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josiep ( member #58593) posted at 4:23 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2019
Gently: YOU can't save the relationship, boys or no boys.
You have 2 choices:
1. Continue to live in infidelity with a lying cheating asshole and pretend that it's OK. Rugsweep all this, let him do whatever he wants and show your sons what's acceptable in a committed relationship.
OR,
2. Stand up for yourself and take back your power. Go see an attorney to find out your rights. Not saying you have to do anything but find out. Get tested for STD. And implement the 180 (see Healing Library on the left side of the page). Gain some clarity and then decide how to move forward to get the best life possible for you and your boys.
I don't think you're dumb at all and I think you're smart enough to decide which option is the best one for your life. I'm sorry there isn't a 3rd Option.
BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017
bluelady (original poster member #11061) posted at 5:02 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2019
Chaos I guess I should have said "He must think I'm dumb". He's never called me names. But thanks for having my back!
I've unfortunately been down this road before, with my now XH so I'm painfully aware of the cheater's handbook and everything that goes with it. I'm keeping my cards close right now and meeting with a lawyer Friday afternoon. I also have an IC appointment next week and an appointment with my GP on the 17th. I'm really hoping this can be saved but I'm protecting myself, too.
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:14 PM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2019
bluelady - sorry to hear you have the AP version of the Cheater's Handbook and that this is not your 1st Rodeo
I still stand by with my Flaming Horse's Patoot thought 
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
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