SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Good for you!

So what is she going to do now that her door mat has left the building?

To: TheGuy123

Well if I had to guess based on her past behaviour, she’ll let some time pass without us speaking to each other, thinking I’ll come around and apologize and try to mend things. Which is always what I’ve done in the past (shame on me). But that’s not happening this time and I can go for a very long time without speaking to her. We’ll live in the same house and co-parent because I’ve moved on. Then at some point she’ll blow up on me probably. And I’ll remind her of what I said in my texts to her. It’s her move now. I’m not interested in a realationship with another women. I’m not that kind of guy. So I can go for long droughts without sex, she’s trained me to...sadly...but if she is serious (which is possible) Step 1 polygraph test. If it shows she’s lied, then divorce immediately and I’m letting everyone she nows why so that the record is straight and she can’t twist the truth. If she’s telling the truth in the test then we move onto Step 2. (If she wants) She needs to begin fixing her issues and working on her half of the relationship, if not - again...divorce

Do NOT tell her about this site!!

Why wait....

Cut it short now...getter her pissed off now and ask her to leave!

A statement clarifying that you are no longer playing her game.

You are waiting for her to make the move of getting pissed...just like before!

Why wait....ask her to leave....something you probably have never once asked her....even when she comes rolling in at 2-3-4 o'clock in the morning. Even after all the disrespect she has for you since you sat back a eleven years ago after she phucked some strange on your honeymoon.

It's easy for me to say this ...my kids are grown...your young daughters need their dad but in the same breath they need an emotionally healthy dad that can be someone they respect and not watch their father being walked on by their mother.

I'm guessing your kids need a emotionally healthy father rather then a doormat to an abusive wife....you can change the direction of all of this.... to bad your old lady ain't going to like losing her control/free ride.

It is not right that she slapped you. No spouse should hit. No excuse. Ever.

She should not have left you on your honeymoon to have fun with others, she should have stayed with you even if you did not feel well.

You should not have to feel like you need to appease her if you feel deep down that it would be wrong or you do not really want to.

I am sorry she had been emotionally abusive all this time. I find that worse than the cheating.

Think about what you really want in life. If she does not respect and cherish you then she does not deserve to be a wife. Marriage is a gift. She is not showing gratitude for what she has been given. You deserve more from a relationship. Everyone needs to feel loved and supported. Selfish partners who lie are abusing the marriage.

I'm going to second the request to DNA test your children. You can get a kit at a drug store. She doesn't even have to know you are doing it. I would really be afraid that her reaction during sex was because she knew she was already pregnant and needed you to think it was yours. I'm sorry to have to say this but there are others on this site that have discovered this terrible news later in life.

I agree with this:

I'm going to second the request to DNA test your children. You can get a kit at a drug store. She doesn't even have to know you are doing it. I would really be afraid that her reaction during sex was because she knew she was already pregnant and needed you to think it was yours. I'm sorry to have to say this but there are others on this site that have discovered this terrible news later in life.

I recommend you lawyer-up. Be prepared to work out a parenting agreement just in case testing confirms you are the kids’ father.

This woman is toxic. She is emotionally and physically abusive. She lies. She most likely has cheated on you beyond what you suspect. She is manipulative. You deserve better. Do not change who you are or compromise your character for a person like this woman.

Duplicate post

[This message edited by OneInTheSame at 3:36 AM, October 22nd (Monday)]

If you wait for her response or reaction, it does appear to be more of the same from you that you have said you are going to stop.

Take decisive action. Period. No waiting. No game playing. No feeding the drama. No more thinking this time will be different - you know it won't. Set up the poly. Period. Get a date, time, location. That may be enough to get a parking lot confession. Many cheating spouses say "ok" right away as they think it will never happen.

You actions need to scream louder than your words. Her behaviors mimic the standard cheater handbook: deflection, gasligthing, defensiveness, blameshifting. Thos don't exist in that combination without reason. Take charge of getting out of the toxic shitstorm your spouse has created for you.

I agree with the others on the DNA. It as a simple and cheap way to reassure yourself. There is no down side to it.

Good for you JeepGuy. I have to agree with a poster who recommended getting your kids DNA tested. I wouldn't however hide it from her. I'd do it while she's watching so it sends a message to her that you're serious about the truth of what she's been up to. Stay strong.

JG, how are you today?

JeepGuy,

Get some consultation from an attorney NOW if you have not already. In fact, setup a few consultations with different attorneys. Some offer the first 30 minutes to an hour free, some charge just $50 to $150 fee. Whatever you do, GET AN ATTORNEY FIRST before act on any information you find from the polygraph (or the parking lot confession she may give you right before it) and a paternity test.

Manipulative spouses, like the way you describe yours, will make life an absolute hell once you make a stand and resist all their usual forms of manipulation on you. It's no holds barred from the book of dirty tricks.

Also look into getting a VAR (voice activated recorder) to have on you at all times for your protection. Ask your attorney about the legalities of having/using one in your jurisdiction.