When I left the serial philanderer 15 years ago, I made big changes--probably too many. If you look on the list of indicators for future mental illness, I think I had 80% of them, yet here I am, pretty sane. (I think. Feel free to disagree!)
I left the philanderer, the dream house I shared with him, the dream job that was our business together and the small city where I'd lived and worked for more than a decade. I moved to the big city (Toronto), rented a waterfront condo, started my own PR/marketing firm and completely changed my way of life. I was known as a hostess who could easily handle 50-100 people events at my house; I now had dinner parties for no more than 6 people (me included). I'd spent 12 years travelling all over the world promoting my business; for five years, I travelled no further than back to that small city to get my hair cut! Talk about pendulum swings. (I've since gradually reverted back to type somewhat. I now have 35-person-plus New Year's Day levees every two years. And I recently took a southern vacation.)
I did all the things I never had time for when I ran the business with the X:
1) Became a member of The Art Gallery of Ontario and haunted the place on weekends,
2) Did fun things with my now-grown children who now lived not far from mw.
3) Joined a dancing group. I've since had to give that up, alas, because of arthritis behind my right big toe. Excruciating. Still occasionally wear my flats and hang out at our neighbourhood pub on Friday or Saturday night, though, when they have live rock.
4)In the first year, I wrote a complete novel. And lots of poetry. Got included in a couple of anthologies.
5)Became part of the social committee of my condo building, helped plan special events, and along with another woman, provided entertainment (singing along to her guitar)at condo parties.
6) Took singing lessons after a 30-year hiatus. Subsequently nailed Patsy Cline's "Crazy" at a bar karaoke contest!
7) I went back to painting, although I still didn't allow anyone outside my family see my work until 2011. I've now had several solo shows, with two major ones upcoming in December and April.
8) Attended theatre, dance and musical events I'd never have been aware of if I'd stayed in small city.
9) Edited and wrote some copy for a coffee table book on famous Canadian chefs and their favourite recipes.
10) Started a cooking blog.
Oh yeah, leaving the X was good for me. I'd have never had such a rich life (although I'd now be globetrotting in style) because everyone's attention HAS to be on him ALL the time. Best of all, I don't have to worry about where my man is when he isn't with me. That in itself was worth the move! Does it sound like I tried to throw myself into a whack of things to keep the wobblies away? Nope. I decided to do all the things I always wanted to do but never could. I've probably forgotten to list a bunch. But....now I just turned 66 and I have to say, there aren't too many things left on my bucket list.
[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 12:59 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]
