SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So to clarify the contacct is still only text via the app. We don't even cross the street at drop off. No eye contact no chatting. Nothing. When I am outside they scurry in like rats. It's actually kinda funny I've gone and grabbed the mail a couple times just to have some fun. Not gonna lie...

You're on the rollercoaster, Rockstar. It will eventually even out. Just hang on, you're doing great! Stay away from the bottle - it's poison for you right now. ((hugs))

If you went and grabbed mail and shouted something like “howdy neighbors!” and waved while they ran back inside thatvwould be awesome!

Hang in there. That's very sad that she needs to make up tales to her friend.

Yes, sleep is huge to health. Did you know almost all our repair goes on in the first four hours of sleep, then comes the body getting rid of toxins and waste products. The last stages of sleep the extra fat gets cleared out. So you need the full amount whenever you can. Be sure to eat fiber too because the toxins and extra fat gets attached to fiber and sent out. That's how it works, you need fiber and plenty of fluids otherwise your body keeps the bad stuff locked up in fat cells.

And you know sleep is essential for good mental function. You are doing great right now. Some days are just tougher than others. You have come a long way already. Is your weather good enough to enjoy going outside? That helps me so much.

Duplicate post

[This message edited by pureheartkit at 10:59 PM, March 2nd (Friday)]

Been thinking of your situation all day. It seems you triggered when you reached out to that friend.

Their are possibly two ways to deal with this.

1. Because reconciliation is not going to be considered, be active in informing everyone of what happened. Group email, group fb message. Let everyone know your reasons..off set the lies..the effect these lies have on you.

2. NC...NC...NC...

ps your last post started to show the positive you again.

Really looking forward to seeing you conquering the world.

[This message edited by paboy at 11:12 PM, March 2nd (Friday)]

RockstarDad, about this friend? Of you both, just like to say be careful on what you tell her, as she may be playing a 2 way street behind your back with your EXWW, unlike your posts title meaning and interpretation of it's across the street, this is quite different street altogether, now that you are getting some information from this friend about your EXWW, (she may not be telling you everything) I hope you are never the one to always bring things up first and certainly never tell this friend any of your plans on how you are getting out of your infidelity marriage.

Regards BJE49

I know there is a chance that she could talk to my stbxWW but doubt it. She was frank and honest and knew the WW mentality and was straight forward. I gave up nothing the WW doesnt know already. Really I dont think I have much to hide anyway. She talked about the frustrations in her marriage and my stbxww's justifications for hers. She was remorseful and know what she did was wrong and cried on the phone talking about what she did. I was pretty amazed how remorseful ahe was still 3 years later.

I'm still hoping you can get everything signed and finalized before she gets a good look at what she's lost...and rethink things. Sounds like she is trying to rewrite the marriage and the separation. What could she say that would validate leaving her husband and kids to move in with the married man across the street? Surprised your WW friend didn't put two and two together and figure it out herself. On that note you might want to attempt to connect with her BS again. you were there for him before but something small could have set him off. He probably understands more than most what you are going through.

If I get the final agreement signed next week then mid April is the state's min 180 days. Lawyer says he can get a date close

I know we were all pressuring you to keep the house but you need to do what's best for you. Your writing style comes off as upbeat even when you are writing about lack of sleep, short term memory loss and flooding the house...Sounds like you IC must think the same way to be cutting back on sessions. It's got to be hard with that relationship across the street and living in the same house. Do you think you can find a place in the same school district?

Did she get everything moved out of the house? Do you think she will have any problems signing the final agreement?

Well I gave her the final divorce proposal. The one where I pay off 20k on her truck pay for all the kids expenses but keep everythhing else. I asked for right of first refusal when ahe is working which gives me Tues, weds, thurs till 8pm after school and 5:30 on fridays. It's in my favor.

Only thing she asked for was child support 250 bi-weekly and no right of first refusal on Saturdays (she works 8am-1 during summer). I thought it was reasonable really considering really it is every other Saturday as we will be doing a 4-4 schedule. Formula has me paying 940 a month for child support minus health care for kids and I would keep all my retirement and equity in the house.

I have no fear of kids lacking as so and her amd the AP's income is as much as mine but keeping equity and getting this signed quickly before she asks for more make me think I should just agree. Not here for support on that. I can make decision over the weekend, this really is a no brainer though. We talk again on Monday.

She looked shittier than I remembered. We hadn't talked in 2 months? I was talking to her and thought well this actually seems like the woman I loved again, but she aint...

Fuck I loved her so much. Brings back the betrayal thoughts. Damn I really treated her well too. Her bad not mine but I get to live with the fallout. I hope she realizes how this made me feel someday. I feel like it's just another day in her life. She looked stressed but no sign of regret or remorse. She remarked how amicable we were... Onward.

[This message edited by RockstarDad at 6:17 PM, March 9th (Friday)]

I think instead of $250 a week I'd see if she'd go $1000 a month.

Sorry that's 250 BIWEEKLY. I was wondering whose side u were on for a sec.

I edited the post so it reads that way.

[This message edited by RockstarDad at 7:09 PM, March 9th (Friday)]

Oh hell no!

If you pay for the truck, you keep it.

If she wants it, she should take the debt.

Total assets are 150-180k. She is getting 30k. I could care less how she gets it. My retirement fund, pension, and home equity set me up for the short term and then long term. I drive a minivan and it works great for the kids sports stuff.

If you and your lawyer think it's a good deal then move forward quickly. I'm still of the mind that things are going to explode (between her and OM) and she will start fighting the divorce and become unreasonable. Get what you can while she is still in la la land and happy.

You really are a Rock star!

I see...seems like a decent deal then.

Sorry that's 250 BIWEEKLY. I was wondering whose side u were on for a sec.

I edited the post so it reads that way.

So go for $500 a month rather than $250 biweekly. Save $500.

That’s a terrible deal. If custody is 50/50 there should be zero child support! Because you pay and she pay equally. And you want the ability to claim on tax return so spell that out in agreement.

I considered the 500 monthly.

Even with 50/50 (really it will be 60/40 in actuality) due to her work schedule and right of refusal the state formula here comes to 940 a month because of the disparity in income. Her AP's income doesn't come into play although I've mentioned several times that they make combined what I make. Eventually Mrs Right will be there and make a lot more than she did and I don't want that to be the impotice to reopen child support and custody as it can be re-opened by either party anytime.. I think I just sign. We shall see what she says on Monday and go from there. Fingera crossed I can get this thing wrapped up 150 days from dday. Moving onward.

I got this part so far.

And yes I still hope they implode the day after. I would bet money it takes 2-5 years and she gets pregnant within 1 year. If she can't be honest with her friends she has so much committed she has to ride this out as far and as long as she can and then she would have to get a different option to go to sinve ahe cant support herself. They are inseperable as far as I have seen so not much chance for her to do it yet. She can't support herself so she needs someone else too. Oh well not my problem, but nice thing to think about.