SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The effect infidelity has had on me and my 3 children has been horrendous. I can’t for the life of me understand why someone would boast about having affairs with married women.

I agree.

To me, by far, the worst aspect of it all is the impact on children.

The first thing that came to my mind the instant I found out was the incredible emotional pain and turmoil my children were going to be put through.

Unfortunately, the world is chock full of shit people like this.

Men and women who are totally, utterly worthless pieces of two-faced, deceitful, hypocritical shit.

Hypocritical because they would be enraged and gutted if they found out their spouse/partner were betraying them the very way they betray others.

The entertainment industry glorifies infidelity in just about every way possible and the very visible political world is loaded with narcissistic and wildly hypocritical adulterers also.

This pathetically low self-esteem behavior is believed by some men as a badge of manhood and by some women as badge of desirability.

All it is, is a cover-up for how incredibly empty they are and the neediness for constant validation from someone.

Going back to what infidelity does to children - I have yet to see here or in the situations I know of in my life, where an adultery partner, man or woman, has ever apologized to or even expressed the slightest concern over the impact their scumbag behavior has had on any children who were forced to endure the consequences and fallout of their selfish bullshit.

I have never seen it once.

Not once.

Still waiting for the piece of shit who had an affair with my wife apologise to me and my children. Gutless piece of shit. I blame my spouse 100% for what she did. She has apologised profusely. I’m trying to work it out with her. For the hurt she placed on me and our family. R is the toughest thing I’ve ever done.

Would the POS apology make it any easier? Perhaps not. But then again why would I expect a gutless bastard apologise or have a conscience when he didn’t care what he was doing to my family and his? I know for a fact he’s so scared of me that the mere mention of my name now has shivers running done his spine. That gives me much pleasure. He knows that if I bump into him, it won’t be pretty.

[This message edited by Mene at 11:49 PM, August 8th (Thursday)]

In case you’re wondering, one of my conditions for R was that my wife apologise to the other betrayed spouse and her children. Which she did.

Married cheaters don't tell. Goes around telling a group of guys.

Wow,

Some Men actually do this on nights out?

Compare/Brag about conquests really?

I never actually got it when I heard single friends refer 'another notch on the bed post' but thats essentially what he was saying isn't it?

fair play to not hitting him...I couldn't of held myself back (I've never mastered that talent)

Never came across this before. Don’t know if the guy has some type of brain fade, but I think he was trying to impress. He’s an idiot.

tell his wife!

I'd bet that he's been with a wife of one of the men he was bragging to ... after reading some of the stories on SI - that seems to be the added thrill these low lifes get off on.

it's not just men. Women think the same way. I once had a woman I know tell me that if you are going to cheat, you never pick someone who doesn't have the same to lose as you. By that she meant, if you are both married you are in the same boat. If you full around with someone single, your the only one who has something to lose, they don't. I've heard that for about as long as I can remember.

My wife found this out the hard way. She picked a single druggie loser who could wait to brag that he was banging some hot married girl. He eventually was posting things all over face book what a great F my wife was and how she blew him.

[This message edited by 99lawdog99 at 8:12 AM, August 9th (Friday)]

I think I’m losing faith in humanity when I come across assholes like this. I hope he is caught one day and some angry husband confronts him.

IMHO, you ran into the "typical male cheat", or, at least the type of cheat that I know. The male WS's here are totally unknown to me, they are humble, confused, ashamed and upset about what they've done. The guy you described, that's the guy I know, bragging about it. Yes, married women are "easier" and yes, they do "put out" fast and not expect much. My W as "exhibit A" in that discussion. Also, if you're looking to sleep with a lot of women at once, of course married women are a great way to do it, you don't have the "girlfriend" entanglements. Just TXT some love song and have sex. Typical A. Not a typical relationship at all. Your typical A relationship is kind of like my "dream relationship" as a young man, a woman who expects no commitment, gifts, etc. Doesn't mind that I'm sleeping with other people. Put out tons of sex for basically nothing in return. It's no wonder there are guys who pursue this, take away any moral compunction and it's obvious (just read some of the affair stories here and imagine if you and the OW weren't married, sounds like a pretty darn good deal, right)?

