This Topic is Archived
gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 7:48 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2020
Thanks PDX and HO - I appreciate the explanations.
M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived
It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies
MrCleanSlate ( member #71893) posted at 7:53 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2020
The interesting thing is that some people think we have the moral fortitude, yet we reveal ourselves to be lacking when under duress or external pressures (depression, deaths, rocky marriage, poor finances, etc.). We lie to ourselves, we self medicate, and we seek external comfort.
I was vehemently against a neighbour of ours who had an exit affair, yet there I went a few years later.
The man I became is utterly disgusting to me. This is not a feeling of embarrassment or shame.
That right there shows growth. I have those same feelings at times when I look back to who I was 4 years ago. Guilt is thy name.
I read this quote in a book (I wish i could remember the author): I never thought I was a bad person, but I found out that I was capable of being a bad person. Today I try to be a better person knowing that.
WH 53,my BW is 52. 1 year PA, D-Day Oct 2015. Admitted all, but there is no 'clean slate'. In R and working it everyday"
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day
Zugzwang ( member #39069) posted at 10:40 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2020
IMO, the moral values you portray is your moral character. I think most should be saying I know what moral values are right and wrong and I would like to be x,y,z however that is not my moral character because I did cheat. So, it is within my moral character to choose to cheat.
lie to ourselves, we self medicate, and we seek external comfort.
Those things are there before we get to cheating. Those type of coping skills. Making it our character. We just didn't take it that far yet. To the climax of cheating. There are plenty under duress that still do not choose to hurt people.
Just my opinion. We are the actions we do.
"Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty." Teddy Roosevelt
D-day 9-4-12 Me;WS
kairos (original poster member #65719) posted at 11:09 PM on Friday, January 17th, 2020
Zug, without a doubt. I was actually second-guessing my thoughts here and agree with you. My actions were a clear depiction of my moral character at the time. In other words, I had none. And I certainly didn't uphold the moral code that I believe in so many years before.
I think MrCleanSlate's quote makes this point well: "I never thought I was a bad person, but I found out that I was capable of being a bad person. Today I try to be a better person knowing that."
I would go farther and say that I was a bad person. I really feel that way, and I don't think I am now, and I don't ever want to be that guy again. Regardless, I was a person who had a moral code and threw away that moral code and exhibited no moral character. Where I'm at right is that I don't want to run away from the fact, re-write the narrative, or allow my mind to twist that truth.
[This message edited by Pdxguy at 5:10 PM, January 17th (Friday)]
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
This Topic is Archived
