SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

And if you do this, bow are you much better than the guy? You are not viewing his wife as a person. At all. You are viewing her as his wife. She is a person. She does not deserve to be used as a pawn.

He would come in to my wifes store and flirt with her, he did that for over two years. My wife liked it. I wanted to send something flattering to his wife that she would like.

Your wife was attracted to the guy so she liked it. You are nobody to this guy's wife, so it is highly unlikely she would be flattered.

[This message edited by LLXC at 10:04 PM, January 8th (Wednesday)]

Jimmy, check out motheroftwocat's post -- right now it's two up from this one, so it should remain relatively close to your post on this forum.

The OBS in her situation propositioned her for sex, and you can read her reaction to the situation.

Jimmy -

If ever someone needed to divorce in order to truly heal, it's you.

Are you the guy that would put tacks/nails/whatever in the guy's driveway so that he would have flat tires all the time?

Are you in IC?

I understand about wanting revenge on the AP but at some point you have got to stop the crazy.

Your wife allowed her affair to happen. She did not shut this man down when he began to make his move. It takes two.

This man's wife does not deserve to be treated as a pawn and I am glad that you came to your senses before acting on that impulse.

You are giving this man too much power over you and your mental health. If you are not in IC then please find one.

I say go for it.

I know you're not going to do this now (thank goodness), but does your wife know that you were thinking of doing this?

My wife never knows what I am up to as far as my obsession with POSOM. I just want someone, if not me, to do to him what he did to me. He knew me, he knew we were married, but he pursued my wife for two years daily. My wife should have turned away his advances. Yes it takes two. He is taking up space in my head but I thoroughly enjoy hating him. Hating him gives me something to live for. I despise everything about him. I got in trouble for putting spikes on his driveway but it was worth it. He is lucky that I did not put a spike up his ass!

This is his fourth marriage and I am sure that it will not last. He has only known his new wife for a few months. Instead of dating a while then get married, he gets married first then they get to know each other. His ex wives all had to get restraining orders against him. He is a real piece of shit. But he looks good. 6'7" blue eyes and built like Superman. I can't wait for Karma to get him. ( I think that my middle name is Karma )

[This message edited by Jimmy1962 at 8:10 AM, January 9th (Thursday)]

I agree with Golden. I don't think you will heal while remaining married.

Almost all of your posts are filled with contempt for OM, and maybe an offhand sentence about how your wife allowed it.

You continue to focus on the wrong person. Everyone understands your hatred for OM. But you clearly put more blame on him,than where it belongs. On your wife.

Part of this is the result of your wife telling you she was done discussong it,at only a year out. No one can fully heal under those circumstances.

Divorce may bring you peace.

[This message edited by HellFire at 9:13 AM, January 9th (Thursday)]

This is his fourth marriage and I am sure that it will not last. He has only known his new wife for a few months. Instead of dating a while then get married, he gets married first then they get to know each other. His ex wives all had to get restraining orders against him. He is a real piece of shit.

Jimmy just the above alone tells you what schmuck this guy is. Let him go for your mental health. Why let him occupy any space in your head. I admit it took a few years for myself to stop hating MOW. Funny thing is today I don't even hate her. I pity her the same way I pity my STBX. These are REALLY broken people that do these things or continue to do these things.

Jimmy - I'm all about a good dark fantasy but that's where it stops.

You are better than this. Don't stoop to his level.

Living well is the best revenge. Focus on Jimmy.

While I get your desire to keep tabs on him and his status - BLOCK HIM from all aspects of your life.

This is his fourth marriage and I am sure that it will not last. He has only known his new wife for a few months. Instead of dating a while then get married, he gets married first then they get to know each other. His ex wives all had to get restraining orders against him. He is a real piece of shit.

Ew.

I read what you said about her AP so I felt like I needed to chime in. My measurements are the same 6'7, Blue Eyes (Scottish ancestry) and I go to the gym 5 days a week, plus I live in WI and we all look 10 years younger then we really are up here. (it's the truth, come visit WI & MN and see for yourself) and I know I don't look like Superman! not even close (thank God my wife thinks I do)

What I'm trying to say is the way he looked or I look or anyone looked had nothing to do with why she did it. What she looks like inside is all the charisma it took to cheat...and quite frankly why she has rug swepted this (with your help of course)

Stop putting spikes in driveways and up people's asses and start putting more energy into making you whole again. Whatever that may be.

Oh, and listen to HellFire and stop calling other women skanks! To quote Maddie and Tae "That ain't no way to treat a lady" If HellFire or another BW on here wants to call a woman a skank they have all the right to, but not us....

