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Oh how terrible... I am glad you are there for her! My DD is 23 and she knows how devastating the A was on me so it certainly jaded her and her relationships (lack of relationships) I should say because she trusts no men.

Stay with your DD and Hugh her. Let her cry scream etc. And just stay with her.

She is doing better today, yesterday I took her to the dr to get somebody anti anxiety meds. She has a law enforcement job and works nights so that distracts her.

Her furniture was simple before and ehikenthe bed was less than a year old we swapped it out with my sons, who lives part time 50 miles away. She ordered her first adult bedroom set which will arrive next week and her best friend is coming Sunday to help her redecorate some.

That room was just painted last month with new light fixtures in the bedroom and bathroom but she’s okay with leaving that.

He’s supposed to come by today to get the stuff from he garage he left behind. It’s been hard for me since he was s part of our family and almost like our son. He has lived with us for two years, since before we bought this house.

Hi Marie.

I'm glad she's redecorating her room. It'll be a little project for her to work on & hopefully distract her a little bit. Will this be the last pick-up by the WS? It would be better for everyone if he didn't have to come by anymore. I second Chaos' idea to change the locks on your doors. Better safe than sorry, particularly as he's shown you that he isn't who you thought he was. I can't imagine how painful this is for you, it's obvious you care for him deeply. The betrayal runs deep. Have you & your DD blocked him on her phone and social media accounts? No Contact was a huge help for lessening pain and moving on.

Hey Marie

I'm glad she's going forward with the redecorating. Changing things around will help her. It kinda creates a fresh slate, a newness.

How did it go with him coming by? I hope there was no trouble and I do agree about changing your locks. He shouldn't have the keys to your home and you cannot trust that he hasn't made copies. If you have an alarm system and he knows the code change that too. I'm in the better safe than sorry camp. His choices were a game changer and it will be his loss.

I hope your daughter is finding comfort in the love of her family and friends. Maybe plan a short girls getaway either with you or her friends. Give herself a little distance and time to breathe.

I hope your daughter flourishes without him. Please allow him to own his behavior.....No excuses.

My thoughts are with your daughter and your family.

((((Marie2792))))

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 11:07 PM, June 20th (Thursday)]

She is doing great, going to therapy and focusing on her summer plans and spending time with friends.

We did change the locks, the alarm code and garage code. He actually had to come by twice MBB because he had a lot of stuff in the garage.

On Thursday a change of address came from the postal service for him. That takes about 7 days so he did that before he told us allnhe was moving out. He was very sad it seemed and hugged me said he loved her and all of us. I had purposely shut the door after the garage was closed so I didn’t have to see him and he knocked.

I have a theory about what’s going on but I’m going to wait and see how it unfolds. So much pointing to another woman but I think it’s going to be a shocker.

As a BS, how are you doing during this unfortunate time for your family?

You’re a good mom....

Stevesn, it did trigger me a little bit but there is no way I’m going to encourage her to try to do the pick me dance (she was starting to) or to reconcile with him if he asked. They have no kids, aren’t married and nonfinancial ties.

This man lived with us for two years and became part of my family. My main feeling is sadness and disappointment over the way he left our home. As an aside...they started dating right srojnd the time my husband was having his A. The weekend that the A was ending and my FWH was scrambling for attention from her, my daughters boyfriend spent the weekend with us for the first time and we ate meals together, watched movies, played board games. When my Dday happened, I was pretty careful not to argue around the kids and he was spending weekends at our house twice a month so I didn’t really want to put our family business out there. It’s hard for me not to think about that now that he has done the same to my daughter. We bought this house close to his hometown so restaurants and parks will likely become triggers for her. Her therapist is trained in EMDR so that will be the next step if she needs it.

She is doing well considering. I am so proud of her. Had to sleepmwith her the first few nights and then my youngest did. This weekend my son came home unscheduled to be with her. I am so grateful they are so close. They really have her back.

Hugs to your daughter. No one wants to see this happen and, as a mom, I don't know how much of an asswhooping I would want to give my son-in-law to be if he did this to my kiddo or anyone doing that to one of my kids. I would refrain and be present for my kid, but my thoughts would wander to asswhooping mode.

You are a great mom!

And yes, siblings are a great help as well. My 3 brothers are so supportive, even just driving up to make sure I have groceries.

In times like these I am so appreciative of how close my family is. Your daughter is lucky to have all of you!