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huskers (original poster member #42168) posted at 5:22 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
I know all of this. But my heart hurts so bad today. How could he do this to our family, our children? The emotional part is bad enough, but we will probably have to file bankruptcy, which will also affect the kids.
It's like I'm frozen and can't make any decisions. Although my mind is telling me the decision has already been made for me.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:24 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
Your fear of the unknown is what is stopping you. Think of the worst possible scenario. Now think of what your present scenario is. Is it really better than what you have thought of?
I doubt it.
He is a selfish ass that has been able to manipulate and blame you, and now you are just starting to see it. Yes it hurts, hurts like hell, but once you decide, you will no longer allow him to cause you new pain, that's when you start to heal, and start to get stronger, and feel better.
You deserve much much more.
(((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
huskers (original poster member #42168) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
I have heard nothing from him all day. I guess he made his choice. So did I. I just filed.
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 9:50 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
You did what you had to do huskers. (((hugs)))
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 10:08 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014
(((((hugs & strength)))))
Yes, even when deciding what is best for you and knowing intellectually that it is right, it still hurts a damn lot. There is no good reason for what he has done. Only brokenness. I'm sorry you and your kids have to suffer from it. But, you will be okay. You have each other and you will rebuild a new, healthier life.
I hope you feel some peace and satisfaction in your decision even through the pain. Be proud of yourself.
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 12:05 AM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
Hey Huskers,
I am so sorry that you are bearing the brunt of your WH anger. And that he had the nerve to ask for the key in front of your son. He is a douche'!
And now you have pulled the trigger...so sorry.
I know that you are sad. Now is the time to grieve the relationship. This will help you get to indifference. But you must go through the grief to get to the other side of calm. Sucks.
The changes that will come may seem daunting but you are young and smart. Your children will thank you later for being the strong parent. Also for being the one who did not abandon their family for some gutter love.
God Bless you and your family Huskers. Hold your babies close tonight, kiss their sweet brows and know that in the end, you all will be alright. You got this babe!
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:05 AM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
Him not contacting you with a decision WAS a decision. As you said, he made it. Please try to take the weekend to rest, enjoy your children, and spoil all of yourselves a bit. Monday will come soon enough. Breathe and be this weekend. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
huskers (original poster member #42168) posted at 2:10 AM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
Thank you for your helpful words. I'm paralegal so filed it myself . Will let guys I work for do everything else but I really wanted to do it myself. Kind of an I'm in control thing. He won't get served until next week cuz of weekend and Presidents' Day. Who knows...he could have beat me to it and filed before me.
What I do know is that I was sad when I filed.... But ok tonight. Actually relieved. Shit will hit the fan when he gets served regarding money and kids, but he will never ever ever control my emotions again. He and his whore are losers. I'm the winner.
Aceofbase ( member #42458) posted at 3:27 AM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
DD: 12/18/2013
Status: R
Happiness is a choice.
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 8:21 AM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
He and his whore are losers. I'm the winner.
Repeat that until it sticks huskers. Hard as it was you are now putting you and your kids first and though it won't seem like it at first, things will eventually get better for you. You are the one in charge of your own destiny now. Those other two will be getting a dose of that reality next week - they don't get to decide what happens with your life anymore. You are the one in charge. Stay strong, and try to enjoy your kids this weekend. ((hugs))
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Sadmumma ( member #42192) posted at 2:14 PM on Saturday, February 15th, 2014
So sorry that your here.. I agree with the other posters, that this
I have heard nothing from him all day. I guess he made his choice. So did I. I just filed.
is the right move
Later I got a text from husband saying he wouldn't pursue it but would get lots of things out of the house.
Actually NO, you have the key. Pack whats his and leave it in the garage for him to collect!!! You can call the shots on that one!
[This message edited by Sadmumma at 8:15 AM, February 15th (Saturday)]
On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014
lastdance ( member #42401) posted at 12:44 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014
you did the right thing---you are smart,young,independent,strong---you cannot let this selfish person control you----he made his choice----he is not the man you married---please remember this is a man you do not know--the other one you married is dead----he wants out---please have no contact with him---and do not force your so to communicate with him,your son is also suffering,he is dealing with the fact that his father abandoned him and he is in pain---he feels his father does not care about him or love him ,if he did how could he walk away from his family---give him space and time to heal---you cannot have any contact with your h ,how did the ow get your number----can you change it---don't even give it to h----have him contact lawyers----you will be ok once you get rid of this garbage----do not even consider R ,that was just a smoke screen between ow and h------you will survive----remember if you do not like where you are now ,change places......you are not a tree 
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