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I have to say I’m impressed by your self control in response to this horseshit:

What she meant was that if baby is mine, we'll probably do a 2-2-3 schedule and do joint legal and physical, but if baby isnt mine she will want our son to go to sleep every night in her care, and my visitation will be liberal. I laughed. She got mad. I said if you can't agree to joint legal and physical then i will go to court, because there is nothing i have done for me to not see our son at least 50% of time. We both plan on living in same town that you can literally drive from one end to the other in 10 minutes.

I cannot conceive of how on earth in the face of that narcissism and wrongheaded drivel you didn’t respond by laughing incredulously and stating,

“ It is official. I’ve already figured out you have the morals of a feral cat. I didn’t realize you also have an utter absence of empathy. If you think I’m giving up any time with my son because you have managed to make a shitshow of your life and our family, you need to be committed somewhere. Seriously, you think I’m going to deprive myself of time with my son because you have the critical thinking skills of that doorknob over there and could not rub two neurons together and realize I wasn’t going to just bend over backwards to clean up after your mess?? Not. Going. To. Happen. Try me.”

Divorce is business even though you’re negotiating over precious people and things. Business. She gets exactly what your state say she is entitled to. You don’t have to and shouldn’t enable her to continue to make disgusting choices by making it easier to stay in the house or storing her shit, or providing her anything more than whatever equals half. Do her no favors. Allow her to wallow in the deep sleaze she invited into your life and you spend your time keeping that muck off you and your son.

I find your post deeply insulting and insensitive to feral cats.

As an individual with a cat for a pet, I had to laugh at this analogy.

As Lieswearmedown pointed out, she is not looking at the divorce process realistically regarding custody and selling of the house.

If she happens to come up with the money to purchase your equity and finance the house you should let her if it saves you realtor fees and commission.

Also, given the extent of her crazy making she may attempt to bring the OM in on financing of the house.

She is all over the place. Please prepare for the bizarre. I never knew how absurd things could get during the divorce process.

Keep your VAR charged or with fresh batteries.

Basically she is not liking what divorce looks like for her.

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 12:00 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)]

This just proves, once again, the person you marry is not the person you Divorce.

Good for you for standing your ground with her. She is having a reality check and doesn’t like it. Boo boo 😒 for her.

As the saying goes “you make your bed you lie in it”.

She has said repeatedly that divorces cause bad marriages;

WHAT?????? Once you're divorced, the M is over - not bad, good, or indifferent.

My god, she is indeed a couple fries short of a Happy Meal.

Be careful. Keep your door locked at all times - even when you're not home.

Her meltdown is going to get a lot worse.

Protect yourself. It will be nuclear when she finally goes off

This.

Sir, it seems that you married a particularly crazy one. Her apparent grasp of reality is fleeting at best. Protect yourself in every possible way from the scheming, plotting, and the deceptiveness which is all but certain to come. When she does cook off, the blowback is going to be devastating. I wish you the best in extracting yourself from the infidelity and the carnival sideshow which is this woman's life.

Wow, she has no idea of the reality of D.

Has there been any communication with the AP? Has the AP made any attempts to contact your wife or any of member of her family? Has he dropped off the face of the earth?

Retainer for lawyer seems fair to me at this point to go forward and be completely represented at this point.

Believe us when we say the cost of representation is well worth it. Especially in your circumstances.

You are doing well.

Great work recording conversations. This should continue. Have a recording device on you at all times, recording every interaction with her.

If she does go nuts, then you will not only have protected yourself and your time with your child, you will have something to show the judge. This is good.

Director:

Time to implement boundary statements. These are to prevent you from engaging in her madness as well as to clearly communicate what you will not tolerate:

1. I'm not okay with X.

She wants full custody or some other nonsense? Use it, with no follow up. You don't owe her an explanation.

2. I see it differently.

Use this when she wants to tell you about how poorly you may have done something.

3. You do what you feel you need to do. I will do the same.

This should be your go-to for any threats she may issue.

4. I'm sorry you feel that way.

Another go-to when she blames you for anything.

5. Are you done?

Use this if you feel the need to repeat any of the above key statements. It shows you are not okay with repeating yourself.

You are doing great, brother.

