SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This speaks to me, too. The EA my H had was 25 (he was early 50s), nearly the same age as our oldest daughter. I felt gut punched at the time, mainly because he told he he had fallen in love with her and followed her like a lost puppy. Which is really what he was at the time. She made him feel like someone other than who he really was. She was a fantasy that he was still young and funny and could catch the eye of pretty young things. But as she told me when confronted, “he never put his dick in me.” Charming.

So at least this one had some sensibilities about screwing an old dude. But she happily took his money and attention. Today my H looks back with much shame when he sees who he was back then. He realizes his foolishness, how he allowed himself to be used and manipulated, all so he could be someone he was not. I think that’s what we often look for in a partner.... someone to help us feel like the person we want to be. Especially people who don’t have a healthy sense of their own identity or comfort in their own skin.

When I see these age differences it generally just makes me sad because usually someone is getting played.

I'm older than your spouse, so take this for what it is worth.

IF I was single, and I met a 23 year old who:

-didn't have daddy issues.

-didn't have granddaddy issues.

-who was self assured, capable, kind, self supporting, sexy, smart, mature, and emotionally well adjusted.

-who found me attractive physically and emotionally.

-who was sexually skilled and mature in their approach to sexual activity.

-who was the oldest person available with all the above characteristics and there was no likelihood after the plague that I'd meet anyone older with the same characteristics.

I would certainly consider a relationship with her, both physically and emotionally.

The only problem is, I was 23 once, and I have children who are around that age, so I have no trouble remembering what it is like to be that age...and I know better...so it is going to take a plague worse than coronavirus to get me there.

I'm done raising kids and I don't believe in magical pussy.

But, that is just me.

I also don't clean my guns when they are loaded, so I would consider myself "risk averse".

Plus, I have an uncle who married a woman that age, when he was around 50, and then his brother met and married her mother.

So, my uncle was married to his niece by marriage and his stepfather in law was his brother and his sister in law was his mother in law.

It is just fucking crazy.

((Standing Here)) Your post made me laugh out loud!😂 Thank you! Much needed!

The prefrontal cortex of the brain doesn't mature until we're in our mid-twenties, so yeah... it's gross. The judgment center of the brain isn't fully matured. And in terms of screwing someone young enough to be your daughter (or son, as the case may be), I think it just shows a pathetically over-inflated ego, a laughable grasp at fading youth. You see quite a bit of it in Hollywood couples, and the oldster always looks so ridiculous, like they're too stupid to realize the attraction is their bank account.

My first step mother (AP) was only a couple years older than me, my second step mother was a few years younger than me, my third step mother (Asian bride) I consider too young for even me to date. I think she is only slightly older than my oldest niece.

I think I get the ego boost, but I just can't wrap my head around actually dating someone who could be your child or even worse, your grandchild.

standinghere..

..and he could certainly socialize.. with her parents!!?

smy

Lol, I'm reminded of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, where one of their dads marries one of their high school classmates.

Or that famous Saturday Night Live sketch (available on YouTube) called something like "Meet Your Second Wife".

When I was 30, I dated a 19-year old. I realized even then that there are phases of life, and it's difficult to have a serious relationship with a person who is not in phase with yourself. At least for me it's difficult.

If I were 45, I would not want to date a 20-year old. I would have difficulty overcoming the idea that, when I was 35, she was 10.

I view it as disturbing. Heck I view 15 years as odd. In my head, if I am old enough to be that person's parent...I am too old for that person.

I had a hard enough time dealing with the 8 and 15 year difference. When we started dating they were 14 and 7. Yuck. When we graduated high school they were 11 and 4

But hey...they were younger...firmer...made him feel needed, attractive, wanted.

Here's a chuckle for you. I had the pleasure of reading the texts my husband sent his AP. She was 24, him 48.

One text he sent to her: Glenn Campbell died.

Her response: Who is that?

She was 7 years older then my son at the time. At first I was upset about the age and then I realized that I can still run circles around her and there was no comparison. And, hands down, she's not going to age as well as I have!

Well, I hate to admit this....but I think my WXH wins the prize here.

He is 72 and was having an affair with a 31 year old married mother of 4.

A 41 year age difference there, folks!

There has been so much heartache involved with this tragedy, but the age difference, even after our divorce, is still the one thing I can't seem to let go of...

When the "friendship" initially started, he did tell me, at the time, it was a relationship that he wished he had with his granddaughter.

Sigh...

My H had an uncle. Serial cheater.

His W finally D him. He remarried much younger woman.

The funny part he then had a new OW (plus his new second wife who was much younger). They each had babies 3-4 months apart. This guy was in his 70s.

And his grandchildren were older than their “aunt” or “uncle”.

He managed to find 2 young and dumb women. SMH