SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

i dont want to hurt you

trans: leave me alone for now...i'm having too much fun

She -- It was only 5 times over 25 years.

You're making way too much out of the sex part of my friendship with the OMM.

It really was all about friendship, not about the sex.

I'm not supposed to count all of the weekly phone calls for that long either. That's over 120 hours of talking to each other.

She -- Get over it! I am over it already.

You should be too by now.

NEWS FLASH! She's going to work for a company that has Friendship in it's name.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

My WW Quote: "It just kind of happened". ( although she chased him and seduced him !)

heehee sounds familiar

I swear on the lives of my children that I didn't sleep with him

trans.- Holy Shit I hope I'm not going to Hell for saying that!

snap!

"My feelings for you and her are totally separate."

I have the emotional understanding of a 14-year-old boy.

I love you like a friend, or a sister.

I don't feel butterflies for you anymore, but I'm still willing to have breakup sex.

I think I fell out of love with you a year or two before this happened.

I'm trying like hell to come up for some explanation for my behavior that makes me look better. Come to think of it, that still doesn't cut it.

She's serious. I like that.

She's young and impressed with me and hangs on my every word.

I know I'm the asshole here.

No translation needed.

OW is a good person (If she's a whore then what does that say about me?)

I chose her over you because she respected me (whoever pays the most attention to me gets the prize!)

No one is laughing about this (OW and I sit around talking about how sad it is that you're all alone over here and it makes us feel better about being cheating assholes)

Why are you losing weight now? (Wait a minute! Now that I"ve left you, you look all hot? Other guys can't have you!!)

I can't imagine my life without you (Well I can Pal, and did for a good long time. You'll get use to it)

[This message edited by FierceSelfLove at 12:53 PM, January 19th (Monday)]

You are my best friend in the whole world. Translation: I want to be a cake eater.

Give me time to sort things out in my head. Translation: Let me see if things are going to work with OW before we split our assests.

Why didn't you ever stroke my ego like she does? Translation: I'm in my 40s' and still can't figure out my own self-worth.

He was having a lot of trouble in his marriage, I thought I could help him

Trans. Cause having an A makes every M better right?!?

He never made me cum

Trans. That's why I fucked him regularly for 3+ years

I don't know why I did this

Trans. I don't know how I allowed myself to get caught

I always loved you and didn't want to have an A

Trans. That's why when you had your suspicions and accused me I'd deny everything, then sneak off to F him again.

We didn't do anything that you and I haven't done

Trans. I did every freaky thing that he and I could think of. I was a total slut, how do you think my technique got so much better.

We're just friends you know that!

Trans. Friend with benefits

I swear on our childrens lives I would never cheat on you.

Trans. There just words anyway, nothing will happen to the kids.

I would never cheat on you, I'd get a divorce first.

Trans. Of course I'm not going to get a D. You make a lot of money and support my lifestyle.

[This message edited by lostboy36 at 1:54 PM, January 19th (Monday)]

OMG - This is the most fun I've had in months.

After not seeing her in 15 years but started EA via email, how about this one?

"I tried to be attracted to her again, but I can't imagine what she thought about the look on my face when she opened that hotel room door and I saw how fat she was."

Translation: She was same piece of cheap trailer trash she always was but that didn't stop me from fucking her 15 years ago, and besides, I just lied to my wife, my family, my friends, my kids, and myself to fly half way across the country for one night to get naked with this fat, ugly piece of ass, so .. what the hell, I'm here anyway?

I'm sure I'm repeating some:

I felt sorry for OW1 because she had a chronic disease.

I felt sorry for OW2 because she had a chronic disease.

I fell out of love with you.

I don't love you the way you want me to.

You are too much of a perfectionist.

I will never hurt you again.

I had to be drunk to have sex with them.

I was lonely.

I needed Viagra to save our marriage.

I was always in love with you.

And on and on...

Translation of the above not necessary. We have all learned this "language through immersion".

[This message edited by tooexhausted at 4:19 PM, January 19th (Monday)]

Oh my gosh, here we go again with this. I love it when this happens......

"I only "finger dipped" twice. I knew it was wrong so I took her hand out of my pants and mine out of hers. And as far as the the other dozen times I was there....well we did nothing really, just things that people do when they have affairs"

Trans: We screwed the living daylights out of each other but there is no evidence or video, so that is my story and I am sticking to it.

Ok, I have nothing to add at the moment, but wanted to say that this is the most hysterical post I've seen to date and at the same time it's a fucking shame that a manual can clearly be "written" in just a few days by the amazing BS here!

Oh, I hope I don't kill this thread cuz it's just too freakin' funny!!

When asked if he's having an affair:

"I'm trying hard not to be offended by your question."

Translation: Oh, shit, what the f*** do I say???

"She needed me."

Translation: She stroked my ego (among other things!).

"I never promised anything."

Translation: I was going to wait until the kids were grown and then leave you.

"I'm sorry."

Translation: Holy shit, she's pissed!!!! Grovel, man, grovel!!!

"She's having a hard time."

Translation: She wants to have my "hard time".

When asked about a FIVE PAGE love letter: "It was old."

Translation: OMG, she found the letter--WTF did it say???

This thread should be added to the healing library or something, maybe under a sub-heading, like...

...when you feel shitty but need to laugh about the mess

Here is another good one for the books......

Sometime ago h and I were talking about having sex in different rooms in our house. He made a comment that we have had sex in the kitchen, the family room, the jacuzzi, and on the pool table. Only problem is, WE DON'T HAVE A POOL TABLE, but his little whore did.

Trans: Opps, I did it again. It was actually whore's pool table that her and I screwed each other on.

inadaze, you have a very remarkable sense of humour!

He is Just a Friend - trans: that I wanted to screw

3 months later:

I just gave him a LIFT home - trans: He was on her back

6 months later:

Yes, we had sex, but I ONLY pulled my pants down to here(pointing at her calf/ankle area) - trans: I hope those panty lines around my ankles aren't permanent!

6 days later:

We didn't even do it in the bed, we were on the living room floor. tran: Hopping to the bedroom would have been extremely difficult and 'un-sexy'!

Yes, we spent 2 nights in a hotel together, but we just held eachother...

Trans: I expect you to believe that I slept head to toe with my 'soulmate' after waiting 3 months to see him and sending him pictures of me touching myself...

"Why do you think this is a competition between you and the OM? This isn't a game, you know."

Translation: Stop talking to OM's W and trying to end my A. I want to have my cake and eat it, too.