SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

He's not worth your time.

It's nice to think about but... these two are such liars that it could get you into trouble. Still can't get over them telling the kids his sexual texts were actually from her lawyer about you. It's one thing to mislead... another to make -up a whole new story to bring you down and that's what they have been trying to do. I wouldn't want to risk it this close to Nov. 3rd.

The guy has approached DD to say "hi"... he doesn't get the fact that what he did was wrong and devastating to both families. He isn't going to feel shame if you "stop-by". In his world you are the enemy that did wrong.

How did the kids last counseling session go?

I wouldn't seek him out at all. NOTHING that benefits you or your children can result.

BUT, if you do see him, stand your ground. Look him right in the eyes. Don't say a word. Don't look away or walk away first unless your children are there (they don't need to witness that kind of tension).

That's my two cents. I'm Canadian and there are no pennies anymore, though, so my opinion gets rounded up to a nickel. That's pretty serious.

The last counseling went better than the first. Nobody was crying afterwards. The kids did come home with divorce rules for the parents to follow. Rules are be a bigger person and stop putting the kids in the middle. I asked them both and the kids told me that I can do better. So I have tried this week. We don't talk a b out her as much, I listen of they bring it up and try not to ask anything in regards to her or OM.

Duplicate post

[This message edited by mblink at 11:36 AM, October 13th (Thursday)]

does she actually still see the OM? I thought he was staying with his wife? Or, is there a new OM.

I'm betting you're glad to be finished with this nonsense.

She is still seeing the OM. His wife seems to be willing to allow it or is in denial that it is still going on. I am glad to be finished with the mess. Additionally, I did not see him or seek him out on the night of parent teacher.

How have you been feeling today/lately? I hope you've been finding time to do stuff to blow off steam and to just enjoy life/yourself/...

And it's great that counselling for the kids seems to be going well!

Best wishes

i'll bet you're glad to be finished with it.

It may seem that everything is going smoothly for your ex. But pretty soon, she's going to realize she's just a side piece, and want something more. that's when the OM will have to either choose his wife, or choose your ex. Right now, you're the crazy, bad guy. Your wife and the OM have labeled you that. But eventually, your ex will want more. And then there will be pressure. Either his wife will get dumped or your ex will. but the equilibrium in this situation can't hold. You're the bad guy that's holding it together. But once the divorce is final, and you're not in the equation, their triangle is unsustainable.

I suspect he'll choose his wife. then the unhappiness will begin. Then your ex will realize she gave up her family and got nothing for it. I don't know for sure when it will happen but I guarantee it will. certainly within a few months of the divorce being final.

just sit tight and lay low. disappear from their eyes. and watch it happen.

[This message edited by mike7 at 11:49 AM, October 17th (Monday)]

I did not see him or seek him out on the night of parent teacher.

You're a good man, mblink. Keep on that high road, the view is better from up here.

As for her relationship... it may not seem like it now, but soon enough, you won't give two shits about it one way or the other.

Things will turn a corner here soon. You're doing great.

She is still seeing the OM. His wife seems to be willing to allow it or is in denial that it is still going on. I am glad to be finished with the mess. Additionally, I did not see him or seek him out on the night of parent teacher.

Good for you, your STBXW is a total waste of time. Leave her to her disgusting new life style.

You are better than all this. Concentrate on your kids, and your future healing. Don't let her drag you down. Fight for your kids, and justice.

[This message edited by longforgotten at 8:22 AM, October 18th (Tuesday)]

Nothing really happening at this point. She lives in her house I linger here. We interact very little. She tried at the last kids counseling appointment. The kids were with her and I arrived after they had. To my surprise..... kids were outside on a bench and waiting for me. We stood out there and talked for a bit then inside to be called for therapy. Again to my surprise, the kids sat on either side of me in the waiting room and we continued our conversation. Stbxw interjected at times but it was obvious an attempt to involve herself. It was a pleasant feeling that the kids would without knowing just move towards me and want to share things with me.

They are back home this week and it already seems that time is flying by. I hate it. We took a road trip Saturday and had a bunch of time to talk, gripe, listen. I asked them if they felt settled when they switched houses. Different answer from each kid. DD.... no, it feels like I'm always going away.

Ds.... kinda feels ok but it is still weird that we switch. I. Am not sure how to make this any better. I know my life seems to be on hold and every other week is a gap until they come back. I don't like it but it is now normal I guess.

This was just sort of an update more than a need for a response. But now.... is there anything I can do to help them settle? What should I be doing to not live in this week on week off cycle that just seems to put me on hold every other week? I know it will change a bit when basketball starts next week..... I will see ds everyday, probably take him to her house after practice.

Hi. Glad things are going relatively well! What does the counsellor suggest that you can do to make the switching easier/better for them?

It's great that basketball practice will start soon and that you'll see your son more often. Is there a way to get your daughter involved in such an activity that would help you see her more often even on "off" weeks? What are you doing for yourself during the "off" weeks to heal, enjoy life,...?

I'd talk to the counselor as well. Make sure the counselor is aware that your WW's issued a guilt campaign last court date. That they have to hide to talk with you while they are at her house. That November 3rd court date is just around the corner and you want them to be open about the living situation and how they feel. Wounder if their Mother is going to try to guilt them into a 50/50 split again?

I don't know if you are going to be able to get out of this limbo prior to that court date.

Has WW been better about pick-ups/drop-offs and spending time with the kids?

Kids are home and all is right in my world. It's sad but that is how I feel. After school Friday we made the required trip there to pick up the stuff. Stbxw was not there, which was good, kids got their stuff and we left. Easiest Friday in a long while. No interactions with her all week from kids or me. DS has a game last night Imy not sure if she was there.

Today I heard that obs kicked him and his elderly father out. Good for her I guess. I assume he just couldn't stay away and she had enough. I guess the relationship will become public knowledge soon, if it is not already.

Again a duplicate entry. Sorry. But,I feel the continuation of the relationship will be devastating to my kids. I know they are not ready for it to be public.

[This message edited by mblink at 2:37 PM, October 26th (Wednesday)]

Did you ever expose him to the school? If so what did they say?

No I was waiting until the divorce was final. Hopefully next week

Today I heard that obs kicked him and his elderly father out. Good for her I guess. I assume he just couldn't stay away and she had enough. I guess the relationship will become public knowledge soon, if it is not already.

Great timing. Looks like she is going to be so busy with OM misfortune she wont be able to "pressure the kids into 50/50" right before the court date. Really hoping things work out for you as far as custody next week. Wondering if WW is going to let OM and his Dad move in with her... that would be so horrible for the kids... not sure what the lawyer could do about that. Do the kids know that he has been kicked out?

i think it would be awesome if he got fired. Not that I'm vindictive, oh wait, I guess I am. :)

They can have their little love nest. But after he gets fired, the emphasis will be on the little.