the secrets that can live in people's minds. You have to figure that for every one that actually acts on these impulses, there are 2 or 3 that just let them go by. Fascinating. Also very sad that you married the one that does act on it.

You've got the right plan, Nidd. Just remember that it wasn't about you. She didn't do it to hurt you. She also didn't not do it in order to not hurt you, which is the real issue here. You just had a supporting role to play in her life story, and the script didn't include you finding out.

Sending strength, my friend.

[This message edited by HouseOfPlane at 7:57 AM, July 16th (Thursday)]

Nidd. Be strong. Your world was just blown up. Now, use your head. It is easy to let emotion drive. Use your mind, now; you'll be glad later you did.