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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 6:54 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2018
It's infuriating to me that my WW won't see the manipulation from her bff. I feel that WW does talk shit about me to her and that's why this all happened. Either way it's not OK.
In reality your wife is the culprit. There is enough actions, etc from your wife to tell you what you need to know.
Indecisiveness is not your friend
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 8:00 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2018
I completely agree with the poster who said that reconciliation usually does not work well when separated. I have no doubt that the friend is likely up to no good but there’s the off chance she figured why bother inviting you since you and your wife aren’t together anymore—because that’s what a separation IS; it isn’t reconciliation. JMHO.
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
strugglebus ( member #55656) posted at 9:07 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2018
If your wife is serious about reconciling, she needs to drop all people who are not friends of the marriage. A person fully aware of the affair who did not alert you is a friend to neither you nor your wife.
She didn't respect you enough to let you know you were being exposed to harm, why would she respect you enough to invite you to a party?
BS -DDay: 9/26/16- Double Betrayal
Happily reconciling.
Be True to your Word. Don't take things Personally. Don't Make Assumptions. Do Your Best.
Jeffruss79 (original poster new member #62482) posted at 9:08 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2018
Wife and I separated right after Dday. I signed a 6 month lease. We were planning on me moving back in after that. We have been getting along well with few bumps. Both in IC and MC. I'm really unsure about it now.
Jsmart ( member #56437) posted at 11:17 PM on Sunday, June 10th, 2018
Jeff, knowing you have dependency issues, then those are the area's you need to work on. I would bet you probably give off a needy vibe to your WW which is why she felt safe in jeopardizing the marriage and her kids stability. She knew you would be a safe plan B.
The answer is not to try doubling down on being nice and sweet. That doesn't work with women. Your path lies in becoming independent and self reliant.
How sure are you that she's not dating? If she's dating another dude, her friend will know, and would explain why she didn't invite you. Don't listen to her words. Her actions is what is real.
That line about wanting you there is pure bull to keep you hoping. A remorseful WW that wants to R, would have insisted that you come to the party.
Once again. You've spent 12 years looking out for her best interest and caring for her kids. Did you ever want kids of your own?
[This message edited by Jsmart at 5:19 PM, June 10th (Sunday)]
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:43 PM on Monday, June 11th, 2018
I second the fact your WW needs to lose the friend and this surprise party and not being invited to it would actually cause me to stay separated even longer. Your WW does not get it. Keep moving forward with YOUR life.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
LivingWithPain ( member #60578) posted at 10:48 PM on Monday, June 11th, 2018
Not taking one minute to call you, and at the very least ask you if you wanted to come over and join the party, tells you everything you need to know about how much your WW values you and the marriage.
Sorry man...not very much at all.
Me - 39; WW - 36
Married 13 years
1 Adopted Son age 18
Still married and living together: attempting to reconcile.
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