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I have no plans on talking to her today in the slightest if anyone is interested. There is no need for us to have contact so we won't.

good, if she really want things she will keep contacting you and propose/initiate actions on her own. Regarding the contacts if your stance is steady whatever you say or do does not matter as you are standing your ground. Even some have sex when separated and the emotions are not involved

Seeking emotional support from the one who destroyed the marriage,that is strange. Something is going on as WW has no qualms about OM. whatever POS doing seems to be OK with WW. Your friend who knows about pos apartment might be able to find out. Is she coming to your place for her days off. Are you (or her) going to continue talking

[This message edited by goalong at 7:10 PM, June 6th (Tuesday)]

She is here the next two days. I'll be at the gym and then playing golf.

She is stringing you along. Other than write a letter she has done nothing. She is waiting on OM

I just received an unsolicited email from her telling me her and OM have been seeing each other a lot over the past two months. Not every time was physical. She didnt want to tell because she didnt know how I'd react and she truly wants us to work. Hahahaha

In other words living at the same place. Is she fricking f'up or what. Why does she want to R still. Done and dusted. Forward the email to OBS. Double CS for the love birds.

What a POS she is to write you that letter.Quite capable considering what she did when the baby was born. The best response is to live even better.

The POS may have convinced her that you are never going to D. So when the papers come this month every thing change. WW is going to see the consequences of her stupid non caring actions pretty soon.

Strength to you regarding this sudden throw up from WW

[This message edited by goalong at 9:31 PM, June 6th (Tuesday)]

She said she'd be willing to sit down through my attorney and do everything. I texted OBS. No response from her.

I knew it was going on so I wasn't shocked. I mean really, I'm not dumb I just play it on tv. But to write an email and say you truly want it to work out that's why I didn't want to tell you. Come on. You are having a laugh.

I'm lost. When did she cut ties with him? or did she? I'm thinking someone spotted them together so she comes up with this new bit of info.

And anyway, what is the point of this last bit? To complete the timeline? Does she think you are supposed to feel better and forgive her because they hopped into the sack only 50 to 90 % of the time they met? Even adulterers need to rest sometime.

Or is this supposed to demonstrate how truthful she is now? And when did they last meet up? An hour before she drafted the letter?

Or was this meant to be spiteful since you are not buying into R?

I swear, no matter how you interpret it, it has to be crazy making. Good luck with this. The way she is going, she will probably claim alien abduction next. Either that or that the om is really Napoleon.

It sounds like she was trying to be transparent to what she has been doing. However to tell you this instead of telling you what she is doing to try and work on the marriage without including OM shows just how delusional she is. How did she think this would help your healing? Maybe her timeline was off and that's what she was saying (TT). Who really knows what they hell the WS's are thinking or not thinking wen they try to hoover you back in? If you haven't already, don't respond to this. NC=No New Hurts

I think it's because I caught her with Google maps going his house a month or so ago. I called her out on it. She told me she just went over to talk.

The other day I asked her since she and I werent living together and he and his wife weren't was stuff still going on. She said no. Which I knew then and officially know now is not true

Even though I knew in my gut what was going on I am,just numb.

dost, it just makes it clear for you: close the door and move on at high speed. Don't linger, just move on – it's not that difficult once you really start doing it and stop engaging her. Let it go and move on.

She said she'd be willing to sit down through my attorney and do everything

Is this for D. Looks like you already responded to the email saying all done and gone.

Can this be her way of saying she does not want to proceed with R

Even if this is her genuine effort to open up why do you need to have her after so much brazen betrayals and apparently POS having enough of her (unless your history together is so good and you can empathize her going off the rail for some reason). Her some times crying may be because she knows POS is using her

[This message edited by goalong at 4:59 AM, June 7th (Wednesday)]

This is the end of her email.

I'm sure you'll want to push things through the way they are going. If your lawyer can mediate without it being a conflict of interest because he represents you then that's fine.

I don't know what else to say. You deserve so much better and I know it doesn't seem like it but I am truly sorry for the pain I caused you.

I regret everything.

