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I paid for husbands ticket to a sporting event so he could take whore on Fathers Day weekend. Also, when he started having all these out of town trainings me and our young daughters wrote notes and cookies and put them in his suitcase. My youngest cried and missed him so much and guess who he was with.

We are in this together my SI sister. I hope your H hair on his back grows back thicker 😉

I got money out of our atm for him a couple of times so he could pay for the hotel room he was going to fuck it in.

eta: also he would "model" for me and ask if he looked "fat" in something and I would say no and he would happily go off to fuck it knowing that he didn't look "fat" for OW.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:15 AM, July 29th (Monday)]

He was complaining about the dark circles under his eyes...I bought him some cream that was supposed to help with that. His circles have been even darker the past 8 months!

Reading through these posts has made me sad to think that so many of us simply loved and trusted our H and didn't question things like this....

For us it was what we did for our H and didn't in a million years think he was being such a deceitful douche bag at the time...

Don't beat yourselves up for being a good wife!! We've all learned some tough lessons...fool me once, shame on me...fool me twice NEVER!!!

HUGS to all of you....

I'm hoping to at least get Honorable Mention for this one:

While my second husband and I were temporarily separated he asked me to go Christmas shopping with him to pick out Christmas gifts for his two sisters. Red flag one: he NEVER before bought Christmas presents for his sisters, he was a Christmas card only kind of guy. Red flag two: he knew specifically which brand of perfume items he wanted to buy. I asked him, really? BOTH sisters wanted THE SAME fragrance? Red flag three: he had all of the items gift wrapped TOGETHER, even though the sisters lived in different states!

Of course, it turned out they were for OW.

But wait, there's more! For MY Christmas gift I received an obviously used (it was dirty!) gold and sapphire pendant. Where did it come from? He BOUGHT it from OW to give to me! And why did she want to sell it? Because she needed money for drugs and a new tattoo!

Oh my word, this thread is making me sick to my stomach!!

Ok, here's mine. While we were S and I was giving him time to "get his shit together" (didn't realize there was an OW at the time)... I went back and cleaned the entire house, did all the laundry, kept the boys for almost 3X longer than I should have-he stayed at her apt while I did all of that.

This thread just gives me even more resolve to file today.

How can someone who says they love you do these things?

I will never understand.

Me, too. My husband is my law partner. He took on a big research project right at the start of his affair, and was soooo busy that he needed help getting it done (read he was too busy chatting up AP to get any work done...) and he asked for my help. I nearly did help but ended up being too busy myself, so we hired help for him. But I would have helped him. How does a WS have the nerve to ask a BS to free up time so he can spend more time with his AP? Sickening!

Invited her to our shore house then tried talking him in to taking a ride with her because she wanted a break from the kids. I offered to watch them. Dumb ass!

My H is king of procrastination. He is an avid waterfowler, so he gets up at 3am a lot from the end of October through January to go hunting. We call it O'duck thirty. I on more than one occasion helped him gather his gear, and made sure he had a thermos of Hot Coffee to hunting, only to find out he was breaking NC to be with Ms. Homewrecker.

I was sick when I made this realization. I told him he would have to get his own shit together from now through the fourth of ever.

Add me to the list of back-shavers!

Because more than 6 months passed between the last incident of infidelity and my D-Day, I can't be SURE of OW3's connection to the following story, but my gut tells me I'm right:

I encouraged my WH to go out with his friend(s) in summer of 2012. Of course for all my leniency and trust I was rewarded with 3 OW in summer 2012 One weekend in July 2012, WH was rushing around getting ready, button-down, cologne, back shaved, the works. He was texting with someone; I trusted him so much that I never even asked him who. This person (OW #3, I am now certain) decided they would go to a new bar. WH asked me to find the bar's phone number and get the dress code and I did. So that neither he nor OW3 had to go out of their way.

Now I'm mad. Ugh.

(OW1 and OW3 didn't know I exist so I guess I can't blame OW3 for this; she probably thought WH was getting the info. )

There must be lots of men with back hair, because I shaved WH's back -and ears - so he would be fresh and neat for OW. Also made sure to time dinner so it would be ready when he got home late. Bjob from OW, then home-cooked meal from clueless, idiot wife. Ahhhh, that's the life.