It gets a lot worse than this. Sharing pictures/nudes with the guys, making fun of the AP's "love you" texts.. I've seen both of those commonly in male cheats I know. Yes, looking back, the behavior is abhorrent, but.. In some ways, especially if the guy was single (they usually weren't, but, let's just use this as a thought experiment) there's still a part of me that thinks (about the women) "this is what you get". Like, what the f**k did you expect entering into a relationship like this? You thought the guy was going to love and respect you? Not brag to his buddies about your BJ's and having anal sex with you? I mean.. Sure, you can "lend" a homeless drunk 100 bucks on your way into the liquor store, but, expecting to be paid back, well.. That's just stupid. And expecting male AP's NOT to act like this is equally stupid, IMHO. For the men I know, it's a game. If you want to play, fine, but know the rules of the game. And those rules have f**k all to do with love/respect and romance and whole lot to do with sex in the back seat of a car and BJ's under the table. If that's what you want, well, you've found the right place for it (and, IMHO, that IS what a lot of men want). Otherwise? Your playing baseball trying to score a touchdown. You're on the wrong field playing the wrong game.

^ Exactly. Buy the ticket, take the ride. I have as much sympathy for cheating, or even single, AP women who get with some nude-sharing cad as I do for the guy who cheats with a bunny-boiler: zippo.

Wow! Good job on not knocking him out/going to jail and letting him know he is douchebag. I've found voicing my opinion in certain scenarios like this is fucking great. I'm one of the most kind hearted, friendly but extremely sarcastic people you'll ever meet. I would've laid into to this prick so much. I hope you can find a last name, maybe search FB with all the friends you were with and search through their friends list?

That’s not what real men do.

Yep

Rulk. No one said they were very smart.

Scooby, are you really surprised by this? I'm surprised by that. People brag all the time.

ETA (because I always forget stuff): Good for you for speaking up. Someone needs to give those men who were laughing a rude awakening.

[This message edited by cocoplus5nuts at 10:21 AM, August 9th (Friday)]

Mene, is there a way u could let his wife know?

Hire a PI for a bit and have them present info on your behalf anonymously?

Or break your friendship with him and tell wife yourself?

If he gets grumpy tell him to buzz off.

What made my dry reach was that he said he targets married women because they’re the ones likely to shut their mouths during and after the affair because they’ve got so much to lose.

The concept here is mutually assured self-destruction. I've seen it numerous times on my internet-reading about infidelity.

Of course, and I have never seen this discussed but I have experienced it, the downside about having affairs with married women is that they have spouses that might catch them and then tell their spouse.

In my case, the OBS had no idea that her husband was getting side action. If only her had dabbled in single women, I guess.

It’s a sick person who does this

^^^This is basically it in a nutshell.

Too bad you didn't VAR him.

The concept here is mutually assured self-destruction. I've seen it numerous times on my internet-reading about infidelity.

It's that (she has just as much to lose as I do) coupled with the "it's easy" factor that seems to be the deciding thing for the men I know. You only have to provide that one thing their husband doesn't, a shoulder to cry on, someone to tell them they are pretty, etc; NOT all that her H provides. Dating a single woman, they are going to expect a lot more because they want more needs filled. It's truly sick, but it is what it is, basically a "sex for words" trade. In "standard" relationships, it's much more than that, trading commitment for sex, or love for love, or any variety of things that might come up. In an A, it's much easier, say the right thing, get laid. From a price/benefit analysis, it's entirely understandable why men would do this (or women who want additional sex).

Yes, they brag about it. I've heard them at the table I was at and from conversations at neighbouring tables with people I didn't know. I didn't get asked to join "the boys" for drinks after work very often.

As a victim of infidelity, I was extremely triggered by this event. I think I was as horrified at the other men laughing. Probably some were laughing nervously. I don’t know but I have zero tolerance for these wankers waxing lyrical about “conquests”. I’m closing in on the surname. His wife will find out. Stay tuned.