I did not respond to the email. We talked briefly when she called to talk to DS and dd

With her latest email I see the situation as follows.

1. When served she finally realized that things were going to change in a way she couldn't control or didn't like.

2. She did some thinking, consulted with POSOM, and wrote the You Are the Love of My Life Letter in an attempt to fix # 1.

3. She continued to lie about not seeing POSOM while they were both out of their marital homes.

4. Finally admitted that they are continuing to see each other, but don't have sex every time they meet. As an aside, what a strange declaration, her need to make such a differentiation makes me think that every time they saw each other before it was physical. On the flip side, things are already cooling off in Rainbow Unicorn Land.

5. Somehow coming out of her fog enough to realize that her actions in #4 are inconsistent with the Letter she knows that D is inevitable and is willing to go along with your plan for it. She really thought the crumbs she threw you in that letter would make a difference, but you haven't budged so she is willing to accept that it is over.

I see that email as a gift. Now you can move forward without second thoughts as to whether you are doing the right thing or not. She clearly does not get it, despite her statement of "regret."

This might not be true but I think it's what really worries me when I see what I believe to be your...What if it's real this time moments...

I don't know all of the circumstances or if it would make a difference but right now it appears that she "abandoned" the family. This would have implications in awarding custody. This would also have big implications with her reputation (friends and family).If she were to move back in, even for a short while... You would go back to base one. She could be sending these "notes" to get back in the door and stall until OM is free. It would explain her "by the book" type letters and her lack of any real action. She admit to sleeping/seeing OM after writing you her first letter.

I think you need to reread what she says in her first email (less than a week ago) and SEE the lies. I cut down the letter to the most Hurtful promises she made and then broke.

I truly regret the things I have done both emotionally and physically. Please forgive me for continue my affair even after you asked me to stop. I promise i will not let this happen again. I will work to better myself for you,our marriage and our children. I have cut ties with OM and made him aware of that. I want to do all I can to make you feel safe again and I am aware it will be a long process.

I miss you.I miss us. I miss our family and I sincerely regret my actions that broke all of that apart. I recognize all the things you have done and the progress you have made in bettering yourself. I promise to use you as my inspiration and motivation to better myself for you.I don't know how I could have done this to you. How could I have hurt you like this?

I'm ready to show you with my actions by cutting ties, giving you everything you need to feel safe again, working to better myself to make sure this doesn't happen again.

These promises/words weren't said with an * that claimed they were only true if you immediately forgave her. She wanted you to believe them as facts. In the end her only actions have been to ... cut back on sex with OM.

[This message edited by Freeme at 8:32 AM, June 7th (Wednesday)]

I'm sure you'll want to push things through the way they are going. If your lawyer can mediate without it being a conflict of interest because he represents you then that's fine.

Take this and RUN!

Your attorney certainly can "mediate." It's called you tell your attorney what you want, he draws up papers and you give them to her to sign.

Done.

I feel shell shocked this morning. Again this is how I knew things were going to go. I really had no true thought it would go otherwise, but I am just numb and between feeling like I am going to breakdown. I was doing the dishes and rinsing a knife and not that I would ever do it because I have so much to live for and so much more in me but this fleeting thought of I don't want to hurt anymore crept in. I'm ashamed of that thought because I have two amazing kids and an amazing family and some good friends.

I've already sent an email to my attorney this morning asking advice on how to approach it. She's already been served so she knows what my terms are. There is room for flexibility in regards to what is best for the kids.

The next email from her will be let us be friends to cover her nudity in her character. Based on the abhorrence way she acted (even for a WS) there should be no friendship and Dost should proceed to get the best deal for him. He can also exploit her present guilty feelings for the same. Do it quickly before POS tell her otherwise. She is deluded to get attached so much to a POS who is neglecting a new born

[This message edited by goalong at 9:00 AM, June 7th (Wednesday)]

I feel shell shocked this morning. Again this is how I knew things were

.

Sorry if we made you to act on WW letter made it any worse.

This is like another DDay. Things will get better much faster now. Once D is completed you can let the families know actually what happened