SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just going to suggest you try to exercise and do a little bit more tomorrow than you did today every day.

When I start going down like that a little bit of extra workout time can make a big difference. It sucks getting started when you're like that Iknow but that'll help get you out of the spiral and back on the rollercoaster (more high points and head somewhere but down). When you start getting that overloaded feeling where you're just too flooded to think it can help to have a fully rehearsed gameplan going in. That includes walking into your own house and getting ready to exercise and then dragging yourself out the door to do it.

Hang in there,

[This message edited by MrMagnolia at 10:35 PM, June 26th (Tuesday)]

Just checking on you DF. Hope your getting over your down turn. I always found exercise good for clearing my head.

I'm sure the holiday was tough so I'm reaching out. Hope you find your inner strength to do what's needed sooner rather then later.

Thanks NoOptTo it's as you know a day to day thing. They've not been together in SL for a week or so, it's all been Snapchat and whatever else. I honestly don't care at this point.

I spent the day cooking/grilling and playing with the kiddos so it was fun. She did her own thing and *shrug* whatever.

I appreciate the checkup just moving along and trying to claim that last belt notch and go buy myself a new belt, so close ...maybe in a couple more non holiday weeks.:-)

Giving up on the fantasy you thought you had is rough, just keeping focused and my head out of the clouds until I find something real again.

[This message edited by DeepFeeler at 6:56 PM, July 5th (Thursday)]

Hi DF,

Havent heard from you in a while. I hope your finding your way out of infidelity sooner rather then later. Stay strong.

Thank you NoOptTo.

Today is our anniversary so its a bit weird. After having gone through all of this in the last few months its given me pause on a great many things.

I normally go overboard nice dinner, flowers, gift and a card or hand written message. I just went with a card this year.

I've been working on myself and have met a couple of amazing ladies, but just can't pursue anything because I feel I still have a lot of work to do before I'm ready and I'm still not convinced this can't be saved.

She has cut back significantly on the SL side of things, but I know there is still communication between them and suspect most of it has moved to snapchat or another medium.

I can tell she still cares for me and she has tried but reconciliation actions aren't really there and there is some remorse but she still doesn't get the gravity of what this did to me.

I spent most of yesterday just fine, actually having a good day, but on the drive home I had this horrible feeling come over me from the pit of my gut. I just felt there was something terribly wrong and that my efforts were futile, something bad was in play and our future was an impossibility. I spent the night reading, listening to music and working out to distract my mind, but it didn't leave and is still in there just not asserting itself.

We are working to resolve things, but I am starting to feel like maybe too much has transpired with me mentally and emotionally to get back to a mutually loving/respectful/trusting relationship.I am at a total loss on rebuilding trust. Without full disclosure, the wiping of her phone and an unwillingness to be transparent I don't know how to try and rebuild trust. Some nights I struggle with even believing she's going to make what she said for dinner, or that she's really going to the store.

I have NEVER been a jealous monkey/suspicious type and seeing this change in myself is infuriating, I get mad at myself for feeling that way and then I get mad that I'm mad.

Talking w. MrMagnolia I realized that I want that loving relationship with someone who loves me as much as I do them. One who wouldn't be so reckless with my heart/love/trust, who is romantic and likes to be romantic. I just don't know I will ever have that through the actions I am taking toward reconciling.

While this ^^^ may not sound like it I am 'healing' slowly and working to be a better me. I've overcame several hurdles both personally and professionally in the last couple of weeks and feel for the most part that I am on a good path.

Hi DF,

She has cut back significantly on the SL side of things, but I know there is still communication between them and suspect most of it has moved to snapchat or another medium.

I'm sorry to say that you are not in Reconciliation. I think the feelings you had last night came because your mind knows that and it just can't quiet down. What you are doing is not Reconciliation it is Rug Sweeping. Your WW is waiting you out. She hasn't stopped talking to the AP so it continues. She has a completely second life (name very much intended) that she seems to have no desire to give up. She is waiting for you to just accept it because as you say she doesn't see that what she has done is wrong. I do not think this is going to stop and is definitely not healthy for you. You really need to project this forward. Are you going to be able to live like this for the next year, 2 years, etc.? I don't see how.

I have some experience with SL. SL, while it may have been a somewhat creative space a decade ago, it's really nothing more then a fetish simulator now. If you have an SO on there, they're on to RP some fetish play, or they're creating models and animations to sell to people (with real money) for fetish RP. So it's honestly not just this dude, but SL itself is a red flag unless you've discussed it beforehand.

Thanks for the update DF. Sorry your anniversary is not what it should be. Your mind and body are telling you something important. Listen to it. So glad your working on improving yourself. Your wife has proven that she would rather keep contact with AP then with her actual husband. You know what others have said. Now your body is telling you too. You need to get out of infidelity either with or without her. Start the process. It takes time to D. If she does finally comes out of her fog, she may actually figure out how mu h damage her actions have caused and may start to do the work to rebuild your relationship. But til you start it, it will only continue. She is getting too many ego kibbles from her AP. I wish you the best. Continue detaching yourself from the situation. Keep moving forward.

I'm sorry you're going through this, at this point after all you've done and endued, the only thing that could shock her out of her is D papers served on her lap (you can stop it later if she changes her lifestyle) and EXPOSURE to ALL family and friends immediately !

If she does not react to that, then you have your answer and let the D process run its course, you already know you cannot allow this for the rest of your life, she's very close to meet one of those guys and carry on a PA. She needs to STOP gaming completely, get a job or another hobby and give you FULL access to all electronic devices, social media and email accounts. Your marriage and, family lifestyle are on the line. Man up and ACT NOW !!!

I will buy a house once my Divorce is finalized.

I am providing ALL logs and information to be included in the divorce decree as reasoning so it will all be public record.

You wrote this on the 18th June.

Has there been any progress on that front and if not, why not?

Hey...we hope you're ok. You are not alone.