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tired girl (original poster member #28053) posted at 6:21 PM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
Thank you Ascendant, I firmly believe that he will.
Wert thank you for your post yesterday. I read it to HL, he agreed.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 6:50 PM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
I wanted to also offer my support and hopes for healing in your relationship. (((tg)))
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
MsRukia ( member #40219) posted at 10:27 PM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
BS (34)
WS MisterP (37)
Together 14 1/2 years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly but surely finding my way.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:03 PM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
I know what is happening and am taking it day by day. I don't need to please anyone on this site with my decisions, if I am good with it, that is all that matters.
Possible T/J -
I think this is very important for all of us to note. SI, IC, and other sources can provide a lot of support, but we have to decide where we are for ourselves and make our own choices. We might as well be as comfortable as possible with our choices.
Of course, few of us put it as succinctly as TG does. 
End T/J
(((TG))) (((HL)))
[This message edited by sisoon at 5:04 PM, August 20th (Wednesday)]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 11:10 PM on Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
Ditto what Sisoon just posted based on what tiredgirl wrote.
I know what is happening and am taking it day by day. I don't need to please anyone on this site with my decisions, if I am good with it, that is all that matters.
This is so difficult - from top to bottom, side-to-side and all 'round.
Rooting for you and HL, ((tiredgirl)).
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
tired girl (original poster member #28053) posted at 12:20 AM on Thursday, August 21st, 2014
Thank you sisoon and LA.
What I can say that the last four years, this site, IC and going through this has taught me is that in times of emotional distress it is critical for me to reach out for my lifelines that I have put in place. The ones I didn't have in place before. SI is one of those. Having people immediately to talk to, give me comfort, ask me questions, help me look at it from different angles, allows my emotional self to step back. All of my friends that answered my text messages immediately, that called me. This all helped me. These were all things I didn't have before, and these were my lifelines so I could sort through what was going through my head. Everyone here that asked me a question, helped. Everyone that gave me a hug, helped. And then I was able to sort it and know what I wanted to do. It became crystal clear what my path was. For about half a day, the old me wanted to rear her head and say run, because she was scared. But my new IC has given me such great tools the past six months to deal with that, and between that and the support I had I was able to get back to the business at hand.
I don't expect this to be a walk in the park, but HL and I have some pretty good tools to work with. I am hoping that this is the last big hurdle we have to get over before things are really solid. All I can do is wait, watch, and support him. Thank you to everyone who has given me such an amazing amount of support. It has truly amazed me, I can't say that enough.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:42 AM on Thursday, August 21st, 2014
I'm so happy to read that last paragraph TG. I will be here cheering you on. You know I think the world of you!
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 3:45 PM on Thursday, August 21st, 2014
Your strong, stronger now than ever before. You will walk the correct path. You will know when you have had enough or when he wont give you enough to have a safe marriage. Your eyes are wide open, that's a good place to be. Wishing you strength, Peace and a good glass of wine.
LHAP?
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 1:02 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 4:41 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
Just thinking about you (and able to actually post as I am back on a keyboard!).
I have every faith in you. There is always time to leave, you know? All the time in the world. If I thought you were sacrificing yourself or making unhealthy choices, I'd say so. You're using the tools you've gained and are putting them to use. Why have them if you don't use them?
I posted on another thread on my spouse's epic fuck up four years out. Maybe it's a thing, eh?
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
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