Google BagOfDicks and send him one on Valentine's Day instead. It will make you feel better..wishing you piece Jimmy

[This message edited by SlapNutsABingo at 11:13 AM, January 9th (Thursday)]

My wife never knows what I am up to as far as my obsession with POSOM. I just want someone, if not me, to do to him what he did to me

If this guy is on his 4th wife, i am betting he does not form close attachments. You can never hurt him the way he hurt you.

I can't wait for Karma to get him

Lots pf people do shitty things and never pay the consequences for it. If you believe in karma, it always happens, but not necessary this lifetime. Do you want to keep waiting for him to get consequences?

You are paying the price for your wife choosing to cheat. I bet he doesn't give you a thought, maybe your wife every once in awhile. But you are very interested - you don't think he would be flattered if he knew?

I thoroughly enjoy hating him

Why? Your wife was the one who allowed him to flirt with her. She could have shut him down. Your wife created this situation. If your wife had shut it down, if she hadnt cheated, you would not be in pain.

If you left your wife right now and never spoke tp her again, do you think your pain would diminish?

You enjoy hating this giu, but how is it helping you? What benefit is it to you?

You deserve peace and happiness. Not obsessing over some guy who will would probably love how obsessed you are if he knew.

And btw. I am sure this guy is super charismatic and good looking so it is easy for him to get women. Bit after 5 years, how many of them feel the same?

Most likely he will be alone on his desthbed. You wanna wait that long for karma?

When Dday happened, I wanted to rip my husband apart with my bare hands. I wanted to chop his dick off and put it in the Vitamix blender. I fantasized some pretty awful shit that I personally wanted to do to him. I wanted bad things to happen to his AP, but I didn't outright fantasize anything more than kicking her ass a little bit. But my spouse. Of course, I didn't DO any of those things to him. And, as time went on, I grew grateful that Shrek relieved me of the 240 lbs cancer.

Your rage and focus are on the wrong person. If anything it's your wife you should want to throw away. Maybe start in counseling with why your rage is focused on the wrong person.

In my 20s and 30s I was quite stunning. I cannot tell you how many married or taken men hit on me, some with serious tenacity. Yet, I've never cheated on someone I was in a monogamous relationship. Know why, because I'm not a trashy whore, nor am I damaged and pathetic needing outside validation.

When you should have shown pity for the OBS, instead you wanted to use her in your revenge schemes. I think it's really your spouse that drives your rage, but since you've chosen to stay with a cheater, your rage is becoming very unhealthy and inappropriately focused.

why did you call her a "skank ?

just because your wife is a skank doesn't mean his wife is ...

Your wife didn’t shut him down and didn’t tell you...

Again, the new wife is a person with feelings. You are not attracted to her for HER. You would be using her and could cause her pain for your pleasure. That is no better than the POSOM...

I get it in some ways. My WS and the OW deserve this to happen to them. I am not a cheater so my WS will not experience that pain from my hand. And I wouldn’t feel right about getting her BS to have an A with me because it woukd cause us both to stoop to their level. I would then be that evil. I would be pulling her BS down to her level. I would be at her level.

Please get help. The fact that you were seriously wanting to do this is not healthy.

Hey jimmy!

Yeah love letter may not be a good idea. But it does seem like you got options:

If ya wanna hurt him, then ya could wait til he's more invested in his marriage than right at the beginning. Then have a pi tail him in 3-5 years when he eventually cheats and give the evidence to her. Don't tip your hand too early, ya know? Make him pay the long price.

Or ya could ignore him her them and do what makes you happy. Seen The Expanse? I liked that show.

Or ya could go with a Facebook message something like 'fyi - he shit on my marriage. just wanted you to know how high he regards marriage as an institution. Hope you make it out of that trainwreck in one piece.' Like a heads up she made a mistake thing.

Oh, ya know, i wouldn't do any of the three. I wouldn't ignore it. I wouldn't offer the heads up. I wouldn't go after the long price. What I would do? A wedding gift. Nothing like a mysterious 3 ft by 4 ft gold framed painting of a dog turd delivered wrapped up in shiny paper to set the right tone of the marriage. If I was feeling real uppity i might even get his face painted right smack in the middle of the turn.

Just my thoughts man.

Jimmy:

You're putting the blame on the wrong person.

Did he rape your wife?

Nope.

She is the one who did this. She enjoyed the attention. She enjoyed the sex. Now you either forgive her or divorce her. That's your choice.

You are going to get sued or arrested for your obsession.

Your posts are always about what you want to do to him. You can't let this eat you up this way. You are destroying yourself. Move on.

OOPS

[This message edited by skerzoid at 1:52 AM, January 10th (Friday)]

Sorry, Double post.

[This message edited by skerzoid at 1:50 AM, January 10th (Friday)]

Sorry triple post

[This message edited by skerzoid at 1:51 AM, January 10th (Friday)]