SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Beware.... Guard against.... Be aware... Soon.... In a few months...or a couple of years... You may well find yourself at war with yourself... Over loosing your trust with your husband. Wait till you become insecure and fearful that your husband is the one cheating. You may find yourself watching his eyes... Checking his phone out when he is asleep.... After all... You see the damage done... You know how easy it is to fall when all is right ... Why wouldn't his eyes wonder and his attention be drawn to someone else who doesn't have the baggage you bring to daily life... Someone else ... He wont have to struggle with the erotic trauma you created between the two of you...a fresh start... Less insecurites .... The betrayed spouse isn't the only one to struggle with fear, doubt, insecurity, and trust issues. This sword sometimes is a double edged sword that cuts both ways. After all...he is only human... A man... You will imagine him always wondering what it would be

Like to be with someone else now... Someone who didn't put him through this... Why wouldn't he be vulnerable to temptation from now on out... The door has been opened. Innocence lost. The pain you see in his eyes may very well be the pain you feel in the future. The nightmare is... How confident are you that your imagined fears won't lead you to make this mistake all over again... Do you trust yourself??? Hopefully... You will n

ever trust yourself again... Always take precautions to avoid even remote opportunities to stumble this way again...

For me, a BH... the hardest part is knowing that I will never be special again.

I was not special to her, and she did things with other men that were reserved for US and us only.

There is nothing that can bring back that feeling.

As a betrayed spouse I told my wife that I no longer trusted her. I couldn't look at her the same way, because the same mouth that was telling me she had regret and would never have another affair is the same mouth that repeatedly lied to me with such sugary ease.

She was shocked when I told her the trust was gone. Her response was she had moved past it and so should I. D-day was September 6, 2017. Here we are in 5 weeks and she's put it all behind her?

Trust was the most important part of our marriage. She threw it away and betrayed me and our marriage. She was always special to me, but she's not special anymore. I no longer remember her as the woman I gladly and excitedly woke up to every morning. Instead I remember her as the woman who went to bed with me and snuck out late at night to screw her POSOM.

Her affair has been such a shock to my system that it has destroyed every good thing I've ever thought about her.

Affairs cause the BS to question everything the spouse has ever told them. Every action, every moment that they are not in our presence we wonder about the underlying motive and where they really are.

I honestly do feel sorry for you WSs. I know after coming to your senses and recognizing what you've done and what it has cost you that it must be maddening to look into the eyes of your BS and see the hurt, pain and anguish.

My wife claims she wants that trust back and that she is now open, honest and transparent. But she is none of those things. They are nothing but words she speaks. There is little to no action to back up her words. So when she looks into my eyes she sees something she doesn't like: disbelief.

It may already be too late for her to earn my trust or to enter into R; but time will tell. Unfortunately, as many have said it takes 2-5 years for a BS to heal from the affair. During that time the marriage dynamics change so dramatically that some people just further the "growing apart."

It is refreshing for me to read your posts to see that so many of you not only have remorse for your actions and empathy toward your spouses, but you have learned true humility.

I honestly and sincerely wish you all the best.

The hardest part was losing the love of my life. It still is. It turned me from a fairly outgoing person with many friends to pretty much a loner with now just a couple I keep close by.