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Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 7:16 PM on Saturday, September 23rd, 2017
Sassylee, three fingertips are resting right above your nose on your forehead. No thumb or pinky. I have no idea why it works but the ER doctor said this position, along with slow breathing and self talk rewires your brain in the moment.
Honestly ? I was just so relieved at his compassion. The hospital I went to has an ER doctor notorious for being an ass & assumes everyone is drug-seeking. Ugh! And he's still there 20 years later! I call if I have to go to make sure that he isn't working. And if he is, since my mom worked there, I'll invoke her name with him. The immediate 180-attitude change is both stunning and infuriating.
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 3:15 PM on Sunday, September 24th, 2017
Maybe we should also include some how to be safe when working out your anger tips as well since panic attacks can be brought on by stuffing your anger for long periods of time.
At least mine did. And still do if I'm not paying attention, which is why I come across so snarky and bitter.
Well....ok bitter. Admittedly, I'm always snarky!
For example, I love love love the sound of breaking glass. Cheap dishes, from yard sales or good will, safety goggles, and a place to smash them that you don't have to clean up afterwards. I used the garbage can.
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Mindjob ( member #54650) posted at 3:21 AM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
I like the part where Warrior Princess supplied the Science to ntv's flatulence based stress mitigation technique.
I don't get enough credit for *not* being a murderous psychopath.
deephurt ( member #48243) posted at 5:02 AM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
I had panic attacks after DDAy, not a lot but some. I was told to look around the room and look for something blue, then green etc. Look for something made of wood, then look for something made of glass. Say it in your mind as you look, say what it is. Concentrate only on doing that and your body will relax.
I can't honestly say I have tried it as I haven't had a panic attack since being told to try it. May be worth a shot though
me-BW
him-WH
so far successfully in R
demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 7:46 AM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
Deephurt, that sounds like grounding. It also helps to go through each sense. For example, I see the blue carpet. I feel... I smell...
I have been reading tons on mindfulness and workbooks are really good on this, too. What has really helped is my meditation app, Headspace. I think even in the midst of an attack, you could turn it on and try the breathing. There are guided meditations called SOS. I've not had one in a long while as I meditate often and practice grounding
BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 8:34 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
Ok, weekend is over.
Anyone else with some tips?
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
Talking with friends
Thinking about something else
Rubber band method mental redirection
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 10:03 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 10:08 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
Gotta tell you, NTV, I'm just a little disappointed you waited til now to bring up journaling. I specifically left it off my list for you. 🤣
You losing your touch?
Edited because I wasn't giving NTV enough hassle!
[This message edited by Adlham at 4:09 PM, September 25th (Monday)]
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 10:53 PM on Monday, September 25th, 2017
Yeah, I was waiting for someone else to say it. Figured as many times I recommended it SOMEONE had to have tried it. <sigh> oh well
Also, painting and dancing
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 12:16 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
If you've only had a few farts in your life
Unlike NTV's constant farting.
I'm a lady.
If I'm in situation where there's other people around me in an enclosed space like the at the dinner table, whenever I possibly can, I excuse myself and go into a different location and politely "pass gas ".
[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 6:16 PM, September 25th (Monday)]
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 12:30 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
See that's why you need retraining Dorothy. The correct course of action is to pull a cheek so it comes out silently then blame it on the most pretentious person there.
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 12:42 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
NTV, it still stinks even though I manage not to make any noise.
Really NTV, you've never been in a situation where there is lots of people around and someone "let's one go" discretely and no one know who it was yet there's massive and lingering stench in the air?
[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 6:49 PM, September 25th (Monday)]
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 12:58 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 9:36 AM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
But Dorothy, that's half the fun!
You just have to be able to maintain a good poker face, especially when your SO blames the dog...
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 2:25 PM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
You just have to be able to maintain a good poker face
That's where the problem is.
I have the worst poker face EVER.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 8:33 AM, September 26th (Tuesday)]
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 3:22 PM on Tuesday, September 26th, 2017
Me either, Dorothy, and let me tell you, my husband found it nowhere near as funny as i did once he figured it out!
NTV im pretty sure we ALL were wondering what took you so long to bring up journaling!