Keep recording everything. Desperation will lead to desperate measures. Protect yourself at all costs.

[This message edited by farsidejunky at 12:18 PM, February 6th (Wednesday)]

director, this is indeed a BS's worst nightmare, and you are handling it admirably.

She explained that when she was having the A, she never felt good about it and explained that it was a high in the moment, but she immediately regretted it and remembers questioning herself why she was doing this because she said she didnt want to.

This is pretty much a standard response, as most of us would have expected. You identified the "mental illness" ploy to get you to stay, I'm not buying it either.

One point, I would assume you would want to divorce BEFORE the baby is due. I'm not sure about yours/hers insurance situation, but God forbid, should there be a complication, premature or some physical/developmental issue with the child that would impact you financially forever in long term care needs,

would be a gut-wrenching moment to walk away from even if the child was not yours.

I'd recommend avoiding that unlikely possibility, and divorcing sooner than later, and determining paternity before birth if at all possible.

I know that sounds cold, but it's not a burden I could deal with.

Director, is there anyway to get the paternity of the unborn child before birth? If you're going down the road of D, that seems like its well worth the cost and effort no matter whose baby it is. It will play into your negotiations, and custody issues.

The woman is 6 months pregnant.

The divorce can’t be finalized before the birth and the clarification of paternity.

Ongoing stress, confrontation and pressure can/will negatively impact the pregnancy and the unborn child. If you can find a way to call your wife a feral cat without her physical reactions impacting the unborn child (remember – it might be yours) then insult away. Otherwise I suggest you calm down and focus on resolution rather than retribution.

There is nothing healthy or normal in you spending time with your in-laws as a family.

If she wants the house, then fine. You still must do the same preparation: Have it valued and prepare the documentation required. If her parents plan on supporting, her then fine too. One less issue for you. At the end of the day you want to walk away with a reasonable 50% of assets minus debts. Remember the war-chest and the who wins divorce? Be great if they tie cash in the house rather than in legal fees.

Try to arrange some separation agreement until the baby is born. Or get your FIL to agree to get his daughter to accept him as her surrogate in negotiating the divorce. But it won’t be finalized before the paternity is determined and successfully refuted.

Small town with a 10-minute radius? EVERYONE knows OM was fired. EVERYONE knows why.

Received phone bill today.In remembering d-day was 1/10/19 the following were found:

1/14: 2 calls 4 min

1/18: 7 calls 18 min

1/27: 1 call 1 min

1/28: 1 call 1 min

2/1: 3 calls 5 min

2/2: 1 call 25 min

I woke up this morning intending to file. After seeing this i thought she continues to not put me first, so going forward i won't be putting her first either. Text her what i found and that i'll be filing and taking 1/2 of money.

Got no response but a phone call from her mom. Said their relationship is over and that he threatened to hurt himself which is why she had to call him. Also told me i'm reading a little to far into the call history dating back to 10/17. Said lots of calls were for work. I explained i highly doubt they were having hour long phone conversations in the middle of the night over work. She had to get off phone because ww left work a mess and she doesn't know where she was going, but wanted to tell me what she believes the truth is.

I said the truth is that she had a relationship out of our marriage, then an affair, and now is potentially carrying another mans child.

Conversation ended shortly after.

Again, a lawyer is your best ally with regard to divorcing her while she is pregnant. I know you haven't made that decision yet but if you do, don't delay filing because it's been said you can't divorce her yet. It all depends on the state in which you live, especially with the high probability that the child she is carrying is the result of her infidelity during your marriage. Don't assume anything - get FACTS.

File dude; it's time.

Sorry, director.

Your MIL is way off base.

Your wife did not have to call him.

He is not her problem, the problem lies with her, you, and your son.

Apparently she continues to lie as there is not really NC established.

He's still in her life and yours.

You are making great strides getting yourself out of infidelity, heartbreaking as it is.

Continue with the divorce process, if nothing else the phone calls prove she is putting OM first.

I highly suggest you do NOT give her a heads up with your plans. Let the chips fall, she has her parents to support her through this nightmare she created.

Just filed.

Sense of relief has overcome me knowing I am beginning to work my way away from her.

Thanks to all that have commented. I will continue this going forward in the divorce section.

Good for you. Be sure to take care of yourself.