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I think its a generational thing. I do and lots of people my age and younger do.

Really? So those of us who shave have ingrown hairs and razor burn,and our vaginas aren't sexy? I don't have razor burn OR ingrown hairs. And I happen to think it looks great.

I think it's a personal preference. Shave..don't shave. But Im not going to insult the vaginas of those who don't shave. You're hairy vag might be uber-sexy..if you like it..awesome!

Oh..and @I85...you *were* warned.

[This message edited by confused615 at 10:43 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)]

DCK

Intitally it was a lot of work, but as time goes on seems to be less and less. Rarely have ingrowns. And I too suffered from Waxing. I was like I just paid to be abused? I am insane, and it didn't stay smooth much longer than the ole razor job.

Idiot- Yes we are gross. LOL

WXGF used to keep herself "trim" for me, even shaved completely sometimes. She did this on her own and without my prompting. As soon as the A began she started waxing. Everything. We weren't having much sex at the time and i always complained about how i never got to "enjoy her handiwork". Her response was that it wasn't for me, it was for her. BULLSHIT. She had no problem letting things get wild down there during our time in limbo when she was supposedly not seeing OM. I knew the A was back on when she started shaving again. Knew for certain when she started waxing.

*TMI BELOW*

Personally, i prefer trimmed, not bald. While the occasional full shave can be a sexy surprise, the "landing strip" cut is enough for me or at the very least have it all short. My reason is that this makes things easier for me when i perform oral. Nothing ruins the mood more than going down and getting hair stuck in your teeth

I keep myself trim as well, as a curtosy. Well, that and it helps show off my package.

I would questions WH's motives in asking you to do this. Maybe he is trying to recreate some of his experiences that he had with the hookers? On the other hand, maybe this is something he always preferred but never asked? Is there some kind of middle ground? Not completely shaved but just kept tidy? Would you ever want him to do the same?

If WH really puts up a stink you can tell him that if he wants shaved pussy he better look for it elsewhere, and sign the D papers on the way out the door.

~Larry

I'm one of those who shaves and have been for many,many moons now. I did it for myself and found out the benefit being extra sensitive and just kept doing it.

As for OP he has no right to force you to do that. If it isn't your thing then tell him no. Of course I also like the suggestion of telling him he needs to shave certain areas and see how he likes it.

What about women who want a man's face to be really smooth??! The last time my face wasn't furry I was a boy- when my Mrs tells me to shave I don't think 'urgh you pervert'!!

I don't think anyone would say that because it's in a different location.

My personal opinion about men hair - I don't like facial hair or even stubble. Sure it looks sexy, but I have sensitive skin and facial hair/stubble makes my face red. I won't even get started about chest hair.

Sorry for the t/j

I won't comment on the personal state of mine right now lol, but the first thing I thought of when reading your post is agreeing with Missymomma, he sounds like a SA. The sex with prostitutes, the need to "make" you fit in with his fantasy shit, it screams SA to me. I have lived it for 20 years unfortunately.

YOU do what YOU want to, I have suffered from such extreme low self esteem since this happened, like all other BS, but I am to the point now where I know I am beautiful the way I am. God made all of us the way he intended us to be. I know how you feel. But I am of the feeling now, with my WS or any other man, if you don't like what I have then get the hell out!

I trim because I am in the pool a lot at the gym, and don't like hairs peeking out of my bathing suit. But that's all!

DCK, this is my reasoning, too.

LOL TMI ahead...

This wound up being a sore subject for us for a long while. I know my H went down on his ex(es?), and when he watched porn I'm pretty sure he was turned on by the pretty shaved kitties. I know of other guys my age who say they refuse to go down on a woman who has hair down there.

Since I happen to like that particular act A LOT, I felt pressured to either shave or trim or Nair or wax to be able to "earn" enjoying it - which was hard anyway because of the ingrown hairs, even with waxing. Learned the hard way that even with it done or any number of other changes, my H isn't interested in doing that with me, so...

Now who cares? My body. I keep it trimmed because it feels cleaner, but no more baring all.. H certainly doesn't shave, and I get at least one if not several of his hairs down my throat when I am intimate with him, and that particular act happens to be HIS favorite... Oh well. Hair is natural. It never deterred me from trying to make him happy.

Sore subject with me. Trying to detach from it. Sorry for TMI.