In other news, I totally learned something new last night that i must share! Starbucks frappacino bottles take an amazing amount of effort to smash.Took me three tries of slamming some of them into the dumpster before they finally broke.
And I have to say, you know your anger has hit critical mass when you're mid sentence & mid conversation with your spouse when you suddenly say excuse me, stand up, and not only go outside to break glass but then fish it back out of the dumpster to try agaun if it doesn't break.
Edited because i have a different phone and it hates me
[This message edited by Adlham at 9:26 AM, September 26th (Tuesday)]
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, March 15th, 2018
Someone just recently referenced this link and I thought I'd ask for more info about
1) Generally speaking, what causes anxiety and panic attacks?
2) Is there a diff between an anxiety and a panic attack?
3) More detailed stories about people who have had them or were around people that did.
4) Are they all created more or less "equal" or are there different kinds?
5) What biochemical/biophysical stuff happens before , during, and after one?
6) What's the best way to help someone else who might be prone to them or having one while you're around (preferably BESIDES telling them to fart or try to go potty on themselves or trying to set them up on the nearest toilet available to you at the time...)?
7) What are the detailed psychological reasons or FOO or other issues typically related to such?
I think I've had more than a few of these anxiety attacks myself, but I know for a certainty that my wife used to early in our marriage.
BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua
Adlham (original poster member #53358) posted at 2:38 AM on Thursday, March 15th, 2018
Hi Ceph...yeah, that was me. I have noticed a couple different threads on the topic and having gone through the hell myself, wanted to say what worked for me.
1- anxiety attacks are more often brought on by a stressor. panic attacks are out of the blue, not necessarily preceded by a stressful event. At least that's the very basic definition I found.
I had severe panic attacks that started a good 2 years after I left my ex. I personally believe that my lizard brain decided it was finally safe for me to deal with stuff but wasn't sophisticated enough to inform me politely first! Panic attacks are more intense, while anxiety attacks build up slowly. Panic attacks are also a subset of Anxiety Disorders.
2- I think both cause the same overall physiological response (racing heart, difficulty breathing, etc) but anxiety is caused by a precipitating event and typically subsides once the stressor is over (think people with social anxiety). Panic attacks happen out of the blue.
3- I will run down my personal experiences a bit later.
4- I have no idea, but will look into that more.
5- panic attacks trigger the flight or fight response and dumps a ton of epinephrine into your system so you can either run or fight, despite the fact that everything is all good. Slow, deep breathing helps override that response and helps clear the hormone response. Panic attacks can also be accompanied by chest pain (mine are) and a sense of impending doom.
6- non pharmalogically? Slow, deep breathing while telling yourself that you are safe & ok. You can do that anywhere without embarrassment!
7- FOO issues, certain health conditions, PTSD, substance abuse problems can all contribute.
I have a nice shopping list of issues that contribute to my panic disorder. But what caused mine to manifest was some deep-seated anger that I hadn't dealt with because it wasn't safe initially and I was busy being a single parent to an infant. It was something my mental health professor said in nursing school one day: for panic disorders, find out what the person is so angry about?
Lightbulb. Moment.
I still have them, occasionally. But I went from multiple times a day to maybe 2-3 a year. I haven't needed meds to help with this for 20 years (unless I have to get on an airplane, but that's more of a control issue, as in I don't have any lol). What helps me is to not stuff my anger. So I'm mouthy and loud and collect glass items to break when I'm really pissed because I like the sound!
Hope that helps. I will think up which fun times to share a bit later. I laugh about it now, but it was a horrible year in my life when it was happening all the time.
There is NO need to have that “one last conversation” with a toxic individual in your life.” The closure will come when you look deeper inside yourself. It’s not your job to fix someone when they are unwilling to fix themselves.
BobPar ( member #62993) posted at 3:30 AM on Thursday, March 15th, 2018
I think tapping fingers, rubbing the finger tips together like a baseball pitcher, or rubbing the glass on a cell phone have been mentioned as well.
DDay 1 (AP1) and 2 (AP2) 2015 DDay 3 (AP 3) and 4 (AP4) 2016There was some overlap with 3 and 4)False R 2016Suspect more from exWW
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