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Western ( member #46653) posted at 7:11 PM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017
legally, I agree with Drumstick although Rambler makes some good points. Y, keep up the fight and be prepared for the full court press Friday
Exit Wounds ( member #32811) posted at 3:32 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2017
Keeping you and your DD in my prayers tonight.
Exit WoundsH of 17 years got gf pregnant, left our kids 9 & 11 and we never saw him again. -His choice.
TimSC ( member #58844) posted at 5:59 AM on Wednesday, May 24th, 2017
Keep your resolve. I am glad you and your daughter are growing closer together and have had a chance to discuss the consequences of your wife's infidelity.
I am also glad your daughter sees who is at fault here and is aware of who caused this upheaval in your lives.
midnightschild99 ( new member #33465) posted at 5:04 AM on Thursday, May 25th, 2017
WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 1:20 AM on Friday, May 26th, 2017
Well, tomorrow is the big day.
Thinking of you and your daughter.
Hope things go as smoothly as possible.
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
twisted ( member #8873) posted at 4:43 PM on Friday, May 26th, 2017
Y, I do hope you will update us all that have been following this thread. Good luck today.
[This message edited by twisted at 10:43 AM, May 26th (Friday)]
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 9:56 PM on Friday, May 26th, 2017
Let us know when she lands....
Stay strong.
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
leftbroken ( member #53741) posted at 10:20 PM on Friday, May 26th, 2017
Well hindsight, today is the big day and we are all anxious to see how you handle this.
To this point you have been the pillar of strength and a role model for many that have been betray by people that don't deserve the time they have been given.
Keep it up, R or D is up to you but weakness will only get you relegated to being a plan B option and a place holder until something better comes along.
our lives are a novel and we its authors, if you don't like the plot only you can change it.
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 1:57 AM on Saturday, May 27th, 2017
Hope it went as you desired.
Strength
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 4:09 PM on Sunday, May 28th, 2017
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
william ( member #41986) posted at 9:41 PM on Sunday, May 28th, 2017
me - bh
her - lara01
from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA
??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys
Hurting71 ( new member #58965) posted at 9:57 PM on Sunday, May 28th, 2017
I guess I'm going through some similar conundrum. Just caught my cheater who is using everything I pay for to fund her EA. I ponder the same. Do I cut her off or let her stew? I feel your pain though. I have been in the same marriage for 23 years. Personally, I think I'm going to cut the funding once everything opens after the holiday. I am sorry to have to share this experience with you.
BS- 46 (unfortunately me)
WS- 46
D Day- 05/27/2017
Western ( member #46653) posted at 6:32 AM on Monday, May 29th, 2017
yes Hurting, cut the funding. Y, what is your status ?
twisted ( member #8873) posted at 11:50 PM on Monday, May 29th, 2017
Impatiently waiting for Y to check in.
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
TimSC ( member #58844) posted at 5:03 AM on Tuesday, May 30th, 2017
He said the wife was due back last Friday, but he and his daughter were going to Hawaii. I don't remember him saying when they would return.
YHGTBKM (original poster member #58437) posted at 4:48 AM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
Hello Everyone. I want to provide everyone with an update. My STBEXW, not surprising to me, failed to show up for her appointment with my lawyer on Friday, claiming to be too tired.
She tried to get into my house, but was unable to. She checked in to the motel that I booked for her (I instructed the manager to advise me when she arrived).
She continued to contact me and my daughter over the weekend, asking me for a chance to keep the family together, for counselling and asking my daughter to ask me.
My stance hasn't changed, I continue to tell her that I am not interested in any discussion on reconciliation and for us to move forward, I would require a cessation of our marriage. Lots of tears and begging didn't get her what she wanted.
On Monday she went to my lawyers office and wrote a very detailed account of her affair, beginning to end. To her credit she took full responsibility and accountability for everything.
She has asked for three things; 1.) a better apartment so that our daughter has a nice place to live, 2.) Maintenance payments for my daughter regardless of her primary residence status and 3.) double-up payment on her one-time payment. For this she will not contest the validity of the pre/post nuptial agreement.
My lawyer said she does not have a case at all but lawyer fees could be obtrusive, so some concessions may be in order.
I have offered to transfer the condo into her name, but that is all. I agreed that if our daughter chooses her mom as her primary caregiver/residence then I would be responsible for maintenance payments in-accordance-with my legal responsibility. If my daughter chooses me as her primary caregiver/residence then she would be responsible for maintenance as per her legal responsibility. I would not agree to a double up on the payment.
She asked if I would agree to forgo giving her the condo in exchange for a double up on the one time payment. I said no.
She told her friend that has been feeding me information that she has no idea where I was getting some of the information. She also said that she is confident that she will be able to seduce me and I will eventually forgive her and everything will go back to the way it was. Hilarious oblivion.
Unless there is some amazing about-face, I will be in my lawyers office on Monday to sign-off on the final dissolution.
nme1 ( member #44360) posted at 4:54 AM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
How's your daughter handling your STBXWW's manipulation?
Me: BS
Him: WS
M 16 yrs 2 x DS
D-Day 6th March 2014
wordsofwisdom ( member #54083) posted at 4:59 AM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
Thanks for the update. I wonder what better apartment for your daughter she is talking about if your daughter is willing to live with you and already has a nice place to live. After all, you can transfer the condo on your daughter's name if its all about your daughter.
I also hope you had some time to devise a plan of self-recovery. Send you my kind wishes.
One day discovered my wife chasing her old sweetheart. Wished her good luck and moved on to better things and people.
Divorced: Jan 2010
wordsofwisdom ( member #54083) posted at 4:59 AM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
double post
[This message edited by wordsofwisdom at 11:00 PM, May 31st (Wednesday)]
One day discovered my wife chasing her old sweetheart. Wished her good luck and moved on to better things and people.
Divorced: Jan 2010
vatoloco ( member #56680) posted at 5:06 AM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
Admired YHGTBKM:
I admire you friend for how you have led your distressing situation. Just words of congratulations, and I still surprise your wife, her cynicism has no limits, believes that her vagina would save her. I see in it little remorse, I think it only sees the economic question, it is like your friend were nothing more than a dollar bill with feet.
I can suppose that this was not the first infidelity that exposed you, I suppose by the degree of courage that has had, unfortunately hollywood has lost a great actress, almost certainly they would have given an Oscar.
Greetings to you, and your daughter, with strength that the world will be new but I wish you the best.
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