SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

kickboxer---that's really nice!

Interesting the posts I have received from this subject because it was mentioned on one of my posts that I wanted a tattoo. No one wants a constant reminder of this time in their life. I too was cheated on. My reason for getting a tattoo is to empower myself. To do things that I feel I want to do to make myself feel good. I will never be the same after what happen and I know I will change to a much stronger version of myself whether we make it in therapy or not. I am strong... I don't want to be on a pity pot. I am also not "Tammy Wynet"...with the song stand by my Man. I have given this a time line. Right now, I have a lot of anger and will continue to do all things that will make me happy, empower me...and a "tatoo" is one of the things I have always wanted to do. It will not remind me of the pain...it will only remind me of how strong I am right now and how strong I will continue to be. It is easy to play the victim, but I refuse to do that. Life is full of wonderful things...and my life will go on! I am to work things out and want to see if we can get thru therapy and become a strong couple. If my January 1st, I do not feel that way...I am out ! Get off the pity pot everyone and empower yourself any way you see fit. Whether it be a tattoo and a martial arts class like me or something else. Just do it !!! Don't feel sorry for yourself as it will not change anything that occurred. We all have the power to do and be anything we want. What happen can change you in a positive way or a negative way. You have the power !!!!

I have 2 already. A dolphin jumping through waves on my back. I got it right after my first divorce. It symbolizes my freedom. Three yrs ago, unknown to me but during his A, he went me while I got the Florida gator fat head on my ankle. It was about my love of my home state, my love of my my favorite football team and my family that still lives there. Plus, I was pissed at him at the time and he hates the Gators. So that was an added bonus at the time. I love all my tattoos!!! I have my next on ready, just need to find the time to get it and decide where I want it. It is pretty basic. It is the words; faith, trust, love, hope and family written in cursive making up the outline of a heart with some tribal designs coming off of it. He wants one, has for yrs, but doesn't know what he wants...I'm thinking I like the idea of the band on his finger.

As for tattoos hurting. My first on I was so scared (this chic hates needles) that at first I thought I was dying. However, once I relaxed it was OK. No worse than scratches. The second one, I sat and watched the whole thing. It was pretty cool to watch and I didn't feel a thing. But I hear it depends on pain tolerance, OK...but I don't handle pain at all, and location you are having tattooed.

Am I the only one who saw this and thought of the revenge scene in Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? Make waywards tattoo their torso with "if you are seeing this I am a cheating lying rat bastard"? Please don't anyone think I'm serious. It just popped in my head when I saw the post title.

WH and I got matching tattoos shortly after D-day. It was a design that I sketched that encompasses the Chinese Longevity symbol, the Infinity sign, the Egyptian Ankh, and linked wedding rings inside of a heart. It sort of gives the impression of a tribal style tattoo and the heart itself is very subtle (so it is not girly). It's meant to symbolize the rebirth of our relationship and marriage to become eternal partners. It's meant a lot to us.

I am considering getting one now. No one that knows me would ever believe I would do it. I've been looking at various versions of the celtic maid-mother-crone symbol. It is for me and has nothing to do with X or infidelity. It's all a part of finding myself again after so many years of being a wife and mother.

My WH & I got matching tattoos after DD. I was designing my next one when I found out. I set it aside to deal with my pain. I then decided to continue with my design & have it done. It's an infinity symbol with the words Love, Life, Faith, Trust intertwined in the symbol. When I showed him my design he loved it so much he decided to join me. We have it on our chest over our hearts with both our names. To me it signified our renewed love for each other & a fresh start. A little joy in a crappy situation. I love it & have had no regrets almost 10 months into this. We're gonna do this.

It was about five days after my D-Day when I got my tattoo (probably not the best time to make such permanent decisions). On my left inside wrist, I got the sheet music for the first two bars of "Man of Constant Sorrow". I considered it to be for my grief over The Princess' cheating, and also me embracing the major depression I've suffered from for decades.

A couple months after moving out, I got one on my inside right ankle that has a treble clef and three eighth notes. Just to show how much my music has helped me to get past all this. My sister suggested that the three notes could represent my two sons and me. I like that.

Also, they just look cool!

