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Questioningall ( member #43959) posted at 4:39 PM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Excellent post. Thank you. I felt so stupid when I realized what was going on in my marriage. I was totally in denial and rugswept after WH's first, made up confession. Now I'm looking at the truth and wreckage of our life together and trying to reconcile. That so many people are going through this, too, is both depressing and comforting. SI is both a trigger and a help. (So are relationship books.) But I am learning.
Me-BS 57
Him-WS 57 Sorrowfulmate
Married 30 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
needfriendshere ( member #43350) posted at 4:52 PM on Monday, July 7th, 2014
Thanks so much, Tred. I had a rough weekend (emotionally) and really needed it.
(((Tred)))
Me: early 50'sWH: early 50'sMarried: 23 yearsDS: 21 years oldOther DS: 18 years oldD-day: 2/14/2014H's LTA lasted 6 years, his EA's lasted during most of our M, but we are both trying hard to R.
Tred (original poster member #34086) posted at 7:06 PM on Tuesday, July 8th, 2014
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:12 AM on Sunday, July 13th, 2014
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
MadeOfScars ( member #42231) posted at 8:59 PM on Wednesday, November 12th, 2014
Just wanted to bump this again. I have no idea if this is a trend since I wasn't on this site yet this time last year, but it appears to me anyway that the closer we get to the Holidays, the number of new folks I'm seeing on SI seems to be increasing a a greater rate. Haven't "done the math" or run the numbers, but just sayin'.
Anyway, whether or not I'm seeing a trend that may or may not exist, I know there are many here such as myself who are entering a Holiday season for the first time after dealing with this betrayal. As a group, as a family, we too shall get through this together. I have't even been here a year yet, but I already know this - it really, really does get better.
Strength and best wishes to you all.
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
jobin ( member #44908) posted at 9:40 PM on Wednesday, November 12th, 2014
so true Tred!
Thinking back, my biggest surprise was how 'text book' my story was. Oh, there were some very unique twists and turns, but the broadstrokes of the A, my response, etc - so common and predictable it was amazing!
Made me realize how naive I was...
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:26 PM on Saturday, November 22nd, 2014
bumping for the weekend. Hi Tred! 
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 6:56 PM on Wednesday, January 7th, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 8:23 PM on Wednesday, January 7th, 2015
Maybe we could ask the mods to stick a thumbtack in this one? It's great!
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 9:53 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
mendingme ( member #47403) posted at 10:35 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015
Thank you for this post! I am 6 months out and just now finding the courage to post. I have discovered that even though a fair amount of people know what happened, nobody mentions it. The worst 6 months of my life and nobody asks how I am. So this site has been a life saver! It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this shit storm!!
Me:BS, 46
Him: WH, 50
DDay: 10/31/14 2 1/2 year affair
Married 24 years, 3 Awesome kids
Trying to reconcile
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:27 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:15 PM on Friday, August 14th, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 10:38 PM on Thursday, December 10th, 2015
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
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