Mature adults in a good relationship have the "right" to ask for a lot of things sexually without censure. Lots of problems come from not even being able to ask, and worse, not knowing what is OK to ask for and what is not. How would you know if you can't ask? But, mature adult partners have the right to say Yes or No as they wish, and are comfortable with.

The problem here is once an A has entered the relationship, the rules change, including a new "right" of the BS to question the maturity of the WS, and their motives behind certain requests. And, if the WS is serious about R, a new sensitivity about this and the associated triggers is required.

FWIW, I don't like 'em bald, neither does W, but that's beside the point here.

[This message edited by MoreWould at 11:05 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)]

I85 ~

My FWH said he doesn't care for shaved pussy's. It creeps him out, would make him feel like a child molester.

I wish people would stop saying if a guy like's it it's like a paedo!!

I didn't say that. It was what my FWH said. He didn't say if you liked it shaved you where a pedophile, he said he would feel that way himself.

I couldn't care less if a women shaves or doesn't.

You're hairy vag might be uber-sexy

confused, somehow that did come off sounding insulting to all of us with "hairy vag's".

I have to clarify. My WH did not tell me to shave, he say's he perfers it, but say's it's up to me.

It wasn't meant to be insulting. But,maybe it came out wrong.

When WH stole that cell phone last January to view porn..the only searches he did were all for "hairy pussy." So,maybe Im a bit triggered? (since mine has always been shaved)I don't know.

I apologize if I offended anyone. It was not my intent. as I said,shave or don't shave,it's a personal preference.

OP, I think some waywards just want what they don't have. You dont shave yours,so he wants a shaved one.

Ok, that's different. As long as he's not saying you have to. So the decision still rests with you. If it's something your comfortable with then go for it, otherwise don't. It's your body.

After my Wxh's A's I went completely bald. I just felt so dirty that if I could have bathed in bleach, I would have.

After a few years, I went to my current small landing strip.

The guy that I'm seeing currently likes a lot of hair. I can't do that, but he's fine with it. He's smart enough to know that he shouldn't complain about the accomodations if he wants a return visit.

[This message edited by Williesmom at 11:21 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)]

Wh and I actually liked it for both of us. I still like it. It doesn't smell as bad. lol. It's your call but I can see how your ideas of it are now screwed up. It's your call. But, yes, we like it.

I had a funny and enlightening conversation with a friend recently. I was having laser hair removal done just on the bikini line and discussing other hair management options with my friend. Then she explained how she used to have the "most awesome big curly bush" that she and her husband both love and she's worried that it's gotten thinner! Very '70s centerfold, I guess, even though we're a younger generation. Anyway, it really opened my eyes to what a lot of others are saying. There's no right or wrong and not even a preferred aesthetic necessarily. Whatever feels right to you.

And that's the key. If it doesn't feel right to you, your husband should be sensitive to that. In this case, making myself similar to the AP would feel very uncomfortable.

With XWH#1 it was never a discussion and I trimmed, but never shaved. Now with WH#2 he likes it shaved. I did it completely once when we were first together as a surprise, but I was the one surprised when it started to grow back (the itching and sticking were horrible).I now keep it shaved on top, but in the area I just keep it trimmed. It's still a pain in the ass at my age. I think it is stupid, but he likes it. I never asked if OW shaved hers for him, I really didn't want the details to add to my mind movies of the A.

Well I'm 49 so I must be way over the range and into the next dimension because I like it, and yes it does make certain things more sensitive.

I'm over the looking like a prepubescent girl. I've been shaving for a little over 10 years.

Can't say it's very common in my age group but just as everyone is saying, if he's forcing you to or trying to guilt you, then he's fucked up and disrespectful.

My ex suggested MANY things that I didn't like, but tried to guilt me into them anyway.

I think if your WH wants you to look like the prostitutes he had his A with, that's horrible and you should in no way let him manipulate you into emulating his hookers. You should do only what you want to do, only what you like to see your body look like and feel like. You shouldn't feel like you need to do this to win him back, or make him want you.

As far as the state of things down below, all I can say is that I only tried going completely bare there once and it was hugely uncomfortable-I'm already so sensitive there that taking the small buffer zone away was painful in a bad way. And even with trimmed hair I've always had really good hygiene so there's no cleanliness issue to solve by shaving.