SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On the other hand, once they go from "Unnamed Man #1 for HOtel stay 3" to "Joe Dokes, 1234 Franklin street, Detroit, MI" That might make for far more compelling evidence, should it get to court.

And even better if your PI finds arrest records and mugshots. Might be kind of fun to set up a slide show of photos of the AP's to run on the tv, let her see what kind of info could end up going public. Don't say that of course, you don't want a black male charge , but she probably won't want daddy to see the photos.

Probably what you're going to run up against is.

She maybe a cheater but she's their cheater and you will be the bad guy for dumping their princess.

Sorry man

I think it'll be in your best interest not to poke he bear more at this time.

I’m actually glad to hear you’ve been crying. With all the strength you have shown and the way you have handled this horrid situation I was worrying you were suppressing your emotions and the pain you feel from her infidelity.

Take care.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 10:51 AM, November 8th (Friday)]

I wish I could give you a sisterly hug. Men do not get enough non-sexual affection in our culture. And you could use some.

Thank for for sharing about how much you are crying. Again, something that men usually hide, but it is part of our emotional toolkit. No shame at all. More importantly, your admission of tears makes you a role model for others who might be embarrassed about that and not say it.

So thank you for your candor in all of this. You are helping many lurkers as well as new posters here.

I wish I could give you a sisterly hug. Men do not get enough non-sexual affection in our culture. And you could use some.

Damn straight. I miss that. Every day.

You've already told her you're going to D, so it shouldn't be a surprise either way, you could just hand it to her, I would let the attorney serve her and get a signed receipt that she got the documents.

You are doing very well brother regardles of the shit storm.

The top priority is #1 DD, #2 Yourself, #3 every one else, #4 WW.

Yes she is your STBEXW and the mother of your children. No matter how it ends up that cannot be changed. There may even be some love for her as the mother of your children.

Your lives will be together for a few years at least. But she isn't the priority anymore.

There is no need to inform her she is being served, she never gave you the courtsey of knowing she was going off to bang other men. One day at a time

Buffer

[This message edited by Buffer at 12:08 AM, November 9th (Saturday)]

WW is being served at home on Thursday. I told her this morning she needed to be home when it happens. She went white and dead silent. That's a first. Usually she moving her yapper constantly.

At least you may get some peace and quiet for a little while.

Good luck, West. You're handling this well, very straightforward. I hope she doesn't do anything stupid, like avoid being served..

Westway, this is her realizing you're actually D'ing her. She didn't believe you before. She thought she could talk you into staying in a loveless marriage when she isn't even attracted you as if anyone thinks that's some sort of grand prize. You informing her made her realize it's over and she has zero chance of convincing you otherwise. Even though it seems like an obvious consequence of her own choices to you, us, and anyone else, it's probably a huge shock to her that she's not getting her way this time.

Good for you moving forward with the D. Have you been able to talk some more with your DDs? Let them rant away and vent their frustrations? They need a rock to lean on. Someone who is going to be honest and truthful with them. Be that dependable parent.

Westway, this is her realizing you're actually D'ing her. She didn't believe you before. She thought she could talk you into staying in a loveless marriage when she isn't even attracted you as if anyone thinks that's some sort of grand prize. You informing her made her realize it's over and she has zero chance of convincing you otherwise. Even though it seems like an obvious consequence of her own choices to you, us, and anyone else, it's probably a huge shock to her that she's not getting her way this time.

Funny thing, but about three days ago I ran into an old high school friend that I dated sporadically. She told me how great I looked and that she would date me in a heartbeat if I was ever single. So, that felt good. It's nice to know I'm not a goat.

Good for you moving forward with the D. Have you been able to talk some more with your DDs? Let them rant away and vent their frustrations? They need a rock to lean on. Someone who is going to be honest and truthful with them. Be that dependable parent.

I spend about an hour every night with my younger daughter just helping her with homework. I just try to be present, and I let her lead the conversation. If she wants to talk about her mom and the divorce we talk about it, otherwise we just enjoy each other's company. She is not the kind of female you can impose things on. If I try, she retreats into her shell like a turtle. My other daughter and I talk about every other day. She is super pissed at her mom. I can't imagine what she would do if she found out the WHOLE truth.

Take care! More shit will come from her and what she tells her family.

It’s tough to find silver linings in these situations. Becoming a phenomenal parent is definitely one. And if you do it right with a marathon, not sprint mentality you become an admirable frame of reference for your kids for the rest of their lives. Not to say you wouldn’t have otherwise, but infidelity, divorce really increases your sensitivity and focus towards this objective. Small solace at the outset, but as time goes by it becomes a bigger and bigger deal with a closeness and relationship with your kids that only you share, which in and of itself provides a sense of pride and personal reward.

My other daughter and I talk about every other day. She is super pissed at her mom. I can't imagine what she would do if she found out the WHOLE truth.

Has either daughter expressed a desire for you and your wife to reconcile? To you directly. What do you say then? I admit I had trouble telling them this because there were elements I didn’t wish to discuss about what a dealbreaker was in a relationship and why.

Has either daughter expressed a desire for you and your wife to reconcile? To you directly. What do you say then? I admit I had trouble telling them this because there were elements I didn’t wish to discuss about what a dealbreaker was in a relationship and why.

No, they have made no such request of me. They know enough about what she did to know that their mom has hurt me in such a way as reconciliation is out of the question.

I can't imagine what she would do if she found out the WHOLE truth.

Isn't it likely that our wife will continue with her lifestyle choices once you are divorced but less carefully? In time your daughters will pick up on it.

Your fortitude is admirable. I hope the divorce and the annulment run smoothly for you and your girls.

Yes she will most likely continue on with the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. She just has to be careful not to let anyone see the black guys she is dating. All her fraternizing will have to take place far across town where none of her friends or associates visit, which means she will be going into some sleazy locales and putting herself into some bad situations. I can't protect her from that and I have no more desire to. One day, I predict, she's going to fuck the wrong guy and his wife or girlfriend is going to come after her. It's just one of the many dangers she faces feeding her addiction. Not my problem.