The Princess, on the other hand, went to a piercing place with her new boyfriend and had her ear cartilage pierced. She wore it for two months through the pain before she had her mom and dad take it out for her. Turns out it was badly infected. She was poking at it that night, and sprayed the mirror with puss! When our oldest son told me about this, I couldn't have been happier. That's just a tiny bit of the rotten trying to escape from her body!

[This message edited by pass at 10:23 PM, August 8th (Thursday)]

I can't read this without thinking humorous thoughts.

Not really all that funny, but in my profession people are always talking about having "NO CPR" tattooed on their chest (nobody ever does it though).

But, after this experience and the hell it was....

All I could only think of on appropriate tattoo and that was having

"FUCK ME!"

tattooed on my chest in big block letters.

and

"NOT THE OTHER GUY"

on my back.

For awhile I was obsessed with scarification. I wanted one that looked like a wild animal had raked it's claw over my heart. Three marks...to remind myself three strikes. See, after the 1A, I did my best to follow our then MC's advice and "forgive and forget". The pain became disguised as chronic depression and I convinced myself it was just me. After all, the bad part of our M where my H thought he was in love with my friend was "just a blip that made us stronger" right? So when the pain of d-day for the 2A hit, I began remembering how much it hurt. It hurt like hell when I found an email our first year of M to some random woman "I love you @>---->-------" It nearly killed me when he told me he was in love with xOw1. I didn't want to forget if it ever happened again like I had before.

I now know I won't. Because this time I haven't buried it- as much. I am facing it bite by bite, with or without MrH. I don't need a destructive symbol to remind myself he's used all his chances and then some. Next time, I will leave- pain, desperation, love...it won't matter. I will walk away because of the scars over my heart. They don't need to be visible like I thought they should be after d-day.

For a time I wanted a cross or hopeful message on my wrist to remind myself not to slice it open; later when I started cutting to not cut.

Instead, I got a cliche. I have a simple phoenix on my left shoulder. My name IRL has a meaning that includes "fire" and was often my nickname growing up. Eventually it became a version of phoenix, even before d-day. So it was natural that's what I would get. I looked at the design I had picked, and while I prefer clean, simple tats, I wanted color too. So I added reds, oranges and yellows to the head and wings. It fits because they have a spiky, almost flame shape. The tail is curled like waves and blues and white. I didn't plan it, but to me it represents trail by fire that is quenched by the Living Water.

It's me, it's mine. I was on the other side of the country from MrH when I got it. It's not infidelity...it's my past, future and faith.

I still want another. There's an author that has a beautiful bracelet tat that reads "Redeemed" and I would love something like that. It's bad form to copy custom tats though. I want it to remind me of where my strength has come from in those moments when a voice has told me to just cut...I was unwanted anyhow. I didn't need to shed my blood. I am wanted so much, blood was already shed for me.

Given how emotional that will be, I need to make sure it's a design that I won't mind looking at when I'm 70.

After my first husband and I divorced after his incessant cheating, I got a tattoo. It is wing... kinda like a TinkerBell wing... and it says "Alis volat propriis." It's Latin for "She flies by her own wings."

I got an Infinity heart on my stomach 2 months after dday. Not because I thought I would be with H forever (although I do hope for that). But I got it because it was a permanent reminder to myself that I was forever deserving, forever worth it.

I got a tattoo to remind me of what I have learned it says love all trust a few do wrong to know one its a reminder of one I need to follow

I have always wanted one but never knew what until after Dday. 1yr after Dday I got one on the inside of my wrist. 3 birds to symbolize me and my two kids. When I'm struggling I look at it and it reminds me that I'm working to better myself and my kids. The problem tho is every time someone asks the meaning and I tell them they always say wheres the one for your H. I just smile and say that's bad luck! Maybe one day I'll add him but for now it's me and my kids!

I don't have a tattoo, however, my fWH sat with an artist and had a large tattoo done on his chest, over his heart, about 6 months post d-day. The tattoo is the yin/yang symbol, with a red/white koi (aka lipstick fish) swimming (upstream), encircling the y/y symbol.

Whenever I feel down, all I need to do is look at that beautiful piece of art. No doubt, it's been a long road to get here.... Hugs to all and wishing healing thoughts.