SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My FWW told me repeatly that because of his size it was uncomfortable.

I'm average and she insists that I'm "just right".

Still, it's a blow to the ego that remains to this day.

brokenfyrman, fuck him. Let someone else go through life with a big dick and an empty soul - your dick has honor, and that's something he can't buy if he had all the money in the world.

You may be half the man you used to be brother, but you're still TWICE THE MAN he'll ever be.

fuck that noise.

And keep your sense of humor. I know what jj was saying above, but the "your dick has honor" line made me

I read a similar thread the other day, and that BH had a WW tryin to hurt him with a similar comment. I thought he had a great line. He said "if you wanted to hurt me, why didn't you pick something I had control over, fat a$$"

Not that I suggest such a response, but it seemed healthy for him

Female here. I can say from experience that it is not the size that matters, it is the total experience that makes sex wonderful.

I can also say that if it's too big, it hurts.

I can't believe these fwws actually told you the om were bigger or talented

IMO, that is just hurtfull. No reason for that info. I believe it is very true that size does not matter but I don't thnk most men want to hear that they are smaller.

I can also say that if it's too big, it hurts.

True.

Yes, hitbyatruck, it was very hurtful to be told he was "better" at oral. In fairness to my WW, the comment was very early while she was still foggy. Since, she has shifted her stance to acknowledge that it wasn't a great talent on his part or deficiency on mine, but rather the incorporation of the affair drug (let's call it "Shmoopitophan") that made the difference.

She has even said that had roles been reversed and I had been the OM, she would have felt the same way about my prowess. Shmoopitophan is that effective

True? Idk, but its good enough for me, I guess...

Yes, i think that drug is powerful.

The only way i can think of relating to that is thinking of your firsts with someone.

The first kiss (or more) with someone new was always overthetop exciting. I can't wrap my brain around being in an affair adding to the excitement but from what i have read that seems to be true.

bump

Female here. I can say from experience that it is not the size that matters, it is the total experience that makes sex wonderful.

I can also say that if it's too big, it hurts.

Agree totally. My H is on the small side and I like it. Much more preferable to large

Clearly his whores also liked a small one

Not trying to TH but my problem is my boobs. Mine are small and OWs were all larger: OW1 a little larger, OW2 larger still and OW3 extra large and droopy

So I know how you feel. But I tell myself I am prettier, much taller (they were all around 5' and I am 6'), slimmer, more intelligent, my boobs don't tickle my tummy and I've been FAITHFUL for 28 yrs.

Whoooooooo. Much rather be me!!!!

HUGS to all (love who you are!)

Laura

Well, I opened up this forum and my concerns to her over the weekend. I gave her my username and password (open and honest on both sides, no more secrets) we talked about everything in my posts and in my head. We have been in MC and it has helped but the talk we had over the weekend opened a flood of emotions. She got very emotional that members of SI said she was rugsweeping, she said who the hell are these people to say what I am doing, but she understood that you guys were giving advice from your experiences, that we could only use what worked for us.

Since reading my posts we have been able to talk about a whole bunch of things VERY openly, a giant weight came off my shoulders when I told her how I felt. Thanks to all of you guys for the support and advice that helped me to open up.

Since reading my posts we have been able to talk about a whole bunch of things VERY openly, a giant weight came off my shoulders when I told her how I felt.

That's great

Since she knows your username, etc already, would she be willing to join herself?

That's great news man.

I can't believe these fwws actually told you the om were bigger or talented

I was wondering about this too. It seems so cruel to say that (or OM was better at oral, etc).

Who does that?

EvenKeel: my wife only said it when I asked specific questions

WH5: I mentioned that she should join and have let her read all of the responses, baby steps, she didn't say no.

I didn't know that much about the other man and it's just been a few days but yes it haunts me too in the back of my mind. I wander and don't really want to ask i asked her if he was better and she said no, but not sure if she just sayin that because were' trying to reconcile. I'm very hurt and this is driving me crazy. so i def feel you brother. Praying for ya .

Here's a reply from out of left field, sort of.

I think you men maybe, just maybe, identify with your "package" a bit more than is necessary. My non-A related example might shed some light on this: Many, many years ago I dated this guy who was hung like a . . . well, there's nothing else to compare it to, not a horse or an elephant, not any living creature. He was huge beyond belief. I have since referred to him as "Tree Trunk." His member would just lie there on the bed beside him like a log. We didn't have much of a relationship, and I can't even really say we had sex. We just TRIED to have sex a few times. I certainly can't even say I have any fond memories of him. It was truly a nothing thing. If anything, it's just funny to me. BUT EVEN SO, my FWF can't bear to hear me refer to him. It REALLY shoots him down, "ego-wise." (Not that he's someone I talk about. Just that I've mentioned it. As I said, it's just funny to me.) Hearing that another man, another man that's been intimate with YOUR WOMAN, is well endowed can apparently wreak havoc on a man's ego.

But please don't think it's as big a deal to her as it is to you. I'm SURE it isn't.

All BS's (in my case, BF) suffer a tremendous hit to their ego and self-esteem. I got to read in his journal, "Woke up beside a beautiful woman," and "Man oh man, what a body!" Since all this crap began, I've had to go on anti-depressants, which have made me gain about 30 pounds. And the OW was 10 years younger than I am, and not a mother (if ya know what I mean).

All I can say is do what you need to to make yourself stronger and happier. As time goes on, those blows will hold less power over you.

Thank you bootstraps...

I'd like to add...

I fought with this as well for a bit...then I realized,

I was always happy with my size and body in general so why shOuld that change?

No one knows my W body like I do,no one knows how to please her like me. So I took her to the bedroom and reminded her!

Listen, most of us are married or in long term relationships. Which means most of us have had COUNTLESS escapades with our SOs. All the while fine tuning our skills. Don't lose track of that. No one is going to just show up one day and know better than you how to please your SO!

Don't compare yourself to a scumbag, just take your SO to the room,the couch,the shower,the side of the road.WHERE EVER! and remind them that THERE IS NO COMPETITION!

I think it’s a fairly normal insecurity... Let’s just say 3 of the last 4 guys she was with were of a certain ethnic origin.

What helps me is my humor and knowing I can’t change that. So, I get a nice laugh when I think that maybe as a condition of the R, I’ll ask her to go down there and spend some time pep talking and convincing my soldier how great he is... 20 minutes a day sound reasonable?

Great way to start any day!

And ethnicity don't mean shit.

There are all sizes in every ethnicity.

[This message edited by stilllovingher at 5:37 PM, April 26th (Tuesday)]