SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You know what pisses me off? I specifically told STBX in the beginning of our relationship that I love to fuck. I love sex. Love it! Nothing like fucking a man's brains out so he's unable to speak. Nothing like merrily spending a weekend in bed and discovering just how many times you can go to the moon & back.

But stay away from the back door and the only showers I take are by myself with hot water. Don't go there with me, don't ask me, it ain't happening.

So why in the HELL did he keep dating me??? Why marry me? Why be interested in me at all??? He knew he was a sick freak long before he met me. I have photographic proof. He knew I was not into what he was into. So why keep on with me?

Because if you had said you liked those things you would have either taken the naughty out of the verboten OR he would have had no respect for you because you would be like him.

You have hea rd it before, you can not rationalize crazy.

I am with the Scooby idea. Think you need a get together where everyone comes in and cleans/purges your house. Followed by burning sage and some sprinkling of holy water just to make you feel like it has been purified from his existence.

Hugs

Seriously? Someone would record over Elmo or Baby Einstein? People do that?

And where's the last place you would look? He could be getting off on hiding it in plain sight.

Yea, I've seen way too much.

Strength

Here's where I found some--

In our shop he had some shelves which had a small base. They were under the base.

In our home we had a cabinet for the tv which had a base which was long. I found out the base was separate from the cabinet. Moved the cabinet and there was a small open area and movies were there.

In the closet in a box.

I rented a storage building for $25.00 a month and put all that stuff there.

xso kept his split between the bedroom and garage, just in boxes. Some of them were in kid movie cases, too. Might not hurt to check those.

(((N_G)))

The door to the crawl space is accessed from the unsecured backyard. And then one day last year that door - which is very tightly fitted and never came open by itself even in 60+ mph winds - was found wide open. No explanation I could think of

I have to say this NG....I hate your life.

I think that you are an amazing person who is doing the very, very best with the hand you were dealt....but fuck. The messed up shit with your stbx NEVER ends!!!!

I would bet that those videos...if they exist....were taken with him and are not in your home.

I like the *Scooby* idea and think it would be a very well-attended g2g.

I wish I could be there with you in person, NG, that's all I can say. Everyone already named good spots to check. I hope you and the kids get far, far away from this sicko someday.

Check the top of the furnace..I found magazines there once. Check underneath all table tops,and see if anything is taped there.

But..the crawl space..that you know he put stuff in...that you refused to go into,because of the spiders..the door that was found mysteriously open. It's there. The worst of it is probably there. He knew you would never go in there. That's where my WH used to hide shit..where he thought I would never go. The furnace was in the basement..and it was scary in there..other things I found out in the garage..old garage,hole in the roof,and his traps hanging from the rafters..scary..found shit in there.

((((((NG)))))))

Your EXWH scares the crap out of me. I worry about you and your babies.

I found a box hidden in the garage. Had I not immediately thrown him out on D-day and changed all the locks, I'm sure I would not have found them.

He was FRANTIC to get into the garage and was irate that I had changed the locks. Now I know why.

Also where the door is to the opening of the attic. Just push it open and you might find more laying there in arm's reach.

why keep on with me?

C'mon now NG, you know the answer -

Because you're a rich source of supply.

I'm with gonnabe on this.

Hate your life, love the hell outta you!

When's the gtg? cuz I'm so there!

1st house. Virginia country. Crawl space. Spiders (black widows ack! tu ally) -

Got the Orkin man on it...

Could you do that?

(bang for buck imo, let a "professional" look in the icky place whilst fixin it)

NG - I'd bet dollars to donuts that crawl space door was open because he had been in there retrieving all the stuff he had hidden there.

Sending you so much strength. (((((Nature Girl)))))

(bang for buck imo, let a "professional" look in the icky place whilst fixin it)

great idea jjct has there. But I bet you anything, had your H hidden anything there, they would have been in some sort of a waterproof case right inside the entrance to the crawl space, so that they would have been within easy reach.

But I agree with nowiknow, I'm sure the door was left open because he grabbed the stuff quickly and hauled ass.

Another hiding place, (although not much room for more than something really small), is the space underneath a dining room table that has leaves in it. When you open up the table to add or remove leaves of the table, there is a little 'cubby hole' where something could be hidden. I had a friend that used to keep a very valuable gun hidden there.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 7:25 AM, August 26th (Monday)]

NG ,

I found some of XH's porn taped over the shows his dad recorded for us. Most were news programs (local) where XH had a segment. They were unmarked tapes mixed in with the kids videos.

Is freecycle.com in your area? Put a wanted add on it for a working VCR on it. You can also pic one up in a thrift store.

I like the idea of a g2g. You'll gain strength from having peeps understand what is happening.

Hugs,

K

I feel like negative nelly saying it, but I highly doubt your ex left that crawl space door open on accident or because he was in a rush. He did it to freak you out. He's too meticulous and calculating for accidents.

He's too meticulous and calculating for accidents.

Oh, absolutely. He's one the scariest people I've ever read about here.

My H had them in his tool trailer, in his closet and in a tote in the shop where his carpenter supplier were. An entire tote of magazines, nasty movies, toys, condoms, and extends pills. He was obsessed with anal also. What is up with that? I didn't know he had porn in the house, but he admitted that he took it all out of the house the night before he went to treatment because he didn't want me to find it and think he was a pervert.

I didn't know he had porn in the house, but he admitted that he took it all out of the house the night before he went to treatment because he didn't want me to find it and think he was a pervert.

This makes me and . Why, oh why, are they so ashamed of what they are???? If you don't want your spouse to freak out & divorce you because you are a pervert, then don't hide this from your spouse before he or she becomes your spouse! There are plenty of pervert fish in the sea. Marry one of them!

NG, another place you might want to look is around/behind the water heater. Especially if it's in the basement or closet of some kind. Lots of dark corners to hide things.

Just thought of another place (only because I have one myself) is a lazy-susan cupboard. It would be a pain to hide something there but from what you've said about your XH, I wouldn't put it past him.

[This message edited by Clarrissa at 4:43 PM, August 26th (Monday)]

If I were your garden variety sick freak, I might disguise the tapes as blanks and hide them on a shelf stacked behind a bunch of videos nobody watches much. Maybe I would tuck them away with some other stuff in a box sitting on an old treadmill. Someplace in or near plain sight that nobody would ever think to look. Makes it easier to avoid detection and easier to access all at once.

Now if I were demon-posessed squirrel, I would keep the teen anal rape video... in the kitchen, in a waterproof container that is itself immersed in a large vat of homemade spaghetti sauce. To ensure that my wife cannot obviate the need for my manly sexuality with porn (now *that* would be an unforgivable sin!), I would hide her sauce recipe! Take that! Now I and I alone am master of the porn-concealing homemade deliciousness and you can no longer live without me!