I think I may tie you. CS had me go to the mall and help her pick out sexy dresses and clothing so she could show everyone at her high school reunion her killer body and how young she still looked. I didn't mind and didn't think anything about it. She also had me riding my bike next to her while running as she wanted to get in the best shape of her life for the 25th reunion. I wasn't at the reunion as it was in another state and I had work. Turns out the sexy clothes and killer body was for him. Sucker yes!

I think I may tie you. CS had me go to the mall and help her pick out sexy dresses and clothing so she could show everyone at her high school reunion her killer body and how young she still looked. I didn't mind and didn't think anything about it. She also had me riding my bike next to her while running as she wanted to get in the best shape of her life for the 25th reunion. I wasn't at the reunion as it was in another state and I had work. Turns out the sexy clothes and killer body was for him. Sucker yes!

WW never minds me spending time riding my bike, so when she asked to spend time with her "friend" how could I say no.

I recall one time in particular they spend the day jeeping/geocashing. I kissed her goodbye while they drove away - and fucked in that jeep!

Many of you all have me beat for sure. Happy (and not) to see so many of us back shavers out there!

Sometimes I'm convinced that asking for favors of your BS that are above and beyond,(and that benefit you and the OP) goes beyond the deceit already taking place.

It almost feels like a deliberate "screw you BS"

Floored.

This thread is a true representation of why it sucks to be a part of this club than none of us wanted to join!

My FWH would tell me how stressed he was over the out of town job - so I took on more and more of the work, handled the difficult customer, worked 12+ hours a day 6-7 days a week, plus took care of everything at home, when he came home I tried to make sure he relaxed and had a good time - little did I know the real stress was the OW - how his casual sex partner was saying she was so in love and he didn't want to hurt her feelings!!!

My husband met the OW in the park on his lunch break to fool around physically for the first time. That afternoon we had our first family photos made with our 3 month old. Every time I look at those photos I spent hundreds on I get sick!

You'll love this one.

I was sick with a terrible chest cough and a fever. Wife had a night out scheduled with a much older "safe" friend. I thought he was safe anyway.

She asked, "Do you want me to stay home?" I said, "No. You go. I'll be okay." I did that because her nights out seemed to make her happy, and I am the supportive spouse. I stayed home because I was sick and someone had to take care of our two little kids.

You know the rest.

[This message edited by ArableSands at 3:26 PM, July 29th (Monday)]

I am sad when I think about it. I helped pick out Christmas gifts for our babysitter. So thoughtful of me. I thought she was so good to our kids and splurged on some nice ones for her. Almost bought her a coach bag too. Stupid me.

Also conveniently took kids away to our condo. Giving them free time together. Let him take her to nba games instead of whole family because he couldn't take all three kids to bathroom alone and needed a girl to take our daughter.

I'm super-dumb, so I have a few!

#1: A friend (who was supposedly a virgin) and I were talking, and he ended up asking me for advice on how to initiate sex with a lady. The lady, was, of course, my wife (oh, irony... you silly little devil). I hope I gave good advice!

#2: My wife was down the the dumps. She felt unattractive and whatnot, so we spent some time and $$ getting her made up and bought some new clothes. We went out frequently and I told her how hot and awesome she was. I didn't know until later is that she was down because OM2 just left her because he felt guilty, and not long after our esteem-building exercise, she was confident enough to approach OM3.

#3: WH and I used to go to sci-fi/fantasy conventions together. He was an artist and had a gaggle of people who idolized him. He gave me permission to avoid going to his late night "art jams" because I thought his artist friends were annoying.

I went down to the conference room to dominate some dudes at Street Fighter. When a mutual friend brought up how he wouldn't be cool with his SO hanging out with art groupies, I bragged about how much I trusted him around all those adoring girls, because he "just isn't like that".

Drugs and convention hookups ahoy!

I clearly remember seeing him the next day and mentioning how awesome our relationship was because I don't need to look over his shoulder 24/7. I also won quite a few games, and I can only hope that the victory screens popped up right when he was getting down to business with some con slut. He must've thought I was pretty fucking stupid.

Goddamn I hate those fucking people.

[This message edited by DecadeCentrifuge at 3:54 PM, July 29th (